Well dudes, it’s time to talk about “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III,” released in 1993. Before I start the review, I would like to talk about when I watched this movie. If you remember in my review of the first movie, I said that my cousin lent me his VHS copy. I probably recall him saying that he also had the third one on VHS, but I never asked him if I could borrow it. Even my friend, who owned all three movies on VHS and I saw the second one at his house, I never got a chance to see the movie the next time I went over his house. It wasn’t until years later when I saw Angry Video Game Nerd’s critical thrashing on the movie that my curiosity got to me. I was thinking, “Is the movie really this bad that AVGN called this the worst movie he’s ever seen?” Even after seeing The Nostalgia Critic’s review on all three movies did I really want to see the movie. I asked the same cousin who lent me his copy of the first movie if I could borrow his copy of the third movie, but he could not find it. Thankfully, someone had uploaded the whole movie on YouTube, so I checked it out there. Now that I got that out of the way, let’s get started on this really righteous review.
This movie is less violent and more scenic than the last two movies, since the Turtles are taken out of the sewers and are transported back in time to feudal Japan. There, they go native while saying “Whoa!” and “Check it out!” and everything that makes them stay within their own roots, which is a good thing.
This film, written and directed by Stuart Gillard, has a straight action plot involving a samurai named Lord Norinaga (Sab Shimono), his son Kenshin (Henry Hayashi), Kenshin’s girlfriend Mitsu (Vivian Wu), and cowboy Walker (Stuart Wilson). Adult viewers will not be surprised but at least it will hold their children’s attention. The story is unremarkable, by time-traveling standards, that it would be hard for you to realize that the Turtles have hard shells and green, spotty heads. The casual humor, said by the Turtles and Elias Koteas returning as Casey Jones, I found to be funny.
The story starts when April, reprised by Paige Turco, the Turtles’ loyal friend, switches places with Kenshin through a scepter she bought, and the Turtles travel back to 1603 Japan to rescue her. Janet Maslin said in her review, “It's worth mentioning that Paige gets to fight alongside her friends and deliver scorching wisecracks, or at least lines that 5-year-olds in the audience will find funny.” Through the standards that Hollywood has set, she is almost given one of the best women’s roles.
Even the Turtles are better-natured in this one, and are made calm. They usually just joke around until the last fight sequence, which involves them kicking and using their weapons. (Maslin cautioned, “Young viewers should be kept away from kitchen knives when they get home.) Count on the Turtles making pop-culture references like Clint Eastwood, Wayne’s World, Geraldo Rivera, pizza, Frisbees and so on. Even when they are in the 17th-Century, it’s like they are still home.
Leonardo is played by Mark Caso and voiced by Brian Tochi, Michelangelo is played by David Fraser and voiced by Robbie Rist, Donatello is played by Jim Raposa and voiced by Corey Feldman, Raphael is played and voiced by Matt Hill, and Splinter is played and voiced by James Murray.
My thoughts on this movie are that it’s not as bad as everyone says it is. I agree it’s the worst in the Turtles trilogy, but not one of the worst sequels. There are other sequels that are far worse than this one, like Spy Kids 4, Jaws: the Revenge, and Free Willy 3 to name a few. Also, it’s not one of the worst comic book adaptations. Other comic book movies are far more painful than this one, like Superman 4 and Batman & Robin. Finally, I wouldn’t even consider this one of the worst movies ever made, or even “the” worst movie ever made. For AVGN and Nostalgia Critic to say something like that is a “real” stretch. There are movies that are far worse than Ninja Turtles III. From a comment that I remember reading under AVGN's video, this movie was supposed to show how the 80s cartoon went downhill with the last couple of seasons. Shredder was in Dimension X with the rest of the main villains, and the Turtles were fighting General Dregg, the Turtles were mutating into Hulk versions of themselves, and having a new ally named Carter. That could be the case, since the series ended in 1996. Also, there are some good things in this movie, like Michelangelo falling in love and Raphael teaching one kid, Yoshi, played by Travis A. Moon, how to control his temper. In any case, I know that I already stated that I like this movie and everyone else hates it, but dudes, give this film a chance and have a bodacious time watching it.
Alright dudes, stay tuned next week when I talk about the radical and tubular CGI movie. COWABUNGA!!!!
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