The Fantastic Four: First Steps

Today, my brother and I went and saw “The Fantastic Four: First Steps,” which came out a few weeks ago. This is apparently one of the Marvel movies that everyone is loving. Are they speaking the truth or not? Will this be the “Fantastic Four” movie that “finally” everyone will love?

There are two movies fighting for our attention during the latest Marvel Cinematic Universe film – and one works so well it makes up for the mistakes in the other.

This film, which is the start of Phase Six, introduces a group of characters new to the MCU: The Fantastic Four, a group of astronauts and scientists sometimes called “Marvel’s First Family.” As the quick retro-TV documentary at the movie’s start explains, the intelligent Dr. Reed Richards (Pedro Pascal) led a space mission with his best friend, Ben Grimm (Ebon Moss-Bachrach), his wife, Susan Storm Richards (Vanessa Kirby), and Sue’s brother, Johnny Storm (Joseph Quinn).

That mission hit a cosmic storm, and the radiation gave every one of them incredible powers. Sean Means stated in his review, “Reed can stretch and contort his body like rubber.” Ben has turned into a super-strong rock creature. Sue can turn invisible when she wants and manipulate powerful force fields. Finally, Johnny lights up into a fire being who can fly.

On this parallel universe of Earth, called Earth-828 (the MCU mostly has taken place in Earth-616), the four aren’t just superheroes but really famous. Means mentions, “One of the best throwaway gags comes when Johnny opens a box of Lucky Charms and finds his own miniature action figure inside. It’s a retro-future kind of world, where women dress like Jackie Kennedy in the ‘60s, Johnny records space transmissions on gold-colored vinyl LPs, and the “Fantastic Car” looks like a Hot Wheels car from the days of tail fins.”

Director Matt Shakman clearly knows what he’s doing here on Earth-828, which isn’t surprising for the man who was in charge of “WandaVision.” Means said, “Production designer Kasra Farahani and crew create a “Jetsons”-style futuristic style that permeates everything from the New York skyline to the Fantastic 4’s living room. The look is reminiscent of Pixar’s “The Incredibles,” and a group of movie geeks could stay up all night debating who influenced who.” (One supervillain, an underground ace called Mole Man and played by Paul Walter Hauser (Stingray from “Cobra Kai”), resembles The Underminer from “The Incredibles.”)

Means noted, “Shakman makes us and his cast so at home in this world that we don’t mind so much that the story is a patchwork affair.” The script is written by four people – Josh Friedman, Eric Pearson, and the less-famous team of Jeff Kaplan and Ian Springer, with Pearson, Kaplan, and Springer sharing story credit with Kat Wood – and the layers sometimes show.

At the start of the film, Sue tells Reed that she’s pregnant, after two years of trying. Any family celebration of this blessing is cut short when an alien arrives, a silver figure on a spiritual surfboard. The Silver Surfer, played in motion capture by Julia Garner, tells the people that Earth has been chosen to be destroyed by a planet-murdering being known as Galactus (Ralph Ineson). The Fantastic Four promise that they will do something, though the exceptionally bright Reed isn’t sure what, to stop Galactus.

Means said, “Shakman stages some action scenes of varying quality — a mid-movie outer-space chase as Sue goes into zero-gravity labor is the most frenetic — and more use of the word “family” than any script this side of a “Fast and the Furious” movie.” In the end, Shakman clearly is having more fun building this environment than capturing the emotional lives of the superpowered humans who are trying to keep it from being destroyed.

Even though this is the first time the Fantastic Four has been in the MCU, it’s not the first time they’ve been in the movies. There was the low-budget Roger Corman adaptation in the 90s which I have not seen because, I believe, it was unreleased. There were two not bad movies, in 2005 and 2007, with Ioan Gruffudd, Jessica Alba, Chris Evans, and Michael Chiklis as the protagonists. (That one was referenced in “Deadpool and Wolverine.”) Finally, there was the disaster 2015 version, with Miles Teller, Michael B. Jordan, Kate Mara, and Jamie Bell. Means said, “This one, unlike those others, manages to gauge accurately how seriously we’re supposed to take all this, which is maybe 40 percent.”

Means continued, “The results are a lot more entertaining and eye-catching than some recent Marvel movies. Maybe because Marvel is starting fresh with these superheroes, and giving them a self-contained story that doesn’t rely on knowledge of 14 other characters presented in nine previous movies and TV shows.” (Spoilers: there’s a mid-credits scene that teases an upcoming supervillain, but that’s almost required in Marvel movies currently.) “The Fantastic Four: First Steps” is likable on its own, and a sign that Marvel is coming back after the films that people have not been enjoying after “Avengers: Endgame.”

There was a minor issue at the theater where the film didn’t start showing previews once the showtime started. I don’t know why that was, but I went out to the concession stand to let someone know before they started it. I don’t know why I was feeling tired at one point, but I feel like I zoned out during the first fight scene with Galactus. Still, this was a great movie, the best “Fantastic Four” movie ever made. Everyone should go to the theater to see this because this will make you start liking the MCU again. The slow moments felt really nice for character building, we get to know the characters, the actors played their parts well, there were some nice humanizing and emotional moments, the writing was good, and the action scenes were engaging. This is another one of my favorite comic book movies.

Thank you for joining in on this review tonight. Stay tuned this Friday for the continuation of “Michael Douglas Month.”

Fantastic Four (2015)

I can’t take it anymore. Before I crack, I have to talk about the latest “Fantastic Four” adaptation, which came out about a month ago. As everyone probably knows, this movie has tanked at the box office and has received nothing but negative praise from critics. Is it really “that” bad? Could the fourth attempt at making it really have been the worst? Oh, you bet it has. Bear in mind that this will be a spoiler-full review, so if you haven’t seen the movie, then don’t read the review. If you want a short version: "Don't" see this movie!"

The movie starts off with Owen Judge and Evan Hanneman playing Reed Richards and Ben Grimm, respectively, as kids. Apparently Ben works in a junkyard and his older brother, played by Tom Hanks’ son, Chet Hanks, looks like he is in late high school, early college and likes to pounce on Ben. Luckily the mom, played by Mary-Pat Green, comes in and beats the living tar out of the older brother telling him not to beat up on a child. That’s right because there could be a lawsuit pulled on you for beating up a kid who is not even, or might be half your age, knucklehead!

Cut to seven years later when Reed and Ben, now played by Miles Teller and Jamie Bell, are at their high school science fair when they are approached by Dr. Franklin Storm (Reg E. Cathey) and his adopted daughter, Sue (the hot Kate Mara). Hold your horses right there, filmmakers!!! You made Sue adopted in this version!? Did any one of you ever read a Fantastic Four comic book!? SUE WAS NEVER ADOPTED, YOU IDIOTS!!!!

Before we go any further, let’s talk about the characters. Miles Teller does do a nice job as playing Reed Richards, but the problem with him is that we do not get inside of his head. I would like to know just how smart of a guy he is or his relationship with his mom (Mary Rachel Dudley) and stepdad (Tim Heidecker). We never get that opportunity. Kate Mara is probably better than Jessica Alba, but she mostly plays the role completely dead faced. She doesn’t show any sort of emotion except for a couple of times when she smiles. Also, Reed and Sue are supposed to have a relationship, but we don’t really see that at all. Well, ok, maybe a couple of times, but it’s never developed. Reg E. Cathey is exactly like how Kate is playing Sue. He is completely expressionless and doesn’t seem to change the look on his face throughout the duration of the movie. I want to see more of Jamie Bell as Ben Grimm, but he’s mostly just shoved to the side and we don’t get to see much of him. Michael B. Jordan plays Johnny Storm in this one, but he plays the role as a reckless idiot. He’s immature, juvenile, doesn’t listen, stubborn, and wants things to go his way. Now you might be saying, well Chris Evans played that somewhat in the 2005 version and the 2007 sequel. Yeah, but in that one, he showed likability, unlike in this one where you just want to reach through the screen and strangle this nincompoop. Toby Kebbell plays Victor von Doom in this movie, but he comes across as nothing but a school bully who never grew up and is living in his mom's basement. He apparently closes blinds with his mind and just wants power, nothing else. That’s the best that you could come up with!? He wants complete control over everything and is proving to Reed that he is wrong, when in actuality, Reed is smarter than Victor!! Do we see Reed proving that anywhere to Victor? No!

I didn’t mind the couple of changes they made to this movie. I wasn’t bothered over the fact that Michael B. Jordan would be playing Johnny Storm, as the late Michael Clarke Duncan portrayed the Kingpin in the “Daredevil” movie, and he played a good job there. You would think that they would do it again, but it didn’t work this time around.

This movie is slow-paced to the point where they make it seem long, tedious and boring. Unlike the 2005 adaptation where they jumped straight into them getting their powers, here it takes them about 45 minutes before they get them. They don’t go into space, but instead make a dimension-jumping shuttle where they go to a different planet called Planet Zero, which I didn’t mind at all. Obviously the first test would be with monkeys, but after making that a success, Reed, Victor and Johnny get tanked, Reed invites Ben, and the boys decide to go to Planet Zero, when NASA said that they wanted to test it out with professionals!!! Do these guys ever think things through? When they get to Planet Zero, they realize they made a mistake and leave, but Victor gets trapped on there when Reed tries to save him, and the rest are not able to get back to the base on time. If that’s how they get their powers, how did Sue get them through the computer when she wasn’t even with them? Explanation!?

Now, I didn’t mind that they made them all around the age of 17 or 18 in this movie, but around that age, kids normally mature since they are all young adults and are nearing adulthood. They are not portrayed like that, but instead juvenile morons that come off as unlikable. If you want to make them younger, show them as likable, mature and smart young adults!!!

When they finally get their powers, do we get some action!? No, instead the officials want to run some tests as to what happened. We see Reed looking at what happened with Ben and saying that he will promise to get them out, but then he runs away!? ARE YOU SERIOUS!?!?!?!? HE IS SUPPOSED TO BE THE LEADER!?!?!?!? HOLY HECK, IS HE THE WORST LEADER OF ANY TEAM!!?!?!?!? Why? Because no leader would ever leave their team at a time like this for an entire year! I’m serious, an entire doggone year!!!

Moving on, when we see the tests run on Sue, Johnny and Ben to see what powers they have and control them, it’s fine, but that’s the only time we see it. Before going on, Johnny says the reason why he is working with them is because he was in the hospital after car racing with some friends and Dr. Storm said that he has to earn his car back by working with the team. That’s the only reason he says he is working at the lab and not showing any love to Sue at all when he should be happy that he gets the chance to work with his sister. What a selfish brat! 

Also, it's ridiculous how Dr. Storm keeps using the excuse to higher authorities, "They're just kids." If you're going to use that same excuse every time, WHY DID YOU HIRE THEM FOR THIS JOB!?!?!? You should have gone with someone more professional then them, even though Reed and Ben showed potential and this looked like a project that you have been working on that best fit their credentials, since your base has college kids working there.

Finally, we see Victor become Dr. Doom on Planet Zero, but he isn’t one of the best villains I have ever seen. Instead, he comes across as one of the lamest. Why? Because he doesn’t really do much! That’s the problem in this movie is that they made him too pathetic. He just comes across as one of those typical villains who just wants more power and wants to rebuild Planet Zero in his own image and the human race needs to be destroyed. Gee, where have I seen that before? Maybe in TOO MANY MOVIES TO COUNT!!! I like the fact that he can have telekinetic powers and can control the elements, but how much does he utilize it? Not much that I can say. Like when he walks down the lab's hallway and blows up people's mind just by walking past them. The last action sequence is actually decent, after a long time seeing them not use their powers since they ran tests and when they got Reed to come back. He blocks the teams’ attacks Darth Vader style, but Reed takes him out by simply punching him!? How could you have made one of the greatest villains in comic books a wimp by being taken out with a punch!? What were you people thinking!?

I can’t remember the last time I got so worked up and hateful of a comic book movie. It has been years, I can assure you that. Even movies that I once hated, like “X-Men: The Last Stand” or “Spiderman 3,” I became easy on after I saw it, which everyone can see if you have read my reviews on those movies. This one, I don’t think I will ever like. However, I bet everyone can tell that it has been a long time since I have seen garbage like this.

However, in the end, the actors are good, the acting is decent, and there isn’t anything in it that is atrocious. (Actually, the acting is bad, they are so dull, everyone is stoned-face, and the characters don't work off of each other at all. That is especially seen when there is only one confrontation between Johnny and Ben, when they had multiple.) Calling this a “Fantastic Four” adaptation is a giant slap in the face for fans of the comic series. This is supposed to be light-hearted and comedic, which the 2005 version and the 2007 sequel tried to be, and I gave it credit for at least trying. This one, they didn’t even try, instead darkened it. Hands down, this is the worst comic book movie this year, and I would highly suggest don’t go to the theaters to see it. If you want to check it out as a DVD or Blu-Ray rental, then do so and be happy that you didn’t waste money on it. Like how Jeremy Jahns said, this one is going to be easily forgettable. You will want to see the 2005 version and the 2007 sequel after watching this, I promise you that, because that's what they successfully pulled off in this movie.

Heads up: there is going to be a sequel in 2017. In this amount of time, you better fix the mistakes you made in this movie to make the sequel at least better and likable compared to this trash.

Oh boy, what a relief. Thankfully I have gotten that out of the way. Stay tuned next week to see what I finish the month off with. In the meantime, I'm going to jump in the shower and cool off because I feel dirty after seeing this adaptation.

Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer

Ok, now let’s look at the 2007 sequel to the Fantastic Four movie, “Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer.” This series’ greatest strength is its greatest weakness. Stan Lee and his Marvel Comics creative teams must have understood that not every superhero needed to be or even should be stressed outsider, for instance, like Batman or, more and more, Superman and Spider-Man. The “Fantastic Four” was designed with a family-friendly comfort at its heart, to appeal to a calmer, less testosterone level of comfort. Result, we have these four nerds who happen to have different but admiring capabilities who act as a family unit.

As the movie starts, in fact, the big thing on Sue Storm’s beautiful mind is her marriage to group Reed Richards, a gentle high level scientist with the ability to stretch a point as well a limp to any inconsistent level needed, giving him the name of Mr. Fantastic (which also speaks to his main role). Johnny Storm who, as the Human Torch, can light himself up and burn up the skies, and Benn Grimm, who Jules Brenner describes as “the physical heavy of the bunch with the armor plating of an armadillo,” are doing their absolute best to be supportive of the upcoming wedding and their main roles in it.

Something isn’t right on planet Earth. Brenner said that, “There's something destructive occurring in different quadrants of the earth's surface -- an incoming comet stirring up a wake of damaging storms that make Katrina look like a minor shower.”

Reed’s distraction and scientific work on the phenomena is all too apparent to Sue, or the Invisible Woman, who all too girly, sees it as yet another doubt about Reed’s true desire. However, if the environmental incident isn’t destructive enough to get her on a superhero wavelength, the appearance of gruff, demanding General Hager, played by Andre Baugher, demanding scientist Reed’s full attention to a threat of global proportions gets it.

Brenner said, “Still, as Reed sets up sensors to locate the source of the meteorological anomalies, the big, fab, celebrity wedding on the roof of a posh hotel goes forward.” The day is sunny and fab with bright buildings and blue sky. The bride is complete eye candy, the groom handsome and snappy as a store mannequin. This looks like the marriage is going to be with perfect harmony.

It turns out that Reed’s sensors senses the person behind his doorstep which, at the moment, is the wedding gathering. Brenner said, “Pulsing with energy, this magnetronic freak who has no use for gravity, puts Reed's sensors out in an instant (apparently not liking the limelight either) and just about ruins the wedding.” What is this metallic person flying through space? Johnny lights up and flies after to the scary thug to find out what and who the stranger being so arrogant with our world is.

No match for the superior power of the impostor, he manages to face it, and it turns out to be a unpredictable mold of a man, small, perfectly muscled and statuesque (Doug Jones), whose few works are spoken in, as Brenner describes, “a sad, basso profundo voice” (Laurence Fishburne, who you might remember as Cowboy Curtis from "Pee-Wee's Playhouse") – an amazing new image in the pantheon of super-villains. What he’s doing here is preparing Earth for total energy change to Galactus, his home world, something it depends on for survival and which guarantees the host planet complete annihilation.

After Johnny makes the mysterious figure “Silver Surfer,” the team learns what great power is all about and, just when they figure out that the surfer itself derives power from the surfer board on which it rides, General Hager raises the stakes by bringing in a new expert. Turns out to be the viciously evil Victor Von Doom, the team’s more earthbound enemy whom they thought they had left for dead in a glacier. Doom confesses his purpose to help contain his threat but what he’s really after is the power of the board and he’s more than willing to trade the planet for it, even if it means a short term rent on the property.

Everything makes for a engaging story with a group of iconic figures developed for the comic pages and showing some personality behind the established stereotypes. Brenner said, “Least interesting and little more than a stock character is Chiklis' fourth banana role who is used mostly to bolster a few corny jokes.”

Chris Evans character is better defined than in the original. Ion Gruffudd seems to take the dominant role of the smartest with a bit more authority in this encounter. Jessica Alba can’t be better photographed for the prize of her beauty. Director of Photography Larry Blanford gives her every advantage, little of which seems needed with such natural gifts. Julian McMahon shows some greatness in the way he takes over the screen with such evil of soul.

Brenner mentioned that, “The Silver Surfer is a smashing competitor for sci-fi superhumanity's most dynamic concepts and writer Don Payne and Mark Frost make much out of it with a story on a sweeping interplanetary scale that generates the best shots the Fantastic Four can come up with.” This may amount to a rich payoff from that demographic that will connect with it either because of the intelligent factor or even with it. Director Tim Story keeps it moving and consistent.

Brenner ended his review by saying, “If it seems that I got more out of the adventure than many of my critical colleagues, it's because I did.” You might call it all nonsense, but it’s a great amount of nonsense with enough logical believability in the main look to keep the entertainment people laughing.

Overall, like the first one, this is a real entertainment for the whole family to sit around and watch. If you enjoyed the first one, definitely watch this one and give it a chance.

Now I have to find a day that I can go to the theater to watch the remake and see what I thought about it. That will come next week so stay tuned.

Fantastic Four (2005)

Now I believe the time is appropriate to review all the Fantastic Four adaptations. In case anyone is wondering, no I am not going to review the horrible B-movie from the 90s. I haven’t seen that one, just like I haven't seen the horrible 90s “Captain America” B-movie, so instead I will jump straight to 2005 to the “Fantastic Four” movie that I saw in the theaters with my brother.

Jules Brenner started his review off by saying, “Employing a formative approach to superhero-dom, another comic strip from the minds of Stan Lee and Jack Kirby hits the celluloid. And, if Lee and Kirby know anything, it is that every superhero needs individuality, however artificially contrived.”

To start off, a scientist named Reed Richards (Ioan Gruffudd) and his scientist friend and advisor Ben Grimm (Michael Chiklis from “The Shield”) who need funding for an outer space experiment involving a cosmic storm whose radiation has DNA altering applications here on Earth. The idea is to hit into some of it. Brenner stated, “But NASA, the natural funder for spatial spectaculars, ain't buyin'.” Then, Richards is forced to go face-to-face with his billionaire enemy in the scientific-industrial world, strongly named Victor von Doom, played by “Nip/Tuck” star, Julian McMahon.

This guy’s footprint in the financial universe is large enough to include his own private orbit, space station included. Brenner added, “But, as with many outsize self-made men, he's got megalomaniacal visions of greater wealth, power and domination of all he beholds, none of which is a match for his vanity and tendency to glorify himself every chance he gets.” However, he didn’t get where he is standing on by being stupid, so he offers the desperate Richards a mere 25% and calls the mission his own, which he then uses to impress the comely genetic researcher in his use, Sue Storm, played by Jessica Alba. This slim bit of sensual flame is Richard’s ex-girlfriend, and she’s still got eyes for him.

Thinking the odds are ever in his favor, Von Doom puts a diamond ring in Storm’s face after amazing her on his space ship with Earth revolving outside the windows. What paramour could ask for a more appropriate setting for going down on his knee to ask for someone’s hand in marriage? Before he asks, the mission goes disastrous. Brenner mentions, “Can you believe it, the gauges are off and they're miles closer to the radiation maelstrom than they thought, proving NASA's good judgement in not investing in these clowns.” With no chance to think that piece, the space adventurers, with Ben outside on a space walk in his EV suit, suddenly find themselves tangled in the radiation field. Ben gets the worst of it but they barely escape and return to Earth.

They’re all relieved to be alive from what looked like certain death. However, things start to happen to their genetic encoding and each one finds out they have a certain power. Richards can stretch his limbs, Storm can make herself invisible (but not her clothes, so it’s a problem) and generate a protective shield, her reckless younger brother Johnny Storm, played by Chris Evans, can turn into a fireman and can nuke his surroundings with the BTU’s of the sun and fly like a glowing missile, and then there’s the likable Ben.

For this newly empowered quartet, he’s transformed into an 800 pound, armor-plated pebble man and the only one who can’t turn back into his normal self. He’s also the saddest and suffers the strongest regrets over his change, power notwithstanding. Brenner mentioned, “To fuel his Dostoevskian depression, his new umber-colored armadillo look is too much for his disloyal wife, who returns his wedding ring just when he needs her most.”

Brenner stated, “So, this comprises the team of good guys, the "Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer" and, as every comic book reader knows, a supervillain is as necessary to superheroes as a defendant to a prosecutor--they're nothing without one.” In this one, there’s Von Doom, who has now obtained a new level of insanely ugliness along with good reason for his name. A small injury on his face turns into a titanium scar that grows along with his power to discharge bolts of high-energy voltage that could light the city or melt an enemy. In the situation of a superhero, it’s enough to injure, at the very least.

Two supporting roles stand out. Brenner said, “Hamish Linklater ("Final Draft") as Von Doom's "assistant" Leonard creates his own unctuously efficient enabler that calls to mind Stryker, Dracula's demonic "arranger."” Also, Kerry Washington as Ben’s blind, black, understanding beauty and new companion is worth seeing more of.

With such a volume of CGI effects variation, director Tim Story and co-writers Michael France and Mark Frost hope to light a new franchise in the comic book-to-movie universe, utilizing the trick of a modest beginning. The casting is largely TV people, the dialogue is pale but serviceable, and the inspiration slightly below Johnny’s glowing. Maybe the attraction of a sympathetic strong man, a funny, irresponsible youngster of a super-BIC, a scientist flexible enough to win a girl, and a girl whose dimensions men dream about might just have the potential for more amounts of friendly action fantasy. Consider the sequel inevitable.

I understand that people may not like it, but I read the first Fantastic Four comic by Mark Waid, Mike Wieringo and Karl Kesel, so I am familiar with the origin. Maybe people thought it didn’t follow it too well or that they just lounged around and there wasn’t enough action, but maybe the point to this was the character development. Then again, I still like this movie for the amount of family fun it brought.

How is the sequel? Check in next week to find out.