The Devil Wears Prada

Today, while exercising, I finished watching “The Devil Wears Prada 2” on Hulu. However, before talking about that one, I should give my thoughts on the first “The Devil Wears Prada” movie, which came out in 2006.

Dennis Schwartz started his review by saying, “This lightweight comedy directed by David Frankel (“Miami Rhapsody,” son of Max Frankel, a former executive editor of The New York Times), who has earned his wings mostly in television doing episodes for HBO’s “Entourage” and “Sex and the City”, is based on Lauren Weisberger’s best-selling roman à clef about a bright young aspiring journalist, Andrea “Andy” Sachs (Anne Hathaway), selling her soul to the Devil at a New York fashion magazine. Weisberger researched her book by working for a year as assistant for Vogue’s editor Anna Wintour. Though the characters are all familiar stereotypes, the dialogue is nothing to write home about, the moral arc of the story has little credibility and the story itself has nothing important to say, nevertheless the frosty acting by Meryl Streep is deliciously first-rate (reason alone for seeing the film) and it does give the viewer an insider’s look inside the bustling world of fashion journalism.”

Andy recently graduated from Northwestern and moved to New York from the Midwest to be a journalist, but when she can’t get a real journalism job, she suddenly gets hired as an assistant to head of business and career-crazed editor of the important fashion Runway magazine, Miranda Priestly, played by Meryl Streep. This difficult boss is called “the dragon lady” and is considered the magnate in the fashion business. Schwartz said, “We are told it’s a job that most young women would kill for but for Andy, who cares nothing about fashion and dresses all wrong for the job, it’s supposedly only a good career move where she can become known to other magazine editors by mingling with the world shakers and movers and thereby move onto pursuing her journalism career in the near future.”

Schwartz continued, “The job itself is merely being a flunky to her imperious boss and her many irrational whims and taking further grief from the number one assistant Emily (Emily Blunt), a snooty and curt Brit who loves fashion and her job– and takes pleasure in insulting Andy about her unfashionable frumpy appearance. In this stifling and oppressive atmosphere our heroine is at the beck and call of her boss at all hours of the day or night (thanks to the cell phone), given only 15 minutes for lunch and assigned impossible tasks such as getting the new Harry Potter novel before it’s published and finding a flight out of Miami for the boss during a hurricane when all flights have been cancelled. At home Andy circulates with friends who act as a Greek chorus to sympathize with her plight and a grungy, always unshaven chef boyfriend Nate (Adrian Grenier), who is around as a plot device to remind Andy that she’s sold out her ideals and to point out to those viewers who might not have fully gotten it how far she has fallen and how hollow is the world of fashion and celebrity. Despite all the workplace hostility and losing contact with friends and live-in boyfriend, Andy hangs on for dear life and is eventually given a fashion makeover by the magazine’s resident swish Nigel (Stanley Tucci), Miranda’s art director, who becomes her protector and this allows her to get enough confidence to get over on the job.”

The narrow story predictably lets us know before the end that Andy has learned her lesson and gets back on the right track of chasing her real goals. We know that was going to emerge within 15 minutes of this film, so what we get from then on is a lustrous film that feels like reading a fashion magazine – nice to look at but not much knowledge for the person.

I remember seeing trailers for this movie when it was coming out. I thought it looked like a nice comedy, and when I saw it recently on Hulu, I enjoyed it. Sure, Andy wouldn’t get the job after seeing the way her interview went, but this is a comedy, so go with it. Also, I’m sure we all can relate to having a boss like Miranda, who Streep plays perfectly. Everyone must’ve had a boss who was difficult to work with and couldn’t please or satisfy, no matter how hard we tried, so that is very relatable. Check this movie out, as I think everyone will like it.

Surprisingly, we got a sequel this year, which came out theatrically in May but on Hulu at the end of July. It may appear strange that a cheerful comedy like “The Devil Wears Prada 2” – a continuation of the Anne Hathaway/Meryl Streep fashion magazine franchise started 20 years ago – would come out theatrically on the first movie weekend of May, typically the start of the summer movie season.

Sean P. Means asked in his review, “Isn’t the first weekend in May the time for action movies, science fiction and fantasy, you may ask. Then you look at what happens in “The Devil Wears Prada 2” and see that it’s very much a fantasy — of the wish-fulfillment variety.”

When we see Hathaway’s Any Sachs, she’s left behind Runway magazine, where she had a nightmare of an internship under the difficult Miranda Priestly 20 years earlier. We’re told Andy has had a successful career as a journalist, covering important stories all over the world, most recently for a New York newspaper.

Right when she’s about to receive a respected award, her phone notifies her – along with the phones of all her colleagues at the table, they’ve all been laid off, via text. Andy gives an acceptance speech that becomes a viral moment, as she grieves the status of American journalism.

Meanwhile, back at Runway, Miranda is dealing with a different journalistic problem. Means said, “A poorly vetted puff piece about a fast-fashion brand has blown up in her face, with the internet abuzz about the sweatshop conditions that Runway failed to report. Miranda, who has seen her extravagant budgets and print edition pages both slashed as she’s transitioned to digital content, has her back against the wall.”

The owner of the magazine corporation, Ira Ravitz, played by Tibor Feldman, decides to give Runway a credibility boost by hiring Andy as its new features editor. Irv does this without first telling Miranda just increases the tension when she meets Andy again. Andy tries to write some solid news stories, but finds getting online readers to click on the articles is a tougher challenge than she thought.

Meanwhile, Miranda has to make deals with advertisers, which is how Andy again meets up with Emily Charlton, Miranda’s former assistant and now an executive at Dior. Finishing the reunion, Andy also meets up with Runway’s long-suffering design director, Nigel Kipling, still feeling sore from Miranda’s lack of appreciation for his many talents.

Means notes, “It’s fascinating to watch director David Frankel and screenwriter Aline Brosh McKenna, both back from the first movie, use the real-life problems of today’s journalism — capricious ownership, corporate bean-counting, sacrificing credibility for clickbait — in a setting where ostentatious wealth and sequined glamour are the norm.” What’s even stranger to let audiences, who probably complained about the drive to the theaters, think about which billionaire to cheer for: Irv, Emily’s tech boyfriend (Justin Theroux) or his ex-wife (Lucy Liu).

Means pointed out, “There’s a fair amount of wit in the script, with Tucci’s Nigel again getting many of the best lines as he continues to school the surprisingly sunny Andy in both fashion and appeasing Miranda. (As a jaded old journalist, I question how enthusiastic and spunky Andy seems to be after two decades as a reporter.)”

Means continues, “But the real fun – aside from picking out the many cameo appearances and luxuriating in the playgrounds of the extremely rich — is watching Hathaway and Streep back together to spar again as the imperious Miranda and the optimistic Andy.” Hathaway appears to set the standards with Streep, and Streep seems to enjoy working to turn this impossibly difficult character into something human. Their chemistry gives “The Devil Wears Prada 2” the bubbly energy it needs.

For one of the surprising sequels that no one was expecting, this one is really good. If you loved the first one, then definitely check the sequel on Hulu. I think everyone will enjoy these movies a lot, so I give them a recommendation. You will get some laughs and see a relatable workplace, if you have worked in one. The characters are all great and I believe everyone has had a boss and/or colleagues like the ones portrayed in these films. See them to know what I mean.

Thank you for joining in on these review tonight. Stay tuned this Friday for the continuation of “Animated Environmental Movie Month.”

FernGully: The Last Rainforest

For this month, I will be looking at animated movies that focused on saving the environment. I know that I have reviewed some of the movies that focused on saving the environment, like “Atlantis: The Lost Empire,” “Pocahontas,” “Princess Mononoke,” and “Dances with Wolves.” Also, I know that those movies weren’t the first ones who had the message of saving the environment, as there are a plethora of those movies out there, but there are a few that I wanted to go over this month. Let’s get started with the 1992 animated musical, “FernGully: The Last Rainforest.”

“FernGully: The Last Rainforest” continues the fiction, so encouraging at times, that the evilest animal is Man. The story involves the rain forest being destroyed by the deforestation people, and its defense by the nymphs and fairies of the forest. Roger Ebert said in his review, “I am in favor of saving the rain forests and I am appalled by their wanton destruction, but is it not true that Man is the only animal to which it has ever occurred that murder is wrong?” Nature is the least romantic of creations. It is shown most accurately in old cartoons that show a school of fish, each one smaller than the next, lined up ready to happily eat one another. It is in the nature of every living thing to eat other living things, in one way or another, in order to survive. Ebert said, “A fern is as ruthless as my cat.”

This animated film was made by humans, not jungle plants and animals, and is thus more romantic about the flora and fauna then they would ever be about us. Ebert compared, “It takes place in the coastal rain forests of Australia, which are seen to be inhabited by little fairies like Crysta (Samantha Mathis), who looks like a Barbie doll, and Pips (Christian Slater), who looks like GI Joe.” Everyone is watched over by a wise old fairy godmother character, Magi Lune, voiced by Grace Zabriskie.

One day Crysta flies up above the trees and sees a threatening cloud of smoke on the distance (just like Pocahontas did). It soon is found out that men are cutting down the forest and carrying away the wood, and Crysta uses a spell to shrink one of the men, Zak, voiced by Jonathan Ward, to fairy size. He then falls in love with Crysta, and begins to understand why it is important to save the rain forest. The story is fleshed out with supporting characters, including a fruit bat named Batty Koda, voiced by the late Robin Williams, who has been so badly tested by human laboratories that he flies into trees all the time. There is also Hexxus, voiced by the late Tim Curry, a creature created from the smoke of the fires of destruction, who, as Ebert described, “looks like an animated surgeon general’s warning.”

The animators did a lot of their drawings on location in the rain forest, and the visuals are very pretty. The story tells an important lesson, the jungle creatures are amusing, and despite the movie not being a masterpiece, it’s nice to watch for its humor and likeability. Kids may like it. Ebert ended his review by admitting, “Every time I see a movie that sentimentalizes the rain forest as a pastoral Eden, however, I remember those fish.”

Currently, you can see this film on YouTube, Tubi, Pluto TV, Amazon Prime, Roku, CW, and PLEX, so you have your options. I first saw Nostalgia Critic and Nostalgia Chick’s joint review of this film, but it took a long time after that review to watch the film. I think this is a nice film and it does have the right message to children, but I don’t know how many people will like this. Sure, this isn’t a great animated movie, but I still think this is watchable and is fine enough. Check it out and see for yourself and judge it based on your own thoughts. Don’t let anyone convince you otherwise. If you don’t like it, I can understand why. This is still a nice kids film that has the right message that is still relevant today.

I was surprised to find out that this film had a sequel, which I will look at next week in “Animated Environmental Movie Month.”

The Punisher

Jonathan Hensleigh’s “The Punisher” was one of the enjoyable films of 2004. Chuck O’Leary mentioned in this review, “Based on the Marvel comic that was borne out of the mid-70s heyday of Bronson and violent revenge movies in general, this second big-screen version of The Punisher is not only an infinite improvement over the awful 1989 film adaptation starring Dolph Lundgren, but also one of the best films ever to be based on a comic book.”

O’Leary credited, “Unlike most modern-day movies with comic-book origins, co-writer and first-time director Hensleigh doesn't get carried away with CGI and incessant quick cutting, instead setting out to make a grittier, darker and tougher tale done in the more traditional and hard-edged style of action filmmakers like Sam Peckinpah, Don Siegel and Walter Hill.  Hensleigh definitely succeeds, and handles things with the sure hand of an old pro.”

The film was originally written to start with a prologue set in Kuwait City during Operation Desert Storm in 1991, but the scene was removed before filming began after told to be too expensive for a film with a $30 million budget, which is a very modest amount for an action film today. However, when an extended edition was made, Hensleigh went back with illustrators and stars Thomas Jane and Russell Andrews to create an animated version of the segment that sets up a subplot almost completely removed from the theatrical version.

When we first meet Frank Castle, played by Thomas Jane, he’s the heroic soldier of the Special Forces Unit during the ’91 Gulf War. After returning from the war, both Castle and his military friend, Jimmy Weeks, played by Russell Andrews, become FBI agents.

While working undercover as a South African arms dealer, Castle successfully fakes his own death during a sting operation so he can retire with his wife (Samantha Mathis) and his son (Marcus Johns). However, during that sting operations, the twin sons (James Carpinello) of a Tampa-area crime lord, Howard Saint (John Travolta), are killed. Along with his vengeful wife, played by Laura Harring, Saint immediately plans to find the man responsible for murdering his twins.

By misusing Weeks’ secret gambling addiction, Saint finds out Castle’s real identity as The Castle Family is vacationing in Puerto Rico. Soon Saint’s men crash the family reunion and kill almost everybody. O’Leary said, “The massacre wipes out Castle's entire family, and by entire I mean not just his wife, son, father (Roy Scheider) and mother, but aunts, uncles and cousins too.” However, Castle somehow survives even though he was shot three times and was blown out to sea, which shows no chance of surviving, but this is a comic book adaptation.

Castle then recovers over the course of several months with the help of a fisherman on a remote island, played by Veryl Jones. When he returns to where his family was massacred, he finds some guns and a T-Shirt with a skull on the front that his son gave him as a gift. The skull becomes the sign of Castle’s vigilante as he tracks those responsible for murdering his family and punish them.

O’Leary said, “That Castle seeks revenge is not surprising, but he goes about doing it in ways that are a lot more imaginative than usual in such a vengeance-is-mine movie.  This one also has a surprisingly sharp script with a lot of nice off-beat touches; one of my favorites involves a scene where a Johnny Cash-looking assassin named Harry Heck (real-life Country & Western singer Mark Collie) hired to eliminate Castle walks into a diner where Castle is eating and sings him a little ditty he wrote especially for the occasion.”

Another good part is the uncertain friendship that is made between Castle and three other outcasts living in the rundown building where Castle moves in to. Living down the hall is Joan (Rebecca Romijn), then there’s Dave (Ben Foster), who has so many facial piercings, and his obese sidekick, Bumpo (John Pinette). The friendship of these four outcasts is strangely liking and gives this intense revenge thriller some sudden heart.

Villains are always another important part to action films, and Travolta’s serious performance is way more effective than the way he played the villains in John Woo’s “Broken Arrow” and “Face/Off.” Will Patton plays Saint’s dangerous right-hand man and he steals every scene he’s in, again showing he’s skilled at evil understatement.

O’Leary credited, “The down-to-earth villainy of Travolta and Patton contrasts nicely with exaggerated characteristics of two secondary hit-men heavies, the aforementioned singing contract killer and a massive hulk called the Russian (pro wrestler Kevin Nash, formerly Diesel of the WWF), who has an over-the-top fight scene with Castle that plays like a great wrestling match.”

“The Punisher” is a grim, violent film about an anti-hero who doesn’t care whether he lives or dies because a large part of him was murdered. We the part where Frank Castle died spiritually. This is a well-planned, well-shot (cinematographer Conrad W. Hall), and intense film, and Hensleigh does a good job of balancing the serious action with dark humor, while still giving enough important character moments. O’Leary pointed out, “He also finds just the right exaggerated, yet not-too-exaggerated tone for the material.  And harking back to the likes of Death Wish and Dirty Harry, the film is refreshing in this age of cockamamie political correctness in the un-PC way it appeals to the righteousness of viewers who want to see innocence protected, evil defeated and the guilty to suffer.”

I didn’t get to see this movie in the theaters with my siblings, but my brother liked the ending of the film where Castle is on the cable-stayed bridge. I did hear my cousins praise this movie and it is good, which is why I don’t understand why critics thrashed it when it came out. Don’t listen to the critics, see the movie and judge for yourself.

There were talks of a sequel, which I would have loved, but instead we got the 2008 reboot, “Punisher: War Zone.”

You used to be able to depend on a bad film being poorly made, but not anymore. Roger Ebert credited in his review, ““The Punisher: War Zone” is one of the best-made bad movies I’ve seen. It looks great, it hurtles through its paces and is well-acted. The soundtrack is like elevator music if the elevator were in a death plunge. The special effects are state of the art.” The only problem is that it’s disgusting.

Ebert said, “There’s a big audience for disgusting, and I confidently predict the movie will “win the weekend,” if not very many hearts and minds.” Here you will see a man’s kidney ripped out and eaten, a chair leg pushed through a head by the eyeball, a roomful of men murdered by the Punisher revolving upside-down from a chandelier and firing machine-guns with both hands, and widow and her little girl threatened with chaos, heads decapitated, victims impaled and pierced, and the villain thrown into a machine that breaks glass bottles in the same way concrete is mixed.

Ebert admitted, “The glass-crushing machine caught my eye.” Billy (Dominic West) is thrown into it by the Punisher (Ray Stevenson) and revolves up to his neck in cutting edges while screaming a handful of four-letter words, which given the situation, are appropriate.

Ebert then said, “What confused me is that nearby in the same factory, there is a conveyor belt carrying large lumps of hamburger or something. I expected Billy to emerge as ground round, but then I thought, how much ground glass can you really add to ground round? It’s not often that you see meat processing and bottle crushing done in adjacent operations in the same factory. I was looking for the saltwater taffy mixer.”

Billy survives his situation and announces to his henchmen, “From now on, my name is Jigsaw.” This is after he has surgery, apparently only through minutes by the movie’s timeline, to fix his face with twine. Ebert described, “He now looks like the exhibit in the entrance lobby of the Texas Chainsaw Museum, and one eye looks painfully introspective.”

The movie is not heavy on plot. Ebert said, “By my Timex Indiglo, there was no meaningful exposition at all during the first 15 minutes, just men getting slaughtered.” Then things slow down enough to reveal that Frank Castle or the Punisher, who avenged the murder of his family in the previous film, has now killed FBI agent Nicky Donatelli (Romano Orzari), Angela’s (Julie Benz) husband and Grace’s (Stephanie Janusauskas) father, who will Never Be Able to Forgive Him for What He’s Done, which she shouldn’t, but she will.

The film was shot in Montreal, but is set in New York, which has a small population with only good and bad guys and not much of anybody else. Ebert admitted, “I’d get out, too. It’s the kind of violence the president should fly over in Air Force One and regard sadly through the window. It goes without saying that the bad guys are unable to shoot the Punisher with their machineguns. That’s consistent with the epidemic of malfunctioning machineguns in all recent super-violent films.” However, the Punisher kills a handful of henchmen with his machine guns, while spinning upside-down under the chandelier.

Ebert asked, “Now pause to think with me. Everyone around the table is heavily armed. More armed men bust in through the door. The revolving Punisher is suspended in the center of the room. Because of the logic of the laws of physical motion, most of the time, he is shooting away from any individual bad guy. How can they possibly miss hitting him? It’s so hard these days, getting good help.”

“Punisher: War Zone” is the third in the Punisher movies. It follows the 1989 “The Punisher” starring Dolph Lundgren (which I have never seen) and the 2004 film starring Jane and Travolta. Since those two films have the same title, it’s hard to tell them apart, but why would you want to? Ebert ended his review by saying, “My fellow critic Bill Stamets, settling down for the screening, shared with me that he watched the 2004 movie for his homework. I did my algebra.”

I don’t know if I can recommend this film, as I can’t recall if that left an impact on me that I could remember. I cannot remember exactly what happened, but maybe it was one of those forgettable films. However, since the Punisher came back with the Netflix series and the MCU, I think we should hopefully see the character again soon. Still, if you want to see these films, I can say watch the 2004 film, but I don’t know about “Punisher: War Zone.”

Thank you for joining in on “Wrestlers in Movies Month.” I hope everyone enjoyed and stay tuned next month to see what I have in store for everyone.

The Sheep Detectives

Today on Amazon Prime, I finished watching “The Sheep Detectives,” which came out theatrically in May but on Prime in June. I believe my cousin and sister were saying they were interested in seeing the movie in the theaters, but we didn’t go see it. Out of curiosity, I decided to see it on Prime after hearing people say it was funny. What did I think after seeing it?

Gissane Sophia started her review by saying, “It’s a good year when we get movies like Remarkably Bright Creatures and The Sheep Detectives at the same time. If there’s one type of emotional draw we’ll never say no to when it comes to the fiction we consume, it’s wholesome.” The kind of movies and TV shows that leave you with a little more hope than you would think. The type of stories that make you believe that humanity isn’t as torn as it seems.

Sophia said, “The Sheep Detectives is essentially tailor-made for anyone who loves a good whodunnit that’s rich with nuance and humor. The clever decision to shift the genre into something both kids and adults could appreciate together is no small feat, and that’s largely where its mass appeal lies. Murder is a heavy subject to deal with—as is grief—yet this story makes sitting with the weight of both a little easier. It could kickstart a number of thoughtful conversations while it simultaneously delivers plenty of laughs along the way.”

For adults, there’s also a huge demand in the casting – the voice actors especially. Sophia said, “Anyone who knows me knows that Ted Lasso is the kind of show I’ll always put first, so hearing Brett Goldstein voice a sheep is the kind of A+ decision that’s effortless to appreciate.” Hugh Jackman, Nicholas Galitzine, Molly Gordon, Nicholas Braun, Emma Thompson, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Bryan Cranston, Bella Ramsey, Regina Hall, Rhys Darby, Patrick Stewart, Hong Chau, and the whole cast do an amazing job as well, making every moment of “The Sheep Detectives” completely entertaining.

It's hard to think anyone coming out of the movie not thinking it’s one of the best films we’ll see all year, and that’s a huge compliment seeing 2026 is full of greats like “Project Hail Mary” and “The Odyssey,” which I will see when it comes to streaming. This is the exact kind of movie we could all see, but more than anything, the kind of story we could use more of. Sophia asked, “If there’s any sort of sequel, sign me up. Let’s make it a trilogy. Give us more of the sheep.”

The cinematography is beautiful, the writing is top, the performances are exciting, and the message is one that you must hold onto. “The Sheep Detectives” is the type of feel-good film that does an excellent job of reminding us why movies like this will always matter. There’s a sincere message about how grief is meant to be shared and why it’s so important to hold on to those who’ve passed with us. Sophia said, “Yes, it’d be convenient to forget our pain by sheer mental willpower, but we aren’t meant to do that. As humans and as animals, I imagine that the good, bad, and ugly are all part of what makes life beautiful, and that’s a comforting message to sit with.”

Sophia continued, “The concept of a whodunnit featuring sheep solving a murder sounds so wild on paper, yet everything about it results in the kind of movie that should signal to Hollywood we want more creative approaches to what’s familiar. There’s a reason The Muppets are so popular, and we shouldn’t be afraid of making things that sound a bit too whimsical on paper.” To put it another way, “The Sheep Detectives” accepts the oddity, and that’s why this is made so delightful.

You should definitely see this on Prime. You will love this movie, as it is entertaining, funny, and for those who love a good mystery, this one will play with your deductive reasoning. It makes you feel like you’re watching the old Scooby-Doo cartoons or playing the Clue board game, but those of you who are able to guess what happens early on, then you are really good at finding out who’s guilty. Still, this is one of those heartwarming films that everyone will love and see, especially when it comes to accepting everyone.

Thank you for joining in on this review tonight. Stay tuned tomorrow for the finale of “Wrestlers in Movies Month.”

Mr. Nanny

The late Hulkster came back, now credited as Terry “Hulk” Hogan, in the 1993 film, “Mr. Nanny.”

Chris Hicks asked in his review, “Remember when Lou Gossett became Louis Gosset Jr. for "Roots" — and then all his credits thereafter. Could it be that Hogan is so proud of "Mr. Nanny" that he's decided to use his real first name from now on?”

This isn’t “Roots.”

“Mr. Nanny” is a stupid children’s film that copies the formula better done in “Mr. Mom,” “Home Alone,” and any other of the countless copies.

Even though Hogan made a surprisingly interesting role in “Suburban Commando,” here he is stiff, distant, and less charming as a retired wrestler who unwillingly becomes a bodyguard to a strange inventor (Max from “The Muppet Movie,” Austin Pendleton), only to realize that he’s really been hired to babysit his pestering children (Robert Gorman from “The Leprechaun” and Madeline Zima).

Hicks mentioned, “But before we blame Hogan too much, let's acknowledge that "Mr. Nanny" is an arch and unfunny film, amateurishly written and directed by Michael Gottlieb ("Mannequin"). Even the veterans here look uncomfortable.”

The story has Hogan becoming a bodyguard as a favor to his former manager, played by George Jefferson from “All in the Family” and “The Jeffersons,” the late Sherman Hemsley. The job is to protect Pendleton, who has a microchip that works on an anti-missile, called “The Peacemaker.”

The villain, played by David Johansen, who has a metal plate on his head – thanks to a fight with Hogan and Hemsley long before – is after the chip, and, you guessed it, he’s not above kidnapping Pendleton’s children to get it.

Now Hogan becomes the kids’ “nanny,” and is the victim of the pranks have made the other nannies quit, including a bowling ball that falls out of a closet and lands on his head, trip wires that send him trampling down a flight of stairs and get electrocuted when he steps out of a shower.

One device, an exploding wallet, is thought as so good by Gottlieb that he uses it three times.

For his part, Hogan is all for the pratfalls, walking into doors – and even wearing a tutu and curlers in his hair.

Hicks said, “But the film is predictable sludge, lacking energy and laughs, and the "comic" mayhem isn't particularly recommendable for the kiddies.”

Jo Anne Hart, who you might know better as Mother Love, the original host of the daytime syndicated talk show, “Forgive or Forget,” is in here as the maid.

The jokes in here don’t work and this is just another bad film of a bodybuilder who has to look after bratty children. This is a terrible film. I’m not kidding, it’s that bad. I made the mistake of watching this after I saw Nostalgia Critic’s review of it, and I regret that decision. I have no idea why I would watch this bad movie, especially seeing how bad it looked through the review. This is not a film I would want anyone to watch because they would not find this funny at all. Why would the children be setting up traps around the house for Hogan? Did they think it was funny? Were they trying to make him leave because they thought they could defend themselves? They are children, they are not old enough to defend themselves. Just look at the part where the boy has to face the bullies at school. Just because “Home Alone” was popular, there Culkin is defending himself against burglars. Here, Hogan is there to defend them, there is no reason for them to set up traps. These are sick children because they are trying to be murderers, I think. These kids should be locked up and have they key thrown away.

What was Hogan thinking? Wait a minute…I don’t think he was thinking. For a professional wrestler turned host of “American Gladiators,” this was a bad film for him to star in. Just because he thought the last film he did might have been bad doesn’t mean that it would make the next film good. Just look closely at the script before making a decision. That goes for anyone who has made bad films. I know I shouldn’t say this, seeing how Hogan passed not too long ago, but he did leave behind some films that he shamefully starred in, so what can we do? Just don’t watch this.

Next week, I will be finishing “Wrestlers in Movies Month” with an actually good comic book adaptation that I don’t really hear anyone talk about.

Suburban Commando

You know what’s strange about trailers to movies that are coming out? They may or may not be a correct look of the movies they advertise – but they’re almost always the right guide to what the movie the makers wanted to make. For example, look at “Suburban Commando,” released in 1991, where the trailers looks like a crazy comic thriller through sci-fi and the suburbs, and in the movie, it looks more like a trail.

Roger Ebert stated in his review, “This is the second feature starring Hulk Hogan, the man who looks like a comic strip hero. Hogan’s range is limited, but not as limited as the movies he’s appeared in. Despite the fact that his public image is often aimed at children – there’s a whole line of Hulk Hogan toys – his first film, “No Holds Barred” (1989) was surprisingly violent, sexist and blood-soaked.” Now we have “Suburban Commando,” which is harmless, but it gives Hogan so little to do that his fans may think why he agreed to do this film.

The movie starts off in space, where Hogan plays Shep Ramsey, an intergalactic bounty hunter. (Ebert asked, “Ever wonder, by the way, how much of a bounty they’d have to pay to finance an intergalactic hunt?”) After a fight with his nemesis Suitor, played by William Bell, Ramsey damages his ship and lands on Earth, where he quickly lives with the rather eccentric Wilcox family.

Charlie Wilcox (Christopher Lloyd) and his wife Jenny (the late Shelley Duvall) don’t think that Ramsey is actually from space. Ebert asks, “I mean, why should they? If Hulk Hogan turned up at your door, where would you think he looked like he was from, aside from the funny pages?” However, Charlie is some kind of an inventor (anyone else thought of “Back to the Future?”), and after he looks into Ramsey’s ship there is a lot of nonsense with humans getting stuck int eh middle of a fight between beings from other planets.

Ebert ended his review by saying, “Somebody was asking the other day, do I ever get tired of going to the movies? Naw, I said, I love movies and so some days it’s not really a job, it’s more of a lucky break. But I wasn’t feeling lucky the day I saw “Suburban Commando,” and you know what? By golly, by the time it was over, I was feeling kind of tired of going to the movies.”

Michael Faustino and Laura Mooney play the Wilcox children, Larry Miller plays Charlie’s boss, and Mark Calaway aka The Undertaker makes his feature film debut in this film. This film was originally meant for Arnold Schwarzenegger and Danny DeVito with the title “Urban Commando,” but when they both decided to star in “Twins,” New Line Cinema bought the script as the follow-up to “No Holds Barred,” which I have never seen.

I saw this movie sometime after I saw the Nostalgia Critic’s review of the movie, which I shouldn’t have done, but I do agree with what he said about the film. This is mostly a stupid movie, but at least there was a laugh here and there, but not like a bust out laughing moment. However, the funniest part of the movie is when Ramsey and Charlie have an argument, and Charlie says one of the funniest out-of-context lines, “I WAS FROZEN TODAY!” I think I should use that line next time when I’m in the middle of an argument to see what the reaction will be. Still, you shouldn’t see this movie because it is just stupid and you will beat yourself up for putting this on. Just avoid it.

One more flaw I have to point out, which I think everyone has pointed out when watching this film, is when Ramsey walks into an arcade and sees a kid playing a game, the kid is constantly saying that he is fighting a space villain by the name of Dragos. However, the game he was playing was a 1987 jet combat game released by Sega, After Burner, which had nothing to do with aliens, phasers, photon torpedoes, or anything science fiction related. I have never played or heard of the game until Nostalgia Critic pointed it out in his review, but when you watch that scene, you will know that it is clearly a jet combat game and not a game about space aliens.

Next week, I will be looking another terrible Hogan movie in “Wrestlers in Movies Month.”

Masters of the Universe

Today on Amazon Prime, I finished “Masters of the Universe,” and I thought that before talking about this recent film, I should probably give my thoughts on the 1987 film of the same name, even though it was not a direct sequel or had any sort of connection with either film.

The 1987 “Masters of the Universe” film is a failing, underdone mess that takes its inspiration from a toy line and the cartoon series that I wasn’t around for at the time, but I do have a VHS that has a couple of “He-Man” episodes on them.

Michael Wilmington said in his review, “Unfortunately, the film might have worked better with the cartoon characters in the leads. Or even the toys. You couldn’t get a more polyethylene performance than Dolph Lundgren gives. As He-Man, his muscles ripple splendidly in barbarian dishabille, but his voice, with its growly bass Swedish accent, becomes nearly inaudible when he screams.”

The other characters include Evil-Lyn (Meg Foster), Man-at-Arms (Jon Cypher), Beastman (Tony Carroll), and Karg (Robert Towers), with Frank Langella as Skeletor – the villain of the planet Eternia.

Immediately you can see what’s wrong with the movie. Wilmington said, “Where, in “Star Wars,” the original characters were turned into toys--and everything else possible--here the writers reverse the process. And since these toys are superstars, the script tries to remain “faithful” to some curious vision of them.”

Wilmington continued, ““Masters” begins in the throne room of Castle Greyskull, where Skeletor is throwing stentorian conniption fits, eventually driving He-Man and three buddies to escape, via a synthesizer called The Key, through some handy time-space warp into Colby, Calif.” There, they encounter two teenagers (Courteney Cox and Robert Duncan McNeill) and a laughably loud cop (the late James Tolkan). Not soon after, half of Eternia has followed them.

Of the two locations, Colby is more amazing. Wilmington said, “Most of the town seems to have been plunged into some weird hibernation. The commando squads of Eternia descend and nobody takes a peek. The school burns down, a small war breaks out in the stereo shop, yet the same kind of languid disinterest reigns. At the end--with holocausts of Richard Edlund effects erupting, Langella screaming his head off, UFOs floating overhead, laser rays exploding every which way and a small army of Darth Vaders tromping down Main Street--not one person in this bizarre town even bothers to come out and gape.”

Wilmington continued, “Director Gary Goddard gets a raw, pulpy vigor into some of this, but mostly he’s directing hopeless material shamelessly. Billy Barty, though, gives you a reason to watch this movie--along with Langella who, even though he’s chewing the scenery through what seems to be a Halloween skeleton mask, chews it with relish.”

Wilmington ended his review by saying, “Barty’s Gwildor is a rambunctious little kvetch of a gnome, a wizened Hobbit who needs a panatela--and he’s about the only thing here you’d like to take home for the kids to play with.”

Even though I never watched the “He-Man and the Masters of the Universe” cartoon, this film is just terrible. It’s one of those 80s films that no one should watch. Why cast Dolph Lundgren as He-Man? They couldn’t have found another actor? There are times you can’t tell of Lundgren has an accent or not. Just avoid this movie because you will not like it at all, especially with how they made Skeletor look.

But what can be said about the second adaptation, which came out in June, but on Amazon Prime last month.

Based on the Mattel toy line and the 80s animated show, this new film is the second live-action adaptation of the franchise, after the 1987 film starring Dolph Lundgren as He-Man. In this version, Prince Adam, played by Artie Wilkinson-Hunt, spends his childhood training on his home planet of Eternia, where magic and technology exist together peacefully. The core of the planet is Castle Grayskull, where Adam and his parents, the king and earth-born queen, played by James Purefoy and Charlotte Riley, live. Adam is small for his age and not very skilled at any type of combat, despite the king’s man-at-arms, Duncan (Idris Elba), is his personal trainer and his best friend Teela (Eire Farrell as a child, Camila Mendes as an adult) is one of the best in his class.

When Adam is 10 years old, Eternia is invaded by Skeletor (Jared Leto), and Adam is forced to escape the planet with the help of the magical Sorceress (Morena Baccarin), the guardian of Castle Grayskull. He ends up on Earth, where he becomes Adam Green, now played by Nicholas Galitzine, and grows up over the span of 15 years to become an HR specialist and very talented at non-violent conflict resolution. When he was sent to Earth, Adam was to watch the Power Sword that holds all of the power of Eternia, but he lost it almost immediately and spends the entire time he’s on Earth searching for it. When he does eventually find it, he uses it to get back to Eternia, where he hopes to bring it back to the way it was. While growing up on Earth, Adam always remembered home by drawing people from his past and naming them based on their abilities, like Mekaneck (James Wilkinson), Fisto (Jóhannes Haukur Jóhannesson), Trap Jaw (Sam C. Wilson), and Ram-Man (Jon Xue Zhang) - Steve Prokopy said in his review, “the originality of these names is laughable, but wisely, the film acknowledges that they were the creation of a young, unformed mind.”

Once he’s back on Eternia, Adam finds his real power inside of him and turns into He-Man, a name he doesn’t mention until the very end of the film, thankfully. Prokopy said, “The back half of Masters of the Universe becomes an exercise in Adam rediscovering who he was and what it truly means to be the most powerful man in existence. Adam’s parents are still alive, and he does what he can to save them. There’s a robot (named Roboto) voiced by Kristen Wiig, a talking green tiger (Fletcher Glenn and Tom Wilton), and an evil sorceress working with Skeletor named Evil-Lyn (Alison Brie), who also poses as a mentor to younger Adam on Earth, although I’m not sure I could tell you why. The action sequences are chunky, loud, and more violent than I was expecting (a plus), and the colorful production design and costuming pop off the screen with a brilliance far more than that of established film franchises. The score by Daniel Pemberton offers up some solid guitar stabs from Queen’s Brian May, and keep an ear out for a well-known Queen song, perfectly placed.”

Without giving too much away about the elements of “Masters of the Universe” that feel obsolete or hands down corny, director Travis Knight still finds ways to acknowledge that parts of the He-Man world are silly. Prokopy said, “I love the idea that most of the character names come from Adam as a child—it’s the only explanation I’ll accept or that makes sense.”

Galitzine gets more interesting with each new role. As Adam, he’s mostly successful at showing the character’s grief from being separated from his home and family as a child, while still trying to find out about his abilities as He-Man and how they relate to heritage, inner confidence, and responsibility. Prokopy ended his review by saying, “Naturally, it wouldn’t be a tentpole movie without strong hints that more is to come (assuming this one makes some cash), and even I understood the tease in the mid-credits scene, despite having not grown up with these characters or shows in my life. I could tell from the crowd reaction around me that many of the references were landing with precision, and so, let the summer nostalgia parade begin.”

Dolph Lundgren makes a cameo in this movie as a “Macho Man” Adam meets in the gym, and Lauren Saliu appears in the mid-credits scene, teasing a possible spin-off film that is in the same universe, along with Christopher Ragland as Orko. In all honesty, this film is alright. If you want to see this on Amazon Prime, you can, and I think you will like this just fine. There’s nothing about this film that I think of that is terrible or would be a pain to see, so I don’t think anyone will really hate it. This is just a decent film that everyone could watch, regardless of whether they are familiar with the cartoon or not.

Thank you for joining in on this review tonight. Stay tuned tomorrow for the continuation of “Wrestlers in Movies Month.”