Fantastic Four (2005)

Now I believe the time is appropriate to review all the Fantastic Four adaptations. In case anyone is wondering, no I am not going to review the horrible B-movie from the 90s. I haven’t seen that one, just like I haven't seen the horrible 90s “Captain America” B-movie, so instead I will jump straight to 2005 to the “Fantastic Four” movie that I saw in the theaters with my brother.

Jules Brenner started his review off by saying, “Employing a formative approach to superhero-dom, another comic strip from the minds of Stan Lee and Jack Kirby hits the celluloid. And, if Lee and Kirby know anything, it is that every superhero needs individuality, however artificially contrived.”

To start off, a scientist named Reed Richards (Ioan Gruffudd) and his scientist friend and advisor Ben Grimm (Michael Chiklis from “The Shield”) who need funding for an outer space experiment involving a cosmic storm whose radiation has DNA altering applications here on Earth. The idea is to hit into some of it. Brenner stated, “But NASA, the natural funder for spatial spectaculars, ain't buyin'.” Then, Richards is forced to go face-to-face with his billionaire enemy in the scientific-industrial world, strongly named Victor von Doom, played by “Nip/Tuck” star, Julian McMahon.

This guy’s footprint in the financial universe is large enough to include his own private orbit, space station included. Brenner added, “But, as with many outsize self-made men, he's got megalomaniacal visions of greater wealth, power and domination of all he beholds, none of which is a match for his vanity and tendency to glorify himself every chance he gets.” However, he didn’t get where he is standing on by being stupid, so he offers the desperate Richards a mere 25% and calls the mission his own, which he then uses to impress the comely genetic researcher in his use, Sue Storm, played by Jessica Alba. This slim bit of sensual flame is Richard’s ex-girlfriend, and she’s still got eyes for him.

Thinking the odds are ever in his favor, Von Doom puts a diamond ring in Storm’s face after amazing her on his space ship with Earth revolving outside the windows. What paramour could ask for a more appropriate setting for going down on his knee to ask for someone’s hand in marriage? Before he asks, the mission goes disastrous. Brenner mentions, “Can you believe it, the gauges are off and they're miles closer to the radiation maelstrom than they thought, proving NASA's good judgement in not investing in these clowns.” With no chance to think that piece, the space adventurers, with Ben outside on a space walk in his EV suit, suddenly find themselves tangled in the radiation field. Ben gets the worst of it but they barely escape and return to Earth.

They’re all relieved to be alive from what looked like certain death. However, things start to happen to their genetic encoding and each one finds out they have a certain power. Richards can stretch his limbs, Storm can make herself invisible (but not her clothes, so it’s a problem) and generate a protective shield, her reckless younger brother Johnny Storm, played by Chris Evans, can turn into a fireman and can nuke his surroundings with the BTU’s of the sun and fly like a glowing missile, and then there’s the likable Ben.

For this newly empowered quartet, he’s transformed into an 800 pound, armor-plated pebble man and the only one who can’t turn back into his normal self. He’s also the saddest and suffers the strongest regrets over his change, power notwithstanding. Brenner mentioned, “To fuel his Dostoevskian depression, his new umber-colored armadillo look is too much for his disloyal wife, who returns his wedding ring just when he needs her most.”

Brenner stated, “So, this comprises the team of good guys, the "Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer" and, as every comic book reader knows, a supervillain is as necessary to superheroes as a defendant to a prosecutor--they're nothing without one.” In this one, there’s Von Doom, who has now obtained a new level of insanely ugliness along with good reason for his name. A small injury on his face turns into a titanium scar that grows along with his power to discharge bolts of high-energy voltage that could light the city or melt an enemy. In the situation of a superhero, it’s enough to injure, at the very least.

Two supporting roles stand out. Brenner said, “Hamish Linklater ("Final Draft") as Von Doom's "assistant" Leonard creates his own unctuously efficient enabler that calls to mind Stryker, Dracula's demonic "arranger."” Also, Kerry Washington as Ben’s blind, black, understanding beauty and new companion is worth seeing more of.

With such a volume of CGI effects variation, director Tim Story and co-writers Michael France and Mark Frost hope to light a new franchise in the comic book-to-movie universe, utilizing the trick of a modest beginning. The casting is largely TV people, the dialogue is pale but serviceable, and the inspiration slightly below Johnny’s glowing. Maybe the attraction of a sympathetic strong man, a funny, irresponsible youngster of a super-BIC, a scientist flexible enough to win a girl, and a girl whose dimensions men dream about might just have the potential for more amounts of friendly action fantasy. Consider the sequel inevitable.

I understand that people may not like it, but I read the first Fantastic Four comic by Mark Waid, Mike Wieringo and Karl Kesel, so I am familiar with the origin. Maybe people thought it didn’t follow it too well or that they just lounged around and there wasn’t enough action, but maybe the point to this was the character development. Then again, I still like this movie for the amount of family fun it brought.

How is the sequel? Check in next week to find out.