The Munsters

Today, I finished watching “The Munsters” reboot, which came out on Netflix two weeks ago. I just would like to point out that I never saw anything “The Munsters” related, but my brother said that they were the polar opposite from “The Addams Family.” Where “The Addams Family” was a family that looked normal but wasn’t, “The Munsters” didn’t look like a normal family, but they were. Now we have this reboot that Rob Zombie made. I have listened to a couple of Rob Zombie’s songs and I love them, but his movies are hit and miss. I only saw his “Halloween” remakes, so you know what I think of those. However, how did he do with this reboot?

For better or for worse, Rob Zombie’s feature-length version of “The Munsters” is just what you would think. Alyse Wax said in her review, “It’s not quite as bad as I expected… but it’s not great. Based on the 1960s TV show of the same name, it still maintains much of the classic goofiness and kitsch, but with an extended length that is tiresome.”

An “origin story” for the newbies, the film starts before Lily (Rob Zombie’s wife, Sheri Moon Zombie) meets Herman (Jeff Daniel Phillips). She is still living in her Transylvania castle with her father, the Count, played by Daniel Roebuck (old school fans will know him as Grandpa). She goes on a date with Mr. Orlock, played by Richard Brake, who unsurprisingly looks like Nosferatu, but he doesn’t impress Lily in any way. Meanwhile, a mad scientist, Dr. Wolfgang (Brake), and his wretched helper Floop (Jorge Garcia) create a Frankenstein’s monster-looking being, whom Floop names Herman Munster (“Like the cheese”). He was supposed to be created with the brain of the smartest man in the world (Laurent Winkler), but instead, he was created with the brain of the dumbest man in the world, his brother Shecky (Phillips), a terrible stand-up comedian. This explains Herman’s non-stop inventory of dad jokes.

Anyway, Wolfgang shows his creation off on TV, Lily sees Herman, and it’s love at first sight. She goes to find him at a club, where Floop is trying to turn him into a rock star. It is love at first sight for Herman as well, and after a series of romantic dates, the two get hitched. Before the wedding, however, Lily’s troublemaker brother, a werewolf named Lester (Thomas Boykin), shows up and gets Herman to sign over the deed to the castle to pay off his gambling debts to Zoya (Catherine Schell), a gypsy who used to be married to the Count.

Wax noted, “And that’s about it. There is no real conflict. There are no stakes. I have a lot of problems with this as a “movie.” It just kept going. The ending felt so abrupt. It’s the kind of thing that you don’t realize is so bereft of conflict or twists until you are summarizing it, and you get to the end and realize that you are still basically describing what, in most films, would be act one.”

“The Munsters” could have easily been shorter. It’s filled with lots of superfluous scenes, many of which are short and poorly edited to make a trembling narrative. For instance, there is a part where the Count tries to create the perfect man for Lily when he doesn’t like Herman, but he messes up the spell and makes a chimp-man. The whole scene is about five minutes, with no payoff and no point. Wax said, “The whole Zoya/Lester side story feels like it was forced in to give a reason behind the move from Transylvania, but without any real payoff. And frankly, I don’t remember Lily ever having a brother Lester in the TV show. I assume this was to set the story that she has the DNA to have a werewolf baby when she and Herman eventually have Eddie… but it doesn’t actually account for where the werewolf DNA to have Lester came from!”

Wax continued, “Forgetting all the narrative mumbo-jumbo and structural things that we normally look for in a film, there are some good things about The Munsters.” For instance, it is visually beautiful to look at. Ever scene is filled with neon lights of blue, red, green, and purple. Not thinly, either. These colors work for the over-the-top set design, with every corner of every scene filled with scary props or smart signage. Under almost anyone else, it would be overwhelming, but somehow, Zombie makes it all work. Maybe it is all the colors. It makes everything seem almost like a comic book.

Wax admitted, “I found Sheri Moon Zombie as Lily to be fine; nothing special, but not terrible. Daniel Roebuck was similarly fine as the Count; he wasn’t as jokey as TV’s Grandpa. The true standout, however, was Jeff Daniel Phillips as Herman. He was as goofy and doofy as the Herman I grew up with on TV, and he had dad jokes that made me laugh out loud. He was the perfect Herman Munster.” A special shout-out has to be made for horror queen Cassandra Peterson, who was enjoyable as the Munster’s realtor, and Dee Wallace who had a small part as a TV announcer. Original cast members Butch Patrick (who played Eddie) and Pat Priest (who played Marilyn) had voiceover cameos in the film as well.

In the end, “The Munsters” is not a good movie. However, it is great feed to put on in the background of a Halloween party. It is best when used as a visual delight. Something you may only want to see a couple of minutes of dialogue from, but in the end, it’s best left as background pictures.

I didn’t really like this when I saw it. Some of the lines and parts had me scratching my head thinking what they were doing. I don’t think this should have been done the way it did, but I didn’t make this. I think I will easily forget about this movie, since it didn’t leave an impact, so check it out if you want on Netflix.

Thank you for joining in on my review today. Stay tuned Friday for the continuation of “M. Night Shyamalan” Month.