Quantum of Solace

Let’s jump right in and say to James Bond that he better not let this happen again. “Quantum of Solace,” released in 2008, is his 22^nd film and he will survive it, but for the 23^rd, they better go back to the storyboards and remake everything from step one. One important fact: “James Bond is not an action hero!” He is too good for that. He is a behavior. Violence is irritating for him. He’s there for the foreplay and the smoking. He once in a while meets a truly evil villain. Roger Ebert mentioned, “More often a comic opera buffoon with hired goons in matching jump suits.”

Ebert said, “"Quantum of Solace" has the worst title in the series save for "Never Say Never Again," words that could have been used by Kent after King Lear utters the saddest line in all of Shakespeare: "Never! Never! Never! Never! Never!" The movie opens with Bond involved in a reckless car chase on the tollway that leads through mountain tunnels from Nice through Monte Carlo and down to Portofino in Italy, where Edward Lear lies at rest with his cat, Old Foss. I have driven that way many a time. It is a breathtaking drive.”

You won’t see that here. The chase, with Bond constantly being shot at with machineguns, is so swiftly and so obviously made up of unintelligible CGI that we’re mainly looking at bright colors flying around each other, cut together with Bond at the steering wheel and POV shots of fast driving monster trucks. Let’s think this together. When has an action hero ever, even once, been killed by a machinegun bullet, despite how many rounds have been fired? The hit men should just drop that and say, “No can do, Boss. They never work in this kind of movie.”

The chase has nothing to do with the rest of the story, which is usual for Bond, but it’s about the movie’s last look at tradition. In “Quantum of Solace” he will have not relaxing quality time with the Bond girl, played by Olga Kurylenko. Ebert said, “We fondly remember the immortal names of Pussy Galore, Xenia Onatopp and Plenty O'Toole, who I have always suspected was a drag queen.” In this film, what’s the name? You want to know? Camille. That’s it. Camille. Ebert said, “Not even Camille Squeal. Or Cammy Miami. Or Miss O'Toole's friend Cam Shaft.”

Daniel Craig is still an amazing Bond, one of the best. He is handsome, swift, muscular, and dangerous. Everything but loquacious. Ebert said, “I didn't count, but I think M (Judi Dench) has more dialogue than 007.” Bond doesn’t look like he wants to sleep with Camille that crossed his mind. He smashes a hotel in the middle of a huge, empty, endless Bolivian desert. Ebert noted, “It's a luxury hotel, with angular W Hotel-style minimalist room furniture you might cut your legs on, and a bartender who will stir or shake you any drink, but James has become a regular bloke who orders lager. Who are the clients at this highest of high-end hotels? Lawrence of Arabia, obviously, and millionaires who hate green growing things. Conveniently, when the hotel blows up, the filmmakers don't have to contend with adjacent buildings, traffic, pedestrians, skylines or anything else. Talk about your blue screen. Nothing better than the azure desert sky.”

Why is he in Bolivia? Chasing after a global villain, whose name is not Goldfinger, Scaramanga, Drax or Le Chiffre, but … Dominic Greene, played by Mathiew Amalric. What is Dominic’s evil plan to rule the planet? For starters, the villain wants to corner the water supply of … Bolivia. Sounds bad. Ebert said, “This twisted design, revealed to Bond after at least an hour of death-defying action, reminds me of the famous laboratory mouse who was introduced into a labyrinth.” After fighting his way for days through ridiculous corridors and all these dead ends, finally, finally reaching thirst and starvation, the demented man edges finally to the training button and throws his little body at it. What comes down the chute as his prize? A licorice gum ball.

Dominic Greene doesn’t have a base on the moon, or at the bottom of the sea. He controls everything from a simply shipping warehouse with loading docks. His villainous car is given by fork lifts and pickup trucks. Bond doesn’t have to sneak out on the ledge of an underground volcano to spy on him. He just walks up to the chain-link fence and peaks through. Ebert said, “Greene could get useful security tips from Wal-Mart.”

There is no Q in “Quantum of Solace,” except in the title. No Miss Moneypenny at all. M now has a male secretary. Judi Dench, what a sly person. Bond doesn’t even come near her. He learned his lesson with Plenty. This Bond, he doesn’t bring much to the film. Ebert credited, “Daniel Craig can play suave and he can be funny and Brits are born doing double entendre. Craig is a fine actor. Here they lock him down. I repeat: James Bond is not an action hero! Leave the action to your Jason Bournes. This is a swampy old world. The deeper we sink in, the more we need James Bond to stand above it.”

This movie is a disappointment. After such an amazing hit with “Casino Royale,” you would think that they would do it again, but they didn’t. Instead, we get a very underwhelming Bond film, which has been a while now, but it shouldn’t be this way. If you want to, go ahead and skip this one.

However, look out tomorrow for a redeeming film in “James Bond Month.”