Inspector Gadget 2/The Haunted Mansion

Scott Weinberg started his review by saying, “Apparently not content to litter the video stacks with atrocious Cinderella 2 video Little Mermaid 2 sequels Lion King Christmas to their animated classics, this division has now set its sights firmly on the no-pressure business of sequels to cartoon properties not created by, but currently owned by the far-reaching Mouse House.”

To reword it, they’re running out of animated movies to make sequels to, so that explains why we’re being given sequels like “George of the Jungle 2” and “Inspector Gadget 2,” released in 2003. Weinberg said, “How we've never been subjected to a direct-to-video sequel of that My Favorite Martian movie is simply beyond me. But now when Disney does make one, they owe me some residuals for the brilliant idea.”

All you really need to know about “Inspector Gadget 2” are the following:

1.     The first “Inspector Gadget,” released in theaters in 1999, featured the wrongly casted Matthew Broderick as the main character and grossed about $100 million at the North American box office.

2.     That film was based on a silly-but-popular cartoon series from 1983, which could explain the great box office money.

3.     The sequel, the rightly titled “Inspector Gadget 2” recasts Matthew Broderick with someone who is worse and sadly very obnoxious: French Stewart. Weinberg said, “So if the cancellation of Third Rock from the Sun has you itchin' for more of French Stewart's "comedic talents" - I'm sorry to report that Inspector Gadget 2 is basically the only place to get your fix. But keep checking Hollywood Squares; he's bound to show up any minute.”

Since the main trait of Inspector Gadget is that he’s a gadget-filled robot who only looks like a man, you can safely say that that’s all the Disney Sequel People needed to know. Get a desperate actor willing to handle SO much green-screen work, and there’s your movie: a silly detective who has rockets flying out of his hat and wheels popping out beneath his feet as he sits in a computer-generated car that is reprised by D.L. Hughley (the only actor reprised in this sequel). There’s also pink slime flying everywhere.

It would be a better film for following the cartoon more if it weren’t so lifeless. In a relaxed regard to ‘plot,’ this sequel introduces a innovative lady Gadget, G2, played by Elaine Hendrix, who may just make the “protagonist” really outdated, just so the audiences can be sure that the screenwriters have watched “Terminator 2” and “Robocop 2” or just about any sequel where one cool robot is now being threatened by an upgrade. Obviously Gadget’s snarling villain, Dr. Claw, played by Tony Martin, gets involved with some evil that must be stopped. Weinberg said, “It's all very tiresome, trust me.”

Weinberg continued, “Featuring a truly awful screenplay and more overbaked CGI detritus than you can shake a claw at, Inspector Gadget 2 is a loud, leaden, garish and oppressively off-putting experience. The lead is nothing but a keening cipher, the narrative clearly has no intention of making sense, everything is beholden to the copious goopy layers of CGI stupidity.” There’s no heart, no jokes and definitely no real feeling of fun.

The first Gadget movie was really pedestrian and immediately forgettable (though I know it hurt to watch). This quick cash-in direct-to-video sequel is a completely new type of awful, and it’s the type of DVD release that should come with a free coupon for a medication to forget this one as part of the product placement. I saw commercials for this when I was 13 or 14, but I never bothered watching it until I saw comments on Nostalgia Critic's review of the first movie saying that the sequel was worse. So I went to the library to rent it and it's a decision that I regret making.

Disney made two films based on theme park rides in 2003: the creative and entertaining “Pirates of the Caribbean” and the weak comedy thriller “The Haunted Mansion.” The problem with this one is that, besides referencing the ride, there’s nothing working in here. It’s just another Eddie Murphy family comedy, without very few jokes.

When Louisiana estate agents Jim and Sara Evers, played by Eddie Murphy and Marsha Thomason, hear that a huge mansion is about to be put up for sale, it puts a large damage on their marriage. Sara wants the workaholic Jim to spend more time with their kids, played by Aree Davis and Marc John Jefferies. When they stop to look at the house, they get more than they asked for, as a sudden rainstorm traps them in the huge, scary mansion with an evil butler (Terence Stamp) the gothic lord of the mansion (Nathaniel Parker) and a couple of nervous servants (Wallace Shawn and Dina Waters). Rich Cline said in his review, “And they'll have to break a centuries-old curse to get out alive!”

There might be a good movie in the Disneyland ride, but this isn’t it. Cline noted, “Everything here is belaboured, from the overwrought production design (looks great but there's too much of it) to the overcomplicated plot (makes no sense really).” The cast seem loose, not sure why they’re in the movie at all – Murphy just says jokes with his typical energetic joy, Stamp sneers perfectly, Jennifer Tilly is funny as the gypsy in a green orb, etc. They’re all fine, and they thankfully never go over the top. However, none of that matters, so it’s impossible for the film to make any suspense at all. Comedy thrillers are always difficult, but this one doesn’t even have a bid of badly needed black humor. Cline said, “It's far too silly, with a paint-by-numbers plot to connect each unrelated set piece. It's watchable and enjoyable to a degree, but as Minkoff tries harder and harder to crank up the slapstick and suspense, the film lumbers to a halt.” It’s another movie where bloopers during the end credits would have greatly helped!

Alright, now that we have finally gotten these two trashy movies done with, look out tomorrow for some good movies in “Disney Live-Action Month.”