Jack Frost 2: Revenge of the Mutant Killer Snowman

I can’t believe this. I just cannot fathom this idea at all. How did Michael Cooney see the idea to make another Jack Frost movie? Was the first one that good that he thought there could be a sequel to it? Well, apparently he made it, and it’s a painful movie to watch. Looks like I have to torture myself with this bad Christmas special. This is the sequel released in 2000, “Jack Frost 2: Revenge of the Mutant Killer Snowman.”

After being buried for an entire year in numerous gallons of anti-freeze, Jack Frost is dug up by a couple of scientists. Being the little smarties that they are, they decide to run some scientific tests on the anti-freeze. One night, during an accident caused by the janitor, played by Brett A. Boydstun, tipping a cup of coffee into the tank, Jack is resurrected and kills the janitor. Now he is off to the Islands, and is apparently heat-resistant since he can’t melt in the sun. What kind of sense does that make!? There he will find his old nemesis, Sheriff Sam (Christopher Allot) and his wife Anne (Eileen Seeley). Not only are Sam and Anne on the islands so that Sam can recover from the traumatizing experience he went through the previous year, but also they are attending a friend’s wedding (The friends are played by Chip Heller and Marsha Clark). Apparently they believe that the Islands with tropical sun, the sand, and beaches will get Sam’s mind off of the snow and Jack’s memory. What they don’t know is that Jack is on his way at that very moment to seek his vengeance along with some minions of his.

You know what? I’m not even going to talk about the plot anymore. There is really no point because it feels like someone just defecated out this film without putting any effort into it whatsoever. The dialogue is ear-bleeding and the characters and the situations they are in are just plain moronic. Even down to the film’s tagline, “He’s icin…he’s slicing” hurts more than reading the first film’s tagline, “He’s chillin…he’s killin.” Overall, I feel that they were trying to capitalize this film further by trying to rip off “Child’s Play” and “Gremlins.” You will actually feel pain every single minute you watch this eye-soaring Christmas special.

Everything about this movie, from Captain Fun, played by Sean Patrick Murphy, the character that makes you want to throw something at the screen, to its awful ending, makes this sequel unwatchable. If you ever see “Jack Frost 2” anywhere, don’t buy it (even if it’s on sale for a penny), don’t rent it, don’t even look at it. Brandon Valentine said it best: "Jack Frost 2 is one of those films where every copy (in every format) should just be thrown into a burning bonfire." No one should have to lose their sight or hearing by watching this horrendous sequel. You would much rather be put into a corner and stare at a blank wall than watch this piece of horse manure.

Brandon Valentine stated in his blog, "On the upside, there is now a Christmas gift that Santa can give out worse than coal - "Jack Frost 2" on DVD." This film will forever be known as one of the worst sequels ever made. The first one I said was laughably bad, but there is nothing in this film that you should laugh about.

Rating for this film: a big, fat, whopping 0. Never watch this sequel as long as you live. Give me a moment to take a breath of fresh air…that felt better. Look out tomorrow, because I will now look at the other “Jack Frost” movie with Michael Keaton. It’s right for my 25 film reviews countdown to Christmas.