The story, according to the late Roger Ebert, "is an innocent and delightful children's tale that is spoiled by a disastrous decision to film most of it in lousy 3-D. Fully three quarters of the movie is in "3"-D, which looks more like 1-D to me, removing the brightness and life of the movie's colors and replacing them with a drab, listless palette, which is about as exciting as looking at a 3-D bowl of oatmeal.
"The 3-D process subtracts instead of adding. Ordinary 2-D movies look perfectly real enough for audiences and have for years; if it's not broke, don't fix it. Paradoxically, since it allegedly resembles our real-world vision, 3-D is less real than standard flat movies; 3-D acts as a distraction from character and story, giving us something to think about that during a good movie we should not be thinking about" (Ebert).
I do have to agree with him because most of the film is in 3-D. Not every film has to be in 3-D. People are just now abusing the 3-D technology, thinking that it is fancy, and just feel the need to release every single one of their new films in 3-D into the theaters. Now the origin of the film is actually quite interesting. Robert Rodriguez's son, Racer, who was 7 at the time (and also appears in this film as Sharkboy when he was 7), told him a story about a boy who grew gills and a fin and became half-shark, and a girl who incorporated fiery volcanic elements. Rodriguez encouraged his son to keep working on the story. Bad idea. The story is about Max, played by Cayden Boyd, who is a daydreamer, just like how Juni, in the first Spy Kids, wonders away by watching Floop on TV and wishes he was in the show. Max is picked on in school by a bully named Linus, played by Jacob Davich, because he carries around his Dream Journal, where he writes about Sharkboy and Lavagirl. When a tornado appears when there is a clear sky outside, Sharkboy, played by a young Taylor Lautner (another actor who put viewers to shame by appearing in "Twilight"), and Lavagirl, played by Taylor Dooley, tell Max that they need to take him to their home planet, Planet Drool, which sounds like something out of "Spaceballs" if you think about it. Max created Planet Drool, and it will be destroyed by darkness in the next 45 minutes. Sounds like your typical kid’s story. Why was this made into a film again?
So our trio go to the Planet, and they go through some interestingly named places, like the Stream of Consciousness, the Sea of Confusion, riding a Train of Thought, before arriving at a Dream Lair. Seriously, this shouldn't have been a kid’s film. It sounds like second grade fan-fiction, which is what it pretty much is. When they arrive there, they find Minus, who is also played by Davich. From there, many adventures just come about, some of them involving the Ice Princess, played by Sasha Pieterse, and a robot named Tobor, as well as an all-knowing character named Mr. Electric, which Max created out of his teacher, Mr. Electricidad. Want to know something? All three of these characters are played by the very funny Latino comedian who had his own Nickelodeon sitcom and hosted a late-night talk show for a while, George Lopez. "Mr. Electric appears as a big round smiling face in a frame outfitted with spindly arms and legs, and floats about like a busybody commentator, offering advice, issuing warning, and making a general nuisance of himself; one of his peculiarities is that he won't allow the kids on the planet to stop playing -- ever" (Ebert). What kind of a villain is that? I understand if you give kids a lot of time to play, like in the park or in the day-care center with their friends or other kids, but they'll eventually get tired after a while. Kids do have a lot of energy compared to adults, which I can easily agree with, but they do get tired as well, but not as easily as adults do. One of the ways Mr. Electric makes them play non-stop is having a group trapped on a roller coaster that never stops. Talk about a ride where a vomit bag is completely necessary to have with you.
"Sharkboy and Lavagirl" has the same upbeat charm that Rodriguez put into his "Spy Kids" trilogy, and the screenplay done by his 7-year-old son, Racer, involves "the kind of free-wheeling invention that kids enjoy; this is a movie where dream logic prevails" (Ebert). There is also the resemblance of having parents, including Max's, played by former WCW professional wrestler, David Arquette, and Kristen Davis. Because the real world scenes are in 2-D and Max's dreams and the Planet Drool scenes are in 3-D, we get an idea of what the movie would have looked like without the unnecessary dimension. Just like how in "Spy Kids 3-D: Game Over," there are moments where a sign flashes telling its viewers when to put on and take off the eye hurting 3-D glasses. Still though, I think this story would have been better as a kid’s book instead of a feature-film. However, I will say that this is something that families can see together, even though I think the parents won't enjoy it very much.
Well, next week is the finale of this month-long marathon. If you thought Rodriguez would have learned to stop with the "Spy Kids" film, and left it as a trilogy, think again. Even though I think everyone doesn't want to wait, just sit tight, we're almost done with this catastrophe.
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