Game Over (3D)

For those of you who might remember that back in the 80s, horror films were released in theaters in 3D. However, it was a very cheap gimmick, but now has turned into an expensive gimmick. Wherever you turn, there is a new film being released in 3D. Now, 3D may look like a cool tool to use, but your eyes get strained from wearing those glasses for a long time. I have seen films in 3D to know the experience, and I don't like it. I believe the film that started the 3D trend again was "Spy Kids 3D: Game Over," released in 2003.

Boy, did I make the mistake of seeing this in theaters when it was released. Sure, I may have liked it than, but I was only a teenager at the time, I didn't know any better. Now looking back, I can see how the 3D in that film did not look all that great. Not everything felt like it would come out at you and you could just grab with your own bare hands. Even the late Roger Ebert said in his review of this film:

"As a way of looking at a movie, 3-D sucks, always has, maybe always will. Apart from the thrill rides at Disney World, I have seen one 3-D process that looks good and really works, and that is high-end IMAX 3-D with the $150 glasses. But the last time I saw a 3-D movie at IMAX ("Ghosts of the Abyss"), they were back to the cheap cardboard jobs. The problems with 3-D are: (1) It is pointless except when sticking things in the audience's eyes; (2) It is distracting when not pointless; and (3) It dims the colors and makes the image indistinct" (Ebert).

See, even he didn't like 3D as well. Even if this film wasn't in 3D, it wouldn't have saved the fact that the story was just fluff. Want to know what the story in this one is? Well, it's your pain that you have to sit through and read this. Here it goes:

As you all know at the end of the second film, Juni decides to leave the OSS and starts his own private eye agency. For instance, one of the stuff is that he finds lost toys. Boy, isn't that exciting? One of the girls, who is played by the aggravating pop singer that landed a role in Disney's "Wizards of Waverly Place," Selena Gomez, tells Juni that the water park isn't working. Juni eventually finds out and tells her that the amusement park people shut it down because it's Winter. Nah, really? Later on, he goes back home and sits in his tree house that you would also remember from the second film, when Gerti comes in using her pigtails for flying, and gives him a valuable lesson about family. Apparently, Carmen hasn't been around, but later on finds out from Devlin that she is missing. Juni goes back to the OSS, and keeps telling them that he is an "ex-Agent." What a moron! Why didn't you like being in the OSS? Did they ever explain that? He meets up with Donovan and his wife, Francesca, played by a Mexican actress that I am head over heels in love with, Salma Hayek, who tell him that Carmen was sent into a virtual reality video game, that kids don't stop playing. It has 5 levels, but the 5th level is unwinnable. The creator of this game is called Sebastian the Toymaker, played by action star from the 80s along with Schwarzenegger, Sylvester Stallone. Why call him The Toymaker if he created a video game? Wouldn't you call him the Gamemaker? That would have made much more sense. What, before he was imprisoned by the OSS, did he make Toys? So, in order to get Carmen back, Juni must go into the game and find her.

Now, Juni meets up with three beta testers, Francis (Bobby Edner), Arnold (Ryan Pinkston) and Rez (Robert Vito), who at first launch him to the moon in order to have fewer distractions in reaching Level 5. Juni is then offered a partner, and he chooses his grandfather, Valentin, who apparently became handicapped because of The Toymaker. Later on, Francis, Arnold, and Rez think that Juni is "The Guy," who can take them to Level 5 and beat the game. However, he is not. Also, Juni meets up with Demetra, played by Courtney Jines, who is The Deceiver, a program used to fool players. Juni finds out about Demetra through Carmen.

Here's another shocker: Alexa Vega sang 2 songs for this movie. One was the main theme, "Game Over," and the other was a duet with Bobby Edner called "Heart Drive."

I feel that Robert Rodriguez did not take the time to look through this film before he released it. It would have been a whole lot better if he made it true to what made this series so great, instead of having the third film fall flat on its face and giving his audience a major disappointment that they feel they could have spent their money on theater tickets for a much better film that was released that same summer. Also, why do they call this supposed person that can beat the game "The Guy." Couldn't a better name have been used to describe that person? Also, Elijah Wood makes a brief cameo in this film that he probably regrets doing now, looking back. However, there are certain light-hearted moments that make this film enjoyable. Like Stallone having multiple-personalities (three versions of himself) that he talks to, and celebrity supporting appearances (George Clooney, Steve Buscemi, Bill Paxton, Mike Judge). Still, sadly, this film was not ready to be released when it was. Rodriguez should have reworked a good majority of the film to make it work. Having it in 3D for a good portion of the film wasn't going to save it from the horrible plot, even if it was engaging. It shouldn't have been made in 3D to begin with because the 3D wasn't even all that impressive. Hopefully Rodriguez learns and stops right here in this series, leaving it as a shameful trilogy.

Well, since I misjudged how many weeks there would be this month, next week I will review a film that you could say is a spin-off of this series.