Leprechaun Returns

Now we come to something new, one that borrows a page from last year’s “Halloween.” “Leprechaun Returns,” released on TV in 2018, like “Halloween,” is a direct sequel to the original “Leprechaun,” ignoring all of the previous sequels before. Rather than taking place in the Hood with Ice-T or in space, the leprechaun, this time played by Linden Porco, has spent the last twenty or so years rotting down that well. He finally comes back when an eco-friendly sorority decides that the rundown house and well are the perfect place for their environmental sorority house. When newest member Lila (Taylor Spreitler) arrives with Ozzie (Mark Holton), the leprechaun finds the perfect way out of the well and soon begins hunting the girls and their friends, as he once again is looking for his pot of gold.

What made 2018’s “Halloween” as great as a direct sequel, which cleaned the slate on the other versions, was that it greatly included the original heroine again. “Leprechaun Returns” didn’t get Jennifer Aniston back in here, so sadly we get the confusing ‘daughter of,’ a trope that was used in a lot in horror sequels around the time of the original “Leprechaun.” Kat Hughes said in her review, “The buzz around the Halloween direct sequel paid off, but here it feels like a really cheap hook, and one that you wouldn’t really miss unless you have seen the first film.” There also included Ozzie, but he’s sort of being a ‘hey he’s back from the first movie,’ his role could be any other character.

Hughes noted, “Leprechaun, which is included with the DVD for Leprechaun Returns, wasn’t the most solid of movies to begin with, and the sequel falls even further from perfection.” It also goes in a very different direction. The first one was a comedy horror, and despite the same could be said for this sequel, it’s way more of a gruesome movie. Hughes said, “The first film was rather anaemic, but here blood gushes freely with nearly all of the deaths featuring bucket-loads of the red stuff. The original had a rather limited kill count, here it’s a more standard slasher affair with almost all characters perishing in more and more absurd ways. We get someone split in two by a solar panel, someone water-sprinkled to death, and an idiot who clearly went to the ‘Rickon Stark school of evading’ whom seemingly allows himself to get taken down by a drone. And did we mention a game of charades with a ghost? That pushes Leprechaun Returns firmly into jumping the shark territory, and certainly won’t keep Wayne’s World’s Garth up at night.”

What really aggravates about “Leprechaun Returns” is the unwanted and outdated trust on misogynistic jokes. For some reason the leprechaun has suddenly become a huge desirable predator. He’s seen watching one of the girls in the shower, and later says that she has ‘chest of talent,’ the same girl smacks him across his face and he replies, ‘you give great head.’ The girls themselves aren’t the intelligent and independent sisters you would want for today’s times, and each of them instead is a clichéd trope. There’s the bossy one (Sai Bennet), the alcoholic (Emily Reid), and the girl (Pepi Sonuga) who keeps sleeping with the boy (Ben McGregor) she broke up with, just because. Characters also change traits constantly, with one character (Ben McGregor) that has been nice and friendly to Lila suddenly taking a photo of her getting out of the shower and saying it’s going up on social media. It’s confusing and hard to put together whether we should be cheering for the girls or the leprechaun, as both sides are unacceptable.

Hughes is right when she said, “A sorry sequel that limps to its conclusion, Leprechaun Returns is a confused and outdated muddle of a movie.” Just like the leprechaun, you’ll really want to look for gold, but will end up with nothing but weak lead.

Despite that I like the idea that they finally decided to make a direct sequel to a film as opposed to constantly changing the story that you could watch these out of order, just like the rest of the franchise, this one is just garbage. How can anyone really like this franchise, especially since Porco doesn’t stop with the weak rhymes and riddles that he constantly spews? Like I have said with the rest of the franchise, avoid this film and all the others because I don’t find this funny or entertaining, as I didn’t laugh at anything.

Now that I have got that out of the way, look out on Thursday for the finale of this year’s “Halloween Month.”

Leprechaun: Origins

The “Leprechaun Franchise” is not a good one. Brian Orndorf described it as, “Conceived as satiric dig at the unstoppable killing machine craze of the 1980s and ‘90s, the original film merged silliness and shock with some degree of care, launching a franchise that carried on for five increasingly ridiculous sequels, making star Warwick Davis a cult icon and his agent very happy. 2003’s “Leprechaun: Back 2 tha Hood” was the swan song for the tiny monster, but a decade of dormancy hasn’t been as educational as one would hope.” “Leprechaun: Origins” is the unavoidable 2013 remake, redoing the ridiculous story into an R-rated horror with a completely redoing enemy. Unfortunately, the production tells the audience that it wants to be completely seriousness, which will only make you find way more insane.

Visiting Ireland for vacation, Jeni (Melissa Roxburgh) and Ben (Andrew Dunbar) are working out their relationship, while their friends David (Brendan Fletcher) and Sophie (Stephanie Bennett) come along to enjoy the time of their lives. Arriving in a village that has Celtic artifacts, the friends are welcomed by a man named Hamish, played by Garry Chalk, who wants to help these kids enjoy a great excursion of Ireland, giving them a night in a solitude cabin in the woods, with plans to give them the secrets of the “Stone of the Gods.” Trying to sleep that night, Jeni sees that something isn’t right, with the friends seeing they’ve been locked inside the cabin, used as a sacrifice for the Leprechaun, played by WWE wrestler Dylan “Hornswoggle” Postl, a terrifying creature out to suck out the blood of its victims.

Orndorf mentioned, “The 1993 film wasn’t a work of art, but it had a personality, blending broad shenanigans with horror touches, playing into trends of the day as it teased high camp. The sequels turned the premise of a killer fairy into DTV burlesque, with Davis rising above plummeting production values and unfortunate co-stars to shine as the mischievous devil, protecting his pot of gold with quips and various methods of murder.” This type of exaggeration doesn’t concern director Zach Lipovsky and screenwriter Harris Wilkinson, who tries to come back to that brutality to the franchise’s name, bringing the story to Ireland (actually shot in Canada, which doesn’t look anywhere close to Ireland) and redoing the look of the slasher villain, turning him into a Gollum-looking creature, not a tricky but polychromatic character of Irish folklore. Orndorf said, “Laboring to resuscitate the series with a fresh perspective is laudable, downright necessary when one considers the state of the franchise a decade ago, but going dark with a premise that requires light confuses the whole endeavor.”

Not wearing his buckles, hat, and cannot walk, this new Leprechaun has been turned into some shadowy character, putting Postl under a thick layer of rubber as he had difficulty to express this performance as a scary villain. Orndorf mentioned, “There are no recognizable features to the gray blob, forcing Lipovsky to use a hazy, golden “Leprechaun Vision” to communicate a POV, while speedy edits suggest movement.” The design of the Leprechaun is horrible, turning a character that might give people have a hard time sleeping into a snarly, dull creature who doesn’t speak, making “Leprechaun: Origins” a survival flick where the human characters run for their lives from some shadowy movement in tall grass and dark corners. Orndorf mentioned, “Not that the new picture had to jazz up established tomfoolery to compete, but its sense of gloom and doom is ruined by a forgettable enemy. Davis’s performance, his sense of theatricality, and his villainous make-up are deeply missed.”

Orndorf goes on to say, “The rest of “Leprechaun: Origins” is a paint-by-numbers affair, with the humans picked off one-by-one, while gold plays a important role in the story, generating a sense a guilt with the Irish as they feed the visitors to the roving monster to protect their lives. Violence is plentiful, but prosthetics are iffy at best, and HD cinematography by Mahlon Todd Williams is dispiritingly flat, failing to bring out any atmosphere. Lipovsky tarnishes the visual look of the film further by employing body-mounted cameras to accentuate a few deaths -- cheap tricks to ornament a fading endeavor. Performances are lackluster as well, swimming upstream with dreary characterization before the acting solely focuses on pleas, panic, and post-sprint heavy breathing.” For everything they put into redoing the Leprechaun, it’s strange the rest of the production is so typical, scared of trying something amazing with the usual traits. “Leprechaun: Origins” is tiring and a mockery.

Like I have mentioned before in my review of every single entry in this putrid series, don't watch it. You will feel nothing but pain and stupid by watching it and it's not even worth seeing, I promise you that.

Phew, I'm finally done with this series. Boy, was that difficult to get through. Now that I'm finally done with this series, check in tomorrow to see what the next bad franchise I will be telling everyone to avoid in "Halloween Month."

Leprechaun: Back 2 tha Hood

Now we have come to the sequel to the previous movie, “Leprechaun: Back 2 tha Hood,” released in 2003. I don’t understand how in the world they decided to keep making these films. Also, how did they decide to make a prequel to this franchise? Christopher Beaumont stated in his review, “I guess it doesn't matter. I guess they all managed to make some money and warrant another trip into the well. Granted, it did take three years after Leprechaun on the Hood for this to appear. On the flip side, I guess this one did not land as well as the others, as this was the last one to be released prior to the WWE produced reboot.”

The director of the previous movie, Rob Spera, was originally supposed to return as director for this one, which would have made him the second director to direct more than one “Leprechaun” movie (the other being Brain Trenchard-Smith). When his story ideas were rejected, he decided to not return. What was included was a Venice Beach and a spring break island for Leprechaun to be at. The studio had other ideas. Since the last movie was liked (I don’t know how), they decided to return there, despite that Spera did not want to do the same story again. Hence came the movie that we got instead.

Writer/director Steve Ayrmlooi was hired for the sixth installment of this painful franchise. What you might feel when watching this is that it doesn’t feel like a “Leprechaun” movie, even though the name is in the title. Beaumont admitted, “I was reminded of the latter Hellraiser sequels, the ones built from screenplays that were not originally Hellraiser movies, but had those elements stuck in to change the original into a sequel that they could conceivably market.”

The movie is just the same rehash again. A gang of ghetto men (including Sticky Fingaz, replacing the role that Ice T had in the last one), find the Leprechaun’s gold and start using it as their currency. Faster than you think, the Leprechaun arrives and, like a spoiled kid, kills everyone just to get back his pot of gold.

As you might have guessed, this is an idiotic entry. Beaumont admitted, “Considering how much I legitimately enjoyed its predecessor, this one goes in completely the opposite direction. It is boring, dull, and I felt like turning it off. I have to tell you, that is saying something considering how bad some of these movies are.” There’s nothing to like in here, besides Warwick Davis. He’s always fun in the role, even if the movie isn’t working for him.

To tell you the truth, there’s nothing else I can say about this film. I shouldn’t even be wasting my time talking about this, unless if you are a huge fan of this franchise. Beaumont describes, “The movie does try to bring a little something to the table with an animated storybook style open attempting to give the history of the Leprechaun and how they were fierce warriors, defending the nation's gold and when they were sent away, one particularly nasty little fellow stayed behind. It is a nice bit, but does not do enough to win me over.”

Beaumont mentioned, “One thing my mind wandered to while watching is that we may have been watching most of these movies the wrong way.” For most of the movies, it tells you how someone stole the Leprechaun’s gold. A huge part of it shows him trying to get it back. If he had every single golden coin in his pot, then he would have no reason to kill these people and would disappear. Beaumont complained, “The human characters are the villains. If they just left their greed at the door, they would still be alive today. So what if there is mistaken identity and transference, if the initial thief did not thieve, all would be fine. Stupid humans.”

The “Leprechaun” franchise is a terrible series and isn’t even in the same ballpark as the huge series in the horror genre. With “Leprechaun Back 2 tha Hood,” the series had lost every single one of its edges with a miserable 10 years after it started with the ridiculous first entry. I know there are worse franchises, but I don’t know why this one seems to go down in history. I regretfully admit that I have seen it.

Like I said, I don’t recommend this series at all. The last one was so bad enough, it shouldn’t have given everyone the idea of making another.

Luckily, I only have one more “Leprechaun” movie left to review, the prequel. To see how bad that is, stay tuned tomorrow when we thankfully get the “Leprechaun Franchise” done with.

Leprechaun in the Hood

Look's like we're in for an offending entry today everyone. The reason why I say that is because it's the 2000 installment, "Leprechaun in the Hood."

Pontifex Aureus started his review out by saying, "Ok…I will admit that I went into this review looking for an easy target to pick on; what better than something ridiculous like Leprechaun in the Hood, right? Well, surprise—it wasn’t actually all that bad! I take that back, it is bad…but I could sit through it once. The Leprechaun series was never one to take itself very seriously, but Leprechaun in the Hood takes it to new levels of stupid and almost ends up being decent if only it didn’t skimp on the gore and run out of comedic gas early on."

As you might have already guessed it, there isn't really a story, but three rappers (Anthony Montgomery, Rashaan Nall and Red Grant) steal a magic flute from a mobster (rapper Ice-T) which has the ability for everyone to like their music, even if it sucks. Turns out this mobster stole it from teh Leprechaun, who (you guessed it) comes back to like and wants his flute back, while also finding out about weed and rap.

The movie actually is interesting when it begins. The first ten minutes is a stabbing with an afro comb and Ice-T taking a baseball bat out of his afro (which questions how he got it in there?). Aureus questions, "After this, a few amusing scenes with the rap trio trying to pawn a guitar left me with high hopes that Leprechaun in the Hood might actually turn out to be pretty good. Unfortunately, the laughs die out quickly around the 20 minute mark and the movie becomes unbearably dumb. Where we started off well with silly but effective slapstick, we end up with lame rhymes and cross-dressing rappers by movies-end." The horror and comedy are not put together in the right way, like how it was with the previous movies. Rather than trying to combine them, they try to outsmart one another, with horror and comedy trying to be better than the other.

As you guessed, the story's bad and there's not comedy, but does it have good killings? Obviously not, as you also have guessed. For a horror movie, it's so cheap when it comes to the special effects. You don't see a lot of the murders and you think if it's implied or off-screen. Other kills are also so weak, like killing by green CGI lightning or simply Leprechaun pointing and making them spontaneously combust. Aureus was funny when he said, "Honestly, he might as well just be going around shooting people with a gun…—that actually sounds like a funny premise (Leprechaun with a Shotgun)!"

The worst part about it is that after starting out great, the movie starts to show that it was poorly created and boring. The direction wasn't taken the right way at certain areas that don't make any sense.  Like when a couple are having a love moment when the woman changes into a beast, which makes you think that's Leprechaun in disguise. However, the joke is on you because the woman kills her man, the camera then goes to the Leprechaun laughing in some kind of void. You don't know if he is watching somewhere or where he is. However, we do see later on that Leprechaun gets stuck in a safe and we see the void that he was in. Looks like that part didn't include the safe the Leprechaun wasn't even in yet.

It should come as no surprise "Leprechaun in the Hood" is a horrible movie and with how boirng and unimaginative it is doesn't even make it "so bad it's good." Aureus suggests, "However, it really does start off well, it’s not the worst Leprechaun movie I’ve seen (cough, Leprechaun 4, cough), and I give the film credit for its wacky premise. The idea of an evil Leprechaun running around Compton is so juicy that you really wish that they’d done more with the idea. If you decide to watch the movie, do yourself a favor and watch the first 20 minutes, stop the DVD and then imagine a better movie in your mind." There is a Leprechaun rap scene, which is probably the worst rap ever.

Just to think that they decided to make another Leprechaun movie of him in the hood. If you want to know how bad that is, check in tomorrow.

Leprechaun 4: In Space

Boy are we in for quite a shocker today? Like every single horror franchise that just wanted to die, the "Leprechaun franchise" decided to do that with 1997 second direct-to-video installment "Leprechaun 4: In Space."

Now I know what you're thinking: how could they come up with the idea of putting the Leprechaun in space? You're guess is as good as mine. In this one, the Leprechaun captures Princess Zarina, played by Rebekah Carlton, in order to marry her and rule her home planet. Along comes some "Star Trek" type people, who kill the Leprechaun. One of the comrades, Kowlaski, played by Geoff Meed, gets all cocky and takes a leak on the Leprechaun. The Leprechaun then sneaks into Kowlaski's private, which makes no sense because as far as I know, a Leprechaun doesn't have that ability!!!! When Kowlaski is having a loving moment with Delores, played by Debbe Dunning, the Leprechaun emerges from Kowlaski's private, giving him the worst pain ever, and every guy watching this scene feels that pain.

Like the usual sci-fi movies happen, they are all put in humiliation of being in this movie. Tina (Jessica Collins) gets stuck in an air duct, Delores' space suit get damaged, Metal Head (Tim Colceri) is the android, and the Leprechaun sets off the ship's self-destruct mechanism. Dr. Mittenhand, played by Guy Siner, gets injected with Zarina's DNA and a combination dosage of a tarantula and a scorpion. Bloodcrypt Keeper mentioned in his review, "He is doused in liquid nitrogen and shattered by a bullet a la Terminator 2, similar to how your will to live should be feeling at this point in your viewing of this abysmal mess."

If you think that is ridiculous, the Leprechaun zaps himself with an enlarging ray, causing him to be a giant, which looks like A SHAMELESS MOCKING OF THE QUEEN ALIEN AT THE END OF "ALIENS!!!" Books eventually sucks him out of the ship by opening an airlock, causing him to explode. If that is not enough, he gives the middle finger to the crew. Bloodcrypt Keeper is right when he says, "Really, he is flipping off the audience as if to say “At no point during the making or execution of the film did we respect you, the audience."

This movie is utterly shameless. How dare they decide to make this monstrosity? Why did they decide to make this when no one (and I mean, no one) would be scared of a vacuous Leprechaun!?!? Just don't watch it, plain and simple!

If that is not enough, they made two direct-to-video where they put the Leprechaun in "the hood." I am not kidding. If you want to know how bad they are, stay tuned tomorrow when I talk about the first one in this horrendous franchise.

Leprechaun 3

Wow are we in for a big stinker today. If you want to know what I mean by that, I'm talking about the first direct-to-video Leprechaun movie (they're all going to be direct-to-video from now on), "Leprechaun 3," released in 1995.

A pawn shop owner, Gupta, played by Marcelo Tubert, gets the Leprechaun statue, takes the gold medallion off of it, which brings the Leprechaun back to life, and ends up killing Gupta. Next, we see a college student by the name of Scott (John Gatnis) who chases after a Casino employee, Tammy (Lee Armstrong). Scott takes the medallion and instead of using the money he had on his tuition, he decides to wish to win the jackpot at the casino. What a vacuous kid!?!?!?

You'll probably notice that all the employees are nothing different compared to the first two movies. They are actually the same people!!!

They all get their hands on the medallion, make wishes, the Leprechaun kills them all. The owner, Mitch (Michael Callan), gets electrocuted by a robot after being so desperate to sleep with a woman, Loretta (Caroline Williams), wishes to be young and beautiful, but the Leprechaun spontaneously combust her after expanding her chest, butt and lips, making her look like a duck, and Fazio (John DeMita), wishes to be a great magician, and the Leprechaun chainsaws him in half.

Here's a real shocker this time around: when the Leprechaun bites Scott, he starts to change into one. If he has the power to do that, how come it didn't happen when he did that IN THE LAST TWO MOVIES!?!?!?!? Bloodcrypt Keeper is right when he says, "I think maybe it’s because the Leprechaun was wounded and maybe his blood got mixed in. If you are capable of critical thinking like that, this film is not for you."

Do you really want to know how the Leprechaun gets killed in this one? His pot of gold is set on fire, which causes him to be set ablazed. How in the world does that work!?!?

Just forget it, this movie is just horrendous from the start. If you find yourself entertained with this franchise, then just go ahead and see this one. But I wasn't entertained. This series got more and more painful to sit through with each entry, and it shows, since they decided to go direct-to-video. Don't filmmakers know that if you decided to go direct-to-video, it automatically spells disaster? They need to learn that "rarely" a direct-to-video sequel works, but not all the time.

As much as I hate to say it, we still got a ways to go before we are done with this stupid "Leprechaun franchise." Just sit tight, we will get through this travesty.

Leprechaun 2

Just to think, a year after the monstrosity that was "Leprechaun," they made "Leprechaun 2" in 1994.

Leonard Kladly started his review out by saying, "There’s no lucky charm, or charm of any kind, to “Leprechaun 2.” This malevolent little horror item is a nasty piece of business that revels in chicanery and gore. For the die-hard fan, this may be just the sort of pot o’gold that’s eluded him. Otherwise, be forewarned, there’s more bile than blarney in this bit of Irish folklore. Commercial prospects for the genre outing are down and dirty. This is strict programmer fare for a niche audience and straight on to video and cable. It should do respectable, if fleeting, business in its limited theatrical run."

Despite that the character's the same, the sequel only has little reference to the first movie. The story starts a thousand years prior in Ireland with the Leprechaun looking for a wife.

According to his people's legend, he can marry any girl he wants who sneezes three times. Kladly mentioned, "This hitherto unknown bit of the archaic, of course, is spurred more by convenience than logic."

When the Leprechaun is just going to marry the girl (Shevonne Durkin), his slave who also happens to be her father (James Lancaster) ruins his plan. However, the Leprechaun swears that a thousand years later he will marry his descendant to looks just like his daughter.

Kladly is right when he says, "It’s a mighty slim device for even the most Pyrrhic victory." However, a thousand years later he arrives in California. His eyes are targeted on Bridget (Durkin), and this time her boyfriend is Cody (Charlie Heath).

Three sneezes later, Bridget is captured but just barely. This should be the end, only Cody manages to get his hands on the Leprechaun's gold. As we all know, the Leprechaun goes insane when someone takes at least one peice of gold from his pot.

The creaters of this mess at least don't insert anything really serious and have a little fun while inserting the kills. Kladly said, "The accent is cruel and darkly ironic, and brevity rather than wit allows them to skip through the pastiche plot."

Davis brings charm to this role even though he has to sit through hours of makeup. There's also a comic relief of Sandy Baron as Charlie's street smart, alcoholic uncle who is quite the gambler. The remaining cast is really forgettable.

Kladly ended his review by saying, "“Leprechaun 2” is a reasonably well-made, idle diversion. It may just, but only just, have the pluck to raise its head again slightly sooner than 2994."

Like I stated before, there is no need to see the "Leprechaun franchise." Each movie is bad right from the start. There was no need to make any sequels. Why did they do it, I cannot say.

Only way to get through all of this is just to sit back and try to take in this horrific experience is just to take it one day at a time, even though it will be painful. Look out tomorrow for the next installment of the "Leprechaun franchise."

Leprechaun

The next painful franchise that we will be looking at for "Halloween Month" this year is the "Leprechaun franchise." This franchise will definitely make you feel like your IQ is dropping because this is a franchise where it starts out bad. Unlike other franchises that get progressively worse with the sequels after the first one was good, the "Leprechaun franchise" doesn't have at least "one" good sequel, if you can believe that. Case in point, let's take a look at the first "Leprechaun" movie, released in 1993.

Felix Vasquez told his readers his memory of the movie in his review: "I remember the first time my brother and I asked my parents if we could rent “Leprechaun” from the video store. My dad responded with “No way! You guys won’t be able to look at a box of Lucky Charms for a month!” Suffice it to say he did rent it after we begged, and not only did the movie not scare us, but it bored us to tears." You can tell the creators of this painful franchise had run out of slasher villains to think up. Trolls were done, the same with elves, so they decided that a leprechaun was the next failed slasher villain they were going for.

Ten years earlier, Daniel O'Grady (Shay Duffin) comes back from Ireland rich, ready to live the affluent life, but not until he sees the Leprechaun (Warwick Davis) who is in his home. After stealing the gold, the Leprechaun demands that he wants it back, and proves it by killing Daniel's wife, played by Pamela Mant, and prompt Daniel to his death by having a stroke. Luckily, Daniel is able to nail the Leprechaun in a wooden box, trapping him in there for a four leaf clover before dying. A decade passes, and J.D. Redding (John Sanderford) and his daughter Tory (the hot Jennifer Aniston from the show "Friends," making her film debut) rent the farmhouse. They hire contract workers Nathan (Ken Olandt), his brother Alex (Robert Hy Gorman) and their friend Ozzie Jones (Mark Holton) to re-paint the farm. In the process of looking through the farmhouse, the clover is knocked off the crate. Now the Leprechaun is out of the box and is causing trouble with a go-kart, a baby's tricycle and a POJO STICK! There's even a ridiculous game of hide and seek in the woods with Deputy Tripet, played by David Permenter.

The main issue is that the creators try to make the Leprechaun into a slasher villain instead of simply making him a unfair cheat. This is a creature with gold that grants wishes, and they don't really delve into that. Instead, he hides behind shelves, insults kids and trips people by their ankles. He even kills someone with a POJO STICK, if you want to think they thought that up! Vasquez said, "I would have loved the Leprechaun to be this monster that introduces fortune and wealth to a group that gradually transforms them in to greedy monsters murdering each another, as he sits by enjoying the and pulling the strings." Warwick Davis is nice as the Leprechaun with some nice make up, but it sucks that he was not used in the right way.

Bottom line: don't make the mistake to see this movie. The characters are idiots and do you honestly think that we would be scared of a stupid Leprechaun? They should have stopped it right here! Instead, they decided to keep making shameful sequel after shameful sequel when they should have known that it was only going to get worse. Although Alex gets a pretty awesome line, which you can see by clicking here.

If you want to know how, stay tuned tomorrow when we look at the first sequel in this pitiful franchise in "Halloween Month."