Expend4bles

Tonight, on VOD, I saw “Expend4bles,” which came out theatrically in September. Since everyone knows where I stand on the first three, let’s find out how this new sequel is, which has been in talks for years.

The tone of the film can be summarized in a single close-up: a corpse’s severed hand giving the finger. To its director, Scott Waugh, and everyone responsible for bringing fans this resting action franchise, the middle finger gestures toward this fourth installment’s intended style: macho, smirky, and insolent. At its best, the film is all three. Amy Nicholson said in her review, “This all-star mercenary squadron composed of ’80s-to-aughts brutes is the cinematic equivalent to Slash’s Snakepit, a supergroup throwback to an era when men were meatheads and we in the audience merrily cheered them on.”

Nicholson continued, “I’ll admit I still did, at least for some of this swaggering inanity. Why resist the impossible physics of Curtis Jackson (better known as 50 Cent) body-slamming a baddie back and forth like a toddler throwing a temper tantrum with his dolly? Or Dolph Lundgren lampooning his aging vision by screwing a prescription lens onto his sniper rifle? Or Sylvester Stallone grumbling about a thumb-wrestling injury that he’s chosen to nurse with a tiny custom leather sling? Or Jason Statham, the comically gifted bruiser now promoted to the series’ lead, doing, well, pretty much anything?”

Nicholson noted, “In an even earlier era, Statham’s nimble skills would have awarded him a career like Jimmy Cagney’s.” However, he’s in our era, with a script that gives a few enjoyable lines – he calls an enemy “a sneaky little sausage” – but mostly lets him down. The screenwriters Kurt Wimmer, Tad Daggerhart, and Max Adams seem to share a mutual dislike of the story, chanting the words “detonator” and “World War 3” until the threats become background static.

These high jinks would be more fun if the actors didn’t look so calm. Nothing breaks their calmness. Not explosions or blood spills, not beheadings or nuclear bombs, not even seeing a warship sailing in the Sea of Japan. (Nicholson noted, “Perhaps because all of the above have been cheaply rendered in post.) Even a back-flipping, insult-slinging seduction scene between Statham and a new teammate, played by Megan Fox, climaxes without a lip-gloss smudge. It’s just one more artificial palpitation.”

The energy pops along on throwaway jokes, like when Jacob Scipio, as a loquacious young Expendable, drinks a cocktail with a pink umbrella at a wake. There’s a strangely enjoyable diversion with a lustful internet influencer, played by Samuel Black, and a shootout interrupted by a stereo playing 50 Cent’s P.I.M.P., which is just simply strange. Nicholson asked, “Is Jackson the rapper in the same universe as Jackson the assassin? Does he moonlight in carnage?”

Andy Garcia, Randy Couture, Levy Tran, and the great martial artist Tony Jaa are included in our cast of protagonists while Iko Uwais is the leader of a generic villain team, giving every intensity he can to a villain written with no identifiable traits than a scar. Nicholson noted, “When things get dull, there’s always Lundgren in the background, playing up his character’s nearsightedness with the daffy charm of Marilyn Monroe. But the film’s last reel is so awful — so sneeringly contemptuous of our good-faith efforts to play along with these shenanigans — that we leave the theater still thinking of that middle finger.” It felt as though it was pointed at everyone.

I’m sorry, but this one I’m not feeling. I don’t think this one was as good as the previous three. Maybe because of the amount of time it took to make this and the characters not giving their all like the others did. Arnold Schwarzenegger said he was not going to return saying a general disinterest, neither did Terry Crews after being inappropriately abused by Stallone’s agent, Adam Venit. I just couldn’t get into this one so much maybe because of how dull it felt, especially with the obvious CG effects that you could point out were done poorly, especially with the green screen effects. I don’t recommend this one and I don’t know if they’re planning on making another one, especially since they cancelled an all-female spinoff of the franchise.

Thank you for joining in on the review tonight. Stay tuned tomorrow when I continue “Disney Month 2023” with another Original Movie sequel that was fine. Sorry for the late posts. I fell asleep because I was so tired from work today.

The Expendables trilogy

Special treat today everyone! I went and saw “The Expendables 3,” so I thought that maybe I will review that today. However, like everything else that has been released this year, I need to review the first 2 movies before I get to the third one. Sit back and enjoy because this will be a long post on “The Expendables trilogy.”

The first “The Expendables” movie came out in 2010, which is that type of all-out, over the top action movie that you just don’t see that often because Jeffrey Lyles stated in his review, “the human brain can only take a movie that provides the equivalent to getting three consecutive adrenaline shots so many times.” So if you were one of those kids who grew up in the 80s and saw the action movies released then, there’s a slight chance that you won’t be on the edge of your seat enjoying this awesome movie that got made, despite the fact that it stars all the major action stars from the past, present and future.

This was directed and co-written by Sylvester Stallone, who really does know about action movies and is considered one of the big three action stars of the 80s, the others being Bruce Willis and Arnold Schwarzenegger, both who appear briefly in cameo appearances in this movie.

After the success of both “Rocky Balboa” and “Rambo,” Stallone proved that he still knows how to please his audience that want to see him in more action movies. “The Expendables” is no different since it includes explosions and characters you care for more about than the good guys packing with guns fighting the villains.

Stallone plays Barney Ross, the leader of a group of Expendables who take on impossible tasks, if the pay is decent. His team consists of Gunner Jensen (Dolph “I must break you” Lundgren), Lee Christmas (British action star Jason Statham), Yin Yang (Jet Li), Hale Caesar (former NFL player turned actor Terry Crews), Toll Road (UFC fighter Randy Couture), and their contact, Tool (the great Mickey Rourke).

The group is tasked to take down a Latin American dictator only to find out that the real person they need to take down is former CIA agent James Munroe (Eric Roberts, who you might remember as Sal Maroni from “The Dark Knight") who also has a group of bandits with him, including occasional professional wrestler “Stone Cold” Steve Austin.

Do you think the fight between Steve Austin and Randy Couture sounds interesting? Stallone believes that it does as he admitted that some of his other favorite fights include a big man/little man fight between Jet Li and Swedish actor Dolph Lundgren. Here's an interesting tidbit: Dolph Lundgren has a Master's Degree in Chemical Engineering, and had no interest in acting. Now he is an actor. Go figure!

I’m pretty sure that no one would have played a better villain than Eric Roberts.

Lyles described the movie in his review, ““The Expendables” is a man’s man action movie without any fancy wire work, poorly designed comic book costumes, wisecracking teenagers, an over reliance on CGI and most importantly no 3D that’s all too prevalent in today’s action flicks.” It’s filled with explosions, car chases, shoot-outs, and some serious fight scenes. It’s great to see that Stallone can still think up of some creative ways for good guys to kill the villains. At least it's nothing like Michael Bay's work, where he overuses the explosions, shaky cameras, slow-motion moments, and everything that once looked cool.

As with any other action movie, it’s filled with a surprising amount of humor on the action silliness making it the definitive cap on the action movies released in the summer of 2010 as the year’s unequaled action movie.

Stallone tried to get other big named action stars in this movie like Wesley Snipes, Steven Seagal, and Jean-Claude Van Damme, but for certain reasons they didn’t sign on to be in this movie.

The only downside to this movie is that there weren’t any cameos from the other action stars I mentioned, or even Jackie Chan and Chuck Norris, which is always open for the sequels. For an action movie like this, there should be sequels since there are a handful of action stars that should make appearances, whether briefly or as one of the main stars.

Next up we have “The Expendables 2,” released in 2012. The mission in this film you ask? One of Barney Ross’s members is killed by the villains so he is asked by his team what they will do. His response, “Track him. Find him. Kill him.” For that mission, it really plays great in this action-packed throwback.

Since the first film was so successful, you can probably guess that most of the original cast would return for more violence. Both movies depend on this elemental pride: bringing a team of famous action stars together to bring an over abundance of testosterone onscreen. This time, a few new stars signed on including the famous action star Chuck Norris and the “Muscles from Brussels” himself, Belgian actor Jean-Claude Van Damme. Chris Hemsworth’s little brother, Liam Hemsworth, who you might remember from “The Hunger Games” earlier that year, also joined the cast.

As the movie begins, the team of highly-trained Expendables is sent on a mission to rescue one of their associates. From the first lines of this rough script, we already feel the intensity of how the violence is going to be.

Finally, a mission from Mr. Church (reprised by Willis) sends the team and a new ally Maggie (the pretty Nan Yu) to recover some files from a downed airplane. Their mission is interrupted by Jean Vilain, played by Van Damme, who steals the files and murders one of the members.

Then the movie is about revenge when Ross decides to track down Vilain.

Unlike other action movies, “The Expendables 2” accepts its basic and, at times, ridiculous plot. The film appreciates the fact that it was made for fans of this type of action movies, a movie that completely copies some of the action movies from the past.

Fans that are looking to see their favorite action stars from the 80s and 90s working together on the big screen will not be disappointed, especially during the adrenaline-pumping climax where the heroes get to show off their ability to destroy things.

John P. Hanlon stated in his review, “Where the movie lacks is in its inability to overcome the shortcomings of its premise. The movie is great when the mega-stars are carrying machine guns, and it also works with its subtle and not-so-subtle nods to some of the biggest films of these star’s careers. But the movie never adds a level of intelligence or depth to the story that would leave audiences intrigued when the action slows down.”

If you’re looking for a great action film or a thoughtful film, “The Expendables 2” may not be for you. Fans of these famous action stars will be happy when they see their favorite stars back on the big screen showing how much they love their personas that made them so exciting to begin with.

“The Expendables 2” may not be for everyone, but it knows the audiences it’s for and gives audiences what they want. Those of you who miss the action films from the 80s will find it more than enough that they want more.

One part which was so funny was when Schwarzenegger’s character, Trench Mauser, says, “I’m out of bullets. I’ll be back.” Church says to him, “You’ve been back enough. I’ll be back,” and Mauser replies with, “Yippie-ki-yay.” That part I almost fell out of my chair in the theater laughing. Good thing I was the only one in the theater when I saw this movie, which was the only time that has happened, so I was able to be as loud as I wanted and say whatever I wanted because no one would be there to stop me. I said a lot of jokes and imitated every one of the actors.

Now, after a long sum up of the first two, let’s now get to “The Expendables 3,” which came out a month ago. When I saw this in the theaters, there was only one other person in the theater watching this. He was sitting in the front, while I was in the back. Rich Cline started his review of this film by saying, “Striking a tone somewhere between the po-faced original and the silly Part 2, this rampaging action nonsense is badly overcrowded and chaotic, but there's plenty of comedy and whizzy stuntwork to keep the audience entertained.” Of course the film is helped out a lot with iconic action stars and newcomers.

The movie starts with a prison break, as Ross and his team of Expendables rescue an old friend named Doc (Wesley Snipes, the same man who brought us “Blade”) then head off on one of their missions that also involves a supposed-dead enemy Conrad Stonebanks (Mel Gibson making his return since “The Passion of the Christ”), who is out to get the Expendables. So Ross and his old friend Bonaparte (Kelsey Grammar, who you might remember in the hit sitcom “Fraiser”) go and find four new members (Kellan Lutz, the hot MMA fighter Ronda Rousey, Glen Powell and professional boxer Victor Ortiz) to take on Stonebanks, but obviously the plan does not go well. For the final showdown the old team comes in, CIA boss Drummer (Harrison Ford) former colleagues Trench and Yin, and chatty newcomer Galgo (Antonio Banderas).

Since the cast keeps growing, some of the characters are brushed to the side (Crews and Li are not in the film that much), while others hover around the scenes saying their sarcastic humor. Even Schwarzenegger says his famous, “Get to the choppa” line in here, which I cracked up at. Each of the characters has their moment of action, as the film rocks from set-piece to set-piece in an overabundance of bombs, bullets and blades. All of this is enjoyable because the actors are gladly not taking any of this seriously. The scene-stealers this time are Gibson, who is enjoying this role as the villain like Van Damme was in the last movie, and Banderas, who’s hilarious and is very much like Rocket Raccoon from “Guardians of the Galaxy.”

Cline said in his review, “The film's simplistic morality dictates that none of the Expendables will meet their maker; instead, anyone who dares to confront them must die, which in this case means hundreds of faceless soldiers whose violent deaths are treated as meaningless (and edited cynically to get a PG-13/12A rating that lets kids watch).” Since the action is nonstop, it doesn’t allow much time to recollect yourself or to think about the plotholes. This is a movie that tells its audiences to just sit back and enjoy the violence, gasp the insane stunts and love the not-so-good digital effects that allow these old men to get into a lot of physical brawls. Cline ended his review by saying, “Not to mention the plastic surgery that almost makes them look like they belong in the middle of the fray instead of at home playing with their grandkids.”

In the end, I thoroughly found myself enjoying this trilogy, even though I admit that these are mindless action flicks. Producer Avi Lerner stated that there will be a fourth and fifth movie. Also, they are planning to have a spin-off with female action stars called “The ExpendaBellas.” It's sad that Bruce Willis did not return, but that was because of money negotiations where he wanted $4 million, but they gave him $3 million. They sadly couldn't even get Mickey Rourke to reprise his role as Tool, but he wasn't even in the film that much. Seagal said that he didn't want to be a part of this franchise because of a bad experience he had with Avi Lerner. If you haven’t seen this trilogy, definitely check it out. It's worth renting on DVD. The third movie might not be in theaters, but if it’s playing in your area, go see it, if you have seen the first two. If not, then wait for the DVD to come out. Remember, go see the first 2 movies before seeing the third one.

Thank you for joining in on this long post on "The Expendables trilogy." Stay tuned this Friday when we finally finish off "3 Ninjas Month."