Judge Dredd

The first voice hear in “Judge Dredd,” released in 1995, is James Earl Jones reading the words that move up the screen, describing a future society where most of the Earth is a wasteland and humans hide in closed, violent megacities. Jones’ voice and the words moving up the screen are reminders of “Star Wars.” Hearing him read them is a reminder that in 1977, when “Star Wars” was released, audiences didn’t need to have them read. Roger Ebert described in his review, “We are getting closer to the wasteland every day.”

Ebert continued, “The movie is based on a comic book series about that future time, when anarchy reigns, and the citizens massacre one another in “Block Wars,” using machineguns to fight violent battles just for the fun of it, I guess, since the movie never really provides their motivation.” The only officers for law and order are the Judges – heavily armed and armored cops who are both judge and jury, and often execute criminals right there.

Dredd is played by Sylvester Stallone, who is right for a role like this because he’s smart and funny enough to pull it off. However, the screenplay gives him little help with a love interest (Diane Lane) who never really connects, a comic sidekick named Fergie (Rob Schneider) who looks completely out of tune, and catchphrases (“I am the law” and “I knew you’d say that”) that isn’t on the same level as “Make my day” or even “I’ll be back.” Ebert described, “The special effects are messy and cluttered, but atmospheric; they show us a Megacity that looks like a cross between the cities in “Blade Runner” and “Total Recall,” with buildings towering into the sky and gangs rumbling in the streets and helpful neon signs that say things like “Store.”” Judge Dredd and his partner Judge Hershey (Lane) patrol the streets and shoot out the bad guys, and Dredd arrests Fergie for being in the apartment of some outlaws Dredd has just killed.

“But I had only been there five minutes!” Fergie yells.

“You could have jumped out of the window.”

“Forty floors up? That would be suicide!”

“But it’s legal,” says Dredd, who is an unbending law officer until he, himself, is accused of the murder of a TV newsman, played by Mitchell Ryan. How do they know he did it? Well, the guns of the future imprint each bullet with the DNA of the person who fired it, and so Dredd is sent to Aspen Prison Colony. Then we find out from Senior Judge (Max Von Sydow) that Dredd was cloned, and has a twin brother (Armand Assante) who could have been given the same DNA. Ebert said, “This is an angle the Simpson defense team shouldn’t overlook.”

The movie happily borrows from everywhere. Ebert noted, “Besides the movies already mentioned, it lifts bits of “Mad Max” and “The Hills Have Eyes” in a subplot involving the Angel family, who live in a cave in the hinterlands and barbecue their human victims.” One of the Angel brothers (Scott Wilson, Christopher Adamson, Ewen Bremner, and Phil Smeeton) has a dial implanted in his forehead, so his anger level can be adjusted. That is nice. His IQ looks like it is set on Defrost.

Ebert noted, ““Judge Dredd” never slows down enough to make much sense; it’s a “Blade Runner” for audiences with Attention Deficit Disorder.”

Stallone survives it, but his supporting cast, also including an uninvolved Joan Chen and an insanely intense Jurgen Prochnow, isn’t well used. Only Assante, as the rogue Judge who frames his brother, holds up under the material, although the movie doesn’t exploit the brother part, maybe because that would have involved dialogue of more than one sentence at a time.

I have to admit, I consider this film a guilty pleasure. I know it’s not good, seeing how this has so many action clichés, silly lines, and over-the-top performances, but that’s what makes it enjoyable. Check it out to see a product of the 90s and have some laughable fun while watching it.

Much to my surprise, they made a reboot in 2013 simply titled “Dredd.” About five minutes in, an incendiary bullet from Judge Dredd’s hand-cannon incinerates a criminal’s brain inside his own skull.

Jonathan Crocker said in his review, “He drops, glowing like a human halloween pumpkin. Dredd grimaces. Call it a statement of intent.”

The helmet stays on and the gloves are off in screenwriter Alex Garland’s dark, very violent reboot, which aims to erase all memories of Sylvester Stallone and Rob Schneider from our heads.

Crocker said, “Faithfully refusing to give 2000AD’s super-cop (Karl Urban) a noble human face, sardonic quips or a cuddly-wuddly backstory, Garland wastes no time trapping Dredd and psychic rookie Cassandra (Olivia Thirlby) in a 200-storey skyrise tower block controlled by drug baroness Ma-Ma (Lena Headey).”

Back to the future?

We’ve been here before. Crocker noted, “Trouble is, Urban and Thirlby grimly battling waves of henchmen in a concrete rat-trap of corridor-to-corridor combat never comes close to matching The Raid ’s sensational floor-to-ceiling carnage.”

Crocker continued, “What’s worse, Dredd’s story might be even skimpier than Gareth Evans’ indonesian ripsnorter.”

But if it’s cheese, it’s hard cheese.

Moving forward like a classic Verhoeven movie, Dredd keeps you engaged with dull charisma and some expressionless intense violence. Crocker noted, “Bullets split faces, brains spill like dropped porridge and, at one point, Urban flattens a man’s windpipe with his fist.”

Gore even spills outside the frame, just one of the lovely surrealist touches from top cinematographer Anthony Dod Mantle, who gives his first 3D film a dirty style that goes some way to disguising its low budget.

Thanks to a sci-fi narcotic that makes audiences feel as if time is moving very slow of its normal speed (that’s Garland for you), Dredd gets to rely heavily on slow motion, letting blood, water drops, and broken glass fly elegantly in stereoscopic space.

Crocker said, “More colour comes from Headey’s B-movie villain, Wood Harris (The Wire’s Avon Barksdale) as her right-hand thug and Thirlby’s likeable counterweight to Dredd’s stoicism as the sweetie with a hard centre.”

It’s a tough role for Urban, whose chin gives the performance of its career.

Having co-starred amazingly in several franchises (LOTR, Riddick, Bourne, Star Trek), he may not really be good enough (or bad enough?) to give this unknown law officer a really memorable wrecking ball personality.

Crocker ended his review by saying, “But if his head looks a little lost inside that helmet, that growly grimace remains rock-steady.”

This film actually is enjoyable to watch. Surprising at how violent it is, but I think this was trying to capture the essence of the original comic it was based on. Check it out and see for yourself.

Well, everyone, we have reached the end of the month, but not the end of “Buddy Cop Month.” There will be a continuation of this a few months later, so stay tuned for that. In the meantime, next month we will be looking at films that star someone that I have been wanting to look at for quite some time now.