The Crow: Wicked Prayer

Felix Vasquez started his review by saying, “Rule number one: Casting one of the most irritating actors of all time in a sequel to one of my favorite movies of all time is not a wise move, and is right earning of an old fashioned smack down. The newest horrific sequel to one of the best films I’ve ever seen earns itself a place in my hate list casting Eddie Furlong as the hero.” Furlong is just not meant to be a protagonist, and that’s one of the many mistakes of “The Crow: Wicked Prayer,” released in 2005. It’s bad enough everyone here looks uninterested, but Furlong’s character Jimmy Cuervo is a boring man who has no portrayal.

We don’t know a lot about him except that he’s in love with Lilly, played by Emmanuelle Chriqui, and really lives in a trailer. That’s all we find out before he is murdered. Jimmy is a boring protagonist being played by a boring actor, and everyone else from Chriqui, to David Boreanaz, to Tara Reid looks as if they’re just following what is written, and nothing more. Their reaction to Jimmy showing up again is painfully underplayed and facepalming. “I don’t believe it,” says one guy in a delivery with no feeling. Furlong has practically no screen time, hence his transformation as the crow is not engaging as is the rest of the film. The good thing is we don’t need a remake of “The Crow” after this. We’ve already had three that did nothing but repeat the first and never tried to explore new areas of this story.

Vasquez mentioned, “But “Wicked Prayer” is the most blatant of the cribbing taking the entire story of Eric Draven and dropping into the Mexican setting, while Cuervo ends up as the more feminine counterpart to Eric Draven possessing make up that makes him look like a darn KISS fan boy. There is the hero in a suit rising from the grave, looking into a mirror, flashbacks in shades of red, his smashing of his furniture, destroying all his past mementos and his dramatic walk with the crow.” Everything is completely boring and safe, and there’s yet to be a new original idea with the story and concept, which is a complete shame.

Not to mention Boreanaz (famous for playing Angel in “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” and the spin-off “Angel”) as “Death” possessing the power of the crow without dying is also very unoriginal of the trashy sequel “City of Angels” yet was somehow done with a much better effect because that villain was very scary, while Boreanaz is boring. Vasquez noted, “The mystique and Gothic mood is all but disintegrated, but that’s moot in a pretty wretched piece of trash such as “The Crow: Wicked Prayer”. Don’t worry, Brandon, your film has yet to be tarnished or touched high on the throne, so rest easy; Furlong, you gave it your best shot, now it’s time to hit the road.” “The Crow: Wicked Prayer” is a garbage disposal because it’s just a third remake of the first film, and it fails in repeating what made the first film so fantastic.

The villains are people who call themselves by the names of the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse or “Plagues of Armageddon:” Death (Boreanaz), War (Marcus Chong), Famine (Tito Ortiz), and Pestilence (Yuji Okumoto). Even the late Dennis Hopper is in here as “El Niño.”

I’m sorry guys, but we have reached the lowest of the low in this franchise. This is the worst film in the franchise, hands down. If you ever get the chance to pass up this heinous movie, do so, and even bother to even think it was created. Just stick with the first movie and never try to ever see the other sequels in the franchise because it will make you just wish the franchise stayed at one film.

Oh, thank goodness I’m done with this month. I’m sorry all of you had to sit through how progressively worse the franchise got, but you had to know. Now that you know, we have ended “The Crow Month.” Stay tuned to see what I will review next month.