All the Time in the World

Ok, I just can't wait any longer. I have to get this review out of the way, or else I think I might just go crazy. Now, the third Spy Kids film came out in 2003, and you thought that Robert Rodriguez would have just left it as a trilogy that died in the third film, which is normally the case when it comes to trilogies. However, he didn't leave it there, and instead came out with a fourth installment 8 years later. In 2011, we got the most shameful sequel to a franchise that could have gone on for a long time, but instead killed it off, "Spy Kids 4D: All the Time in the World." You might be wondering, "What is 4D?' Well, according to Carey Bryson from About.com, "3D movie with Aromascope cards to convey the smell in certain scenes of the movie." Now that we got that out of the way, onto the review, which I just want to get over with immediately.

So the film starts off with the drop dead gorgeous actress, Jessica Alba, playing OSS Agent Marissa Cortez Wilson, who is Juni and Carmen's aunt. Just like in the first movie, she is expecting a baby, and is going to retire after she gives birth. Gee...does that NOT SOUND FAMILIAR!!!!! After she finally manages to arrest the villain Tick-Tock (no, I am not making that up), played by Jeremy Piven, she goes into labor and gives birth to her daughter, Maria Wilson/Spy Baby, played by Belle Solorzano and Genny Solorzano. Her husband, Wilbur, played by Joel McHale, hosts a spy catching show, not knowing that Marissa is a retired spy. He tries to spend enough time with his children, Rebecca and Cecil Wilson, played by Rowan Blanchard and Mason Cook, but can't because of his work. Also, time seems to be speeding up now, and everyone is losing track of time...literally. Time is speeding up to the end of the world. Tick-Tock has broken out, and is working for a villain known as the Timekeeper, also played by Piven. Just like in the last one, I have to ask, why give him that name. Wouldn't you call him the Timestealer since he is stealing time from everyone, not keeping it for himself?

Anyway, Rebecca hates her stepmom, Marissa, and is always trying to play a prank on her. In case you are wondering, Rebecca and Cecil's mom is dead, but she is mentioned while looking at her photos and when they talk about her. Another on-going annoyance is that Rebecca and Cecil keep betting with one another and say they owe each other a dollar. And yes, it does get old, "really" fast. Now Cecil is a genius who is really good at cracking codes, which I have to say is pretty cool, despite the fact that this film is a pain to sit through.

Now Marissa gets thrown back into action after her boss, strangely named Danger D'Amo, also played by Piven, throws her back into action. She takes Maria with her, and leaves Rebecca in the care of her red-sapphire necklace, which is the key to the Timekeeper's plan. When the house is under attack, their dog, Argonaut, voiced by the funny insult comic, Ricky Gervais, (a role I'm sure he wants to forget) talks to them about how to escape. Now guess what they use to get away from the Timekeeper's minions and get to the OSS? Vomit bags, and I am not kidding. Rebecca and Cecil meet Carmen, and Juni comes out of retirement to help them, saying that he was out being independent, which ironically, didn't work out so well. Also, when the minions come into the OSS and the kids try to get away, Argonaut asks them to do some things that makes him leak out oil, defecate silver balls that either make the minions trip or they are smoke bombs, and just for being funny, which it's not, they pull his paw, and he farts out a green gas. That's the main problem with this film, there are feces jokes and fart jokes that are not even funny, many of which involves Maria. Come on, every time you attempt that joke, it just makes it even more juvenile. Maria farts like 8 times, because the first one was just pure gold. They have to really keep showing that because that will make the audience laugh even more, or so they think.

Every time Rebecca and Cecil fight, it's like, "stop it already, it's starting to get really old and really annoying." When Juni enters in the picture again, Carmen and him start fighting like little kids again. What type of audience would want to sit through this torture? According to Bryson:

"The action and humor are similar to the original movie, but less original, because the concept has of course been done before. The new spy gadgets are less abundant and less creative. In fact, the movie mostly focuses on Step-mom Marissa and her ridiculous spying while pregnant or with a baby in tow. Overall, the storyline about the importance of not wasting time could have been a cool message to slide into an action movie, but it was also overdone and underwhelming. Kids may like this movie, but only a very narrow age range will love it.

"The movie contains some sibling bickering and a few rude words like "butt." Also expect the usual farting and poop jokes thanks to the baby. Some perilous scenes may be frightening to young children" (Bryson).

I just can't believe that such a great film series that could have been James Bond for kids had turned down to this torture. It's just unbelievable. What a shame! This feels like it's trying to either re-hash the first one or try and start over, since it was so great in the first one. Just because it worked the first time doesn't mean that you can try and do it again. It won't work!!!!! An example of this is where they have Carmen say her famous, "Oh shitake mushrooms" line that was so perfectly done in the first one. I actually thought she swore in the first one when she said that, but when I saw the quote on IMDB, then I realized what she actually said. You want to know what else? It wasn't funny here...really. Also, "it is the first of the series that uses "Aroma-scope" that allows people to smell odors and aromas from the film via scratch & sniff cards (reminiscent of the infamous 1960s Smell-O-Vision) last used theatrically in the 2003 animated film Rugrats Go Wild. This is the first film without the participation of Antonio Banderas and Carla Gugino and the first film without the distribution of Walt Disney Studios Motion Pictures and Miramax Films" (Wikipedia). You want to know what else? "Dimension Films announced in February 2012 that Spy Kids 5 was under talks to begin production possibly later in 2012 with an unknown (even prospective) release date. The original cast is expected to return" (Wikipedia). Why? This film was so bad, why keep dragging it on? It's just like what they are doing with the Scary Movie franchise, since I heard the fifth one was so bad. Just stop please.

Phew, what a relief! I finally got that over with. Thanks for joining in on "Spy Kids Month," and thanks for staying through the torture. I know it got painful throughout the month, but thankfully it's over and I am feeling much better. Stay tuned for more of my reviews coming right at you. I will see you all next month.

The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl

You all might be surprised that I am making this post in the morning. Well, I just want to get this film out of the way because I don't want to pro-long it to tonight. As I said this was "Spy Kids Month," but I thought May had 4 weeks instead of 5. So I guess you can call this "Robert Rodriguez Kids Film Month" with most of the month being on the Spy Kids franchise. Today's film is what you could consider a spin-off of Spy Kids, because it does share certain elements of those films. It is "The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl in 3-D," released in 2005. I didn't go see this in theaters when it came out because I thought it was just ripping off Spy Kids, but I did manage to see it either when it was free on "On Demand," or I watched it on one of the movie channels.

The story, according to the late Roger Ebert, "is an innocent and delightful children's tale that is spoiled by a disastrous decision to film most of it in lousy 3-D. Fully three quarters of the movie is in "3"-D, which looks more like 1-D to me, removing the brightness and life of the movie's colors and replacing them with a drab, listless palette, which is about as exciting as looking at a 3-D bowl of oatmeal.

"The 3-D process subtracts instead of adding. Ordinary 2-D movies look perfectly real enough for audiences and have for years; if it's not broke, don't fix it. Paradoxically, since it allegedly resembles our real-world vision, 3-D is less real than standard flat movies; 3-D acts as a distraction from character and story, giving us something to think about that during a good movie we should not be thinking about" (Ebert).

I do have to agree with him because most of the film is in 3-D. Not every film has to be in 3-D. People are just now abusing the 3-D technology, thinking that it is fancy, and just feel the need to release every single one of their new films in 3-D into the theaters. Now the origin of the film is actually quite interesting. Robert Rodriguez's son, Racer, who was 7 at the time (and also appears in this film as Sharkboy when he was 7), told him a story about a boy who grew gills and a fin and became half-shark, and a girl who incorporated fiery volcanic elements. Rodriguez encouraged his son to keep working on the story. Bad idea. The story is about Max, played by Cayden Boyd, who is a daydreamer, just like how Juni, in the first Spy Kids, wonders away by watching Floop on TV and wishes he was in the show. Max is picked on in school by a bully named Linus, played by Jacob Davich, because he carries around his Dream Journal, where he writes about Sharkboy and Lavagirl. When a tornado appears when there is a clear sky outside, Sharkboy, played by a young Taylor Lautner (another actor who put viewers to shame by appearing in "Twilight"), and Lavagirl, played by Taylor Dooley, tell Max that they need to take him to their home planet, Planet Drool, which sounds like something out of "Spaceballs" if you think about it. Max created Planet Drool, and it will be destroyed by darkness in the next 45 minutes. Sounds like your typical kid’s story. Why was this made into a film again?

So our trio go to the Planet, and they go through some interestingly named places, like the Stream of Consciousness, the Sea of Confusion, riding a Train of Thought, before arriving at a Dream Lair. Seriously, this shouldn't have been a kid’s film. It sounds like second grade fan-fiction, which is what it pretty much is. When they arrive there, they find Minus, who is also played by Davich. From there, many adventures just come about, some of them involving the Ice Princess, played by Sasha Pieterse, and a robot named Tobor, as well as an all-knowing character named Mr. Electric, which Max created out of his teacher, Mr. Electricidad. Want to know something? All three of these characters are played by the very funny Latino comedian who had his own Nickelodeon sitcom and hosted a late-night talk show for a while, George Lopez. "Mr. Electric appears as a big round smiling face in a frame outfitted with spindly arms and legs, and floats about like a busybody commentator, offering advice, issuing warning, and making a general nuisance of himself; one of his peculiarities is that he won't allow the kids on the planet to stop playing -- ever" (Ebert). What kind of a villain is that? I understand if you give kids a lot of time to play, like in the park or in the day-care center with their friends or other kids, but they'll eventually get tired after a while. Kids do have a lot of energy compared to adults, which I can easily agree with, but they do get tired as well, but not as easily as adults do. One of the ways Mr. Electric makes them play non-stop is having a group trapped on a roller coaster that never stops. Talk about a ride where a vomit bag is completely necessary to have with you.

"Sharkboy and Lavagirl" has the same upbeat charm that Rodriguez put into his "Spy Kids" trilogy, and the screenplay done by his 7-year-old son, Racer, involves "the kind of free-wheeling invention that kids enjoy; this is a movie where dream logic prevails" (Ebert). There is also the resemblance of having parents, including Max's, played by former WCW professional wrestler, David Arquette, and Kristen Davis. Because the real world scenes are in 2-D and Max's dreams and the Planet Drool scenes are in 3-D, we get an idea of what the movie would have looked like without the unnecessary dimension. Just like how in "Spy Kids 3-D: Game Over," there are moments where a sign flashes telling its viewers when to put on and take off the eye hurting 3-D glasses. Still though, I think this story would have been better as a kid’s book instead of a feature-film. However, I will say that this is something that families can see together, even though I think the parents won't enjoy it very much.

Well, next week is the finale of this month-long marathon. If you thought Rodriguez would have learned to stop with the "Spy Kids" film, and left it as a trilogy, think again. Even though I think everyone doesn't want to wait, just sit tight, we're almost done with this catastrophe.

Game Over (3D)

For those of you who might remember that back in the 80s, horror films were released in theaters in 3D. However, it was a very cheap gimmick, but now has turned into an expensive gimmick. Wherever you turn, there is a new film being released in 3D. Now, 3D may look like a cool tool to use, but your eyes get strained from wearing those glasses for a long time. I have seen films in 3D to know the experience, and I don't like it. I believe the film that started the 3D trend again was "Spy Kids 3D: Game Over," released in 2003.

Boy, did I make the mistake of seeing this in theaters when it was released. Sure, I may have liked it than, but I was only a teenager at the time, I didn't know any better. Now looking back, I can see how the 3D in that film did not look all that great. Not everything felt like it would come out at you and you could just grab with your own bare hands. Even the late Roger Ebert said in his review of this film:

"As a way of looking at a movie, 3-D sucks, always has, maybe always will. Apart from the thrill rides at Disney World, I have seen one 3-D process that looks good and really works, and that is high-end IMAX 3-D with the $150 glasses. But the last time I saw a 3-D movie at IMAX ("Ghosts of the Abyss"), they were back to the cheap cardboard jobs. The problems with 3-D are: (1) It is pointless except when sticking things in the audience's eyes; (2) It is distracting when not pointless; and (3) It dims the colors and makes the image indistinct" (Ebert).

See, even he didn't like 3D as well. Even if this film wasn't in 3D, it wouldn't have saved the fact that the story was just fluff. Want to know what the story in this one is? Well, it's your pain that you have to sit through and read this. Here it goes:

As you all know at the end of the second film, Juni decides to leave the OSS and starts his own private eye agency. For instance, one of the stuff is that he finds lost toys. Boy, isn't that exciting? One of the girls, who is played by the aggravating pop singer that landed a role in Disney's "Wizards of Waverly Place," Selena Gomez, tells Juni that the water park isn't working. Juni eventually finds out and tells her that the amusement park people shut it down because it's Winter. Nah, really? Later on, he goes back home and sits in his tree house that you would also remember from the second film, when Gerti comes in using her pigtails for flying, and gives him a valuable lesson about family. Apparently, Carmen hasn't been around, but later on finds out from Devlin that she is missing. Juni goes back to the OSS, and keeps telling them that he is an "ex-Agent." What a moron! Why didn't you like being in the OSS? Did they ever explain that? He meets up with Donovan and his wife, Francesca, played by a Mexican actress that I am head over heels in love with, Salma Hayek, who tell him that Carmen was sent into a virtual reality video game, that kids don't stop playing. It has 5 levels, but the 5th level is unwinnable. The creator of this game is called Sebastian the Toymaker, played by action star from the 80s along with Schwarzenegger, Sylvester Stallone. Why call him The Toymaker if he created a video game? Wouldn't you call him the Gamemaker? That would have made much more sense. What, before he was imprisoned by the OSS, did he make Toys? So, in order to get Carmen back, Juni must go into the game and find her.

Now, Juni meets up with three beta testers, Francis (Bobby Edner), Arnold (Ryan Pinkston) and Rez (Robert Vito), who at first launch him to the moon in order to have fewer distractions in reaching Level 5. Juni is then offered a partner, and he chooses his grandfather, Valentin, who apparently became handicapped because of The Toymaker. Later on, Francis, Arnold, and Rez think that Juni is "The Guy," who can take them to Level 5 and beat the game. However, he is not. Also, Juni meets up with Demetra, played by Courtney Jines, who is The Deceiver, a program used to fool players. Juni finds out about Demetra through Carmen.

Here's another shocker: Alexa Vega sang 2 songs for this movie. One was the main theme, "Game Over," and the other was a duet with Bobby Edner called "Heart Drive."

I feel that Robert Rodriguez did not take the time to look through this film before he released it. It would have been a whole lot better if he made it true to what made this series so great, instead of having the third film fall flat on its face and giving his audience a major disappointment that they feel they could have spent their money on theater tickets for a much better film that was released that same summer. Also, why do they call this supposed person that can beat the game "The Guy." Couldn't a better name have been used to describe that person? Also, Elijah Wood makes a brief cameo in this film that he probably regrets doing now, looking back. However, there are certain light-hearted moments that make this film enjoyable. Like Stallone having multiple-personalities (three versions of himself) that he talks to, and celebrity supporting appearances (George Clooney, Steve Buscemi, Bill Paxton, Mike Judge). Still, sadly, this film was not ready to be released when it was. Rodriguez should have reworked a good majority of the film to make it work. Having it in 3D for a good portion of the film wasn't going to save it from the horrible plot, even if it was engaging. It shouldn't have been made in 3D to begin with because the 3D wasn't even all that impressive. Hopefully Rodriguez learns and stops right here in this series, leaving it as a shameful trilogy.

Well, since I misjudged how many weeks there would be this month, next week I will review a film that you could say is a spin-off of this series.

Iron Man trilogy

Special treat today everyone. Since I have seen "Iron Man 3" today, I would like to review the entire trilogy before I talk about the third installment. Like how Doug Walker does when he reviews a new sequel to a film, he would talk about the previous installments before he would review the new one. Here it goes, so sit back and enjoy the Iron Man trilogy review. Although I don't think it will stay a trilogy, but as of right now, let's call it "the Supposed Trilogy."

Now the first "Iron Man" film came out in 2008. It's one of the best superhero films ever made and another one of my all time favorite comic book adaptations. In my opinion, this is the third best Marvel movie. Robert Downey, Jr., who I have to say is one of the best actors out there, gets the snot-nosed, billionaire playboy philanthropist image of Tony Stark down pat. You just want to smack him right into his senses and say to him, "Hey man, what in the world do you think you are doing?" He is just one of those characters that you feel needs to learn about getting along with others and not be a complete jerk to them all the time. When he comes out of the casino, and charms reporter Christine Everheart, played by Leslie Bibb, into a one-night stand, you know Downey has the playboy side of Stark down. In the role of Stark's assistant, Pepper Pots, we have one of the most prettiest actresses of all time, Gwyneth Paltrow. She plays Pepper as a character that knows Tony from the inside out, and is a strong woman that even after all the stuff Tony does, sticks with him through it all. Tony's business partner, Obadiah Stane, is played by The Dude himself, Jeff Bridges. What a character, if I may say. I mean, what a character? You know that he is up to something every single time you see him. It's Pepper who is told about Stane's activities, thanks to "Strategic Homeland Intervention, Enforcement and Logistics Division" (S.H.I.E.L.D.) agent, Phil Coulson, played by Clark Gregg, who you might remember from such sitcoms like "The West Wing" and "Will & Grace." Now, Tony's friend, Lieutenant Commander James Rhodes, is played by Terence Howard. I do have to say, Jon Favreau doesn't really give Rhodes enough screen-time, doesn't he? He just leaves Rhodes on the edge, wanting us to have more of Rhodes, or Rhodey as they call him.

Now the stuff that Stark does in Afghanistan is just unbelievable. Whenever you see Stark making a new device, whether if it was in the cave in Afghanistan or in his lab at home, you get hooked immediately. You just love seeing him tinkering around with his computer or his gadgets, creating some sort of weapon or enhancement to his suit, which is just the best. Stark is also helped by his Artificial Intelligence (A.I.), JARVIS, voiced by Paul Bettany, whenever he asks JARVIS to power up the suit, take some stats, or anything else that is suit related. How can you not like someone who makes new stuff all the time for his combat? It's the same for Batman; he created new gadgets whenever he was in the Bat Cave. This was for a new villain that Batman would fight. Favreau really kept to the original idea of what made the Iron Man comics so great. Being helped by Dr. Yinsen, played by Shawn Toub, in the cave was like Stark was Bond, and Yinsen was Q. The action in this film is some of the best in a comic book film. After making such a big build-up by having Tony spend a lot of time digging out of the cave in Afghanistan, coming back home, enhancing his suit, and going up against a villain that is just as strong as he, it would come as no surprise that they would have Tony go up against the villain. Especially since he created a missile called "Jericho," a missile that the military wants. At the end, when he doesn't get Pepper, and going on Live TV announcing that he is Iron Man, is just the best. Spoiler Alert: after the credits, Agent Nick Fury, played by the king of saying mother****er, Samuel L. Jackson, gets into Tony's mansion and tells him that Fury wants Stark to be part of a team. This was the first film that led up to the much anticipated "The Avengers" film, which I will eventually get to.

Next was the 2010 sequel, "Iron Man 2." For some reason, people didn't like this one. Here's what I thought about it: even though a lot of the film doesn't really have much action, I thought it really delved deep into what happens to a celebrity. Since Stark is one of the most well-known celebrities, he shows that with the media attention and getting all of these girls, the fame can really get to a man. He doesn't want to let go of his gadgets, even though he is being pressured by the government, the press, and the public to share his inventions. This is where you see Stark going downhill, despite the fact that Pepper and Rhodey are trying to snap him out of it. Oh, I almost forgot, Howard doesn't reprise his role as Rhodey. According to a Yahoo user, Desk3Bound, who posted this answer for a Yahoo question: "There was some monetary problems as Terrence Howard ended up with a bigger paycheck than the stars or even the director. Some arguing and contract renegotiations and Howard was out" (Desk3Bound). Now in the role of Rhodey, we have one of the coolest actors out there, Don Cheadle, playing the role, who I have to say does the part really well.

Another thing I would like to mention is that Pepper is appointed CEO of Stark Industries, and Stark hires Natasha Romanoff, played by another very gorgeous actress, who started her film career at a young age, Scarlett Johansson, as his personal assistant. What Stark doesn't know, and he finds out half-way through the movie, is that she is Black Widow, who is part of the "Avengers Initiative" program, led by Agent Fury. Romanoff is an agent of S.H.I.E.L.D., which is a counter-terrorism agency. Fury and Romanoff explain to him what is going on, and snap him out of it so he can get his head on straight, since the villain in this film is actually one of the best comic book villains on screen. He is none other than Russian physicist, Ivan Vanko aka Whiplash, who is played by one of the greatest actors who was popular in the 80s, but wasn't around in the 90s, but now is back and got his career started again with "The Wrestler," Mickey Rourke. Rourke is just great. He gets the Russian accent down pat, and he really portrays an evil Iron Man character just pitch perfect. Whiplash is being helped by weapons specialist, Justin Hammer, played by Sam Rockwell, who is a man that just wants to get rid of Stark. Also, Rhodey taking one of the Iron Man suits and turning it over to the military, and fighting alongside Stark when going up against Whiplash probably will remind you of the epic duo of Batman and Robin. Or you could compare them to Roger Murtaugh and Martin Riggs from the "Lethal Weapon" series. Another note, John Slattery from "Mad Men" is in here as a recording of Tony's father, Howard Stark, who Tony did not get along with as a child.

Another Spoiler Alert: at the end before the credits role, there is a debriefing about the incident with the Hulk (this came out after "The Incredible Hulk" film), and Fury tells Stark that even though Iron Man is a suitable candidate for the "Avengers Initiative," Stark is not. Stark says that he will instead be a "consultant" if Senator Stern, played by comedian Gary Shandling, is the one who awards him and Rhodey the Medal of Honor. Post-Credits show Agent Coulson reporting the finding of a giant hammer in the New Mexico desert. This hints at "Thor," which is another comic book film that I will get to eventually, before I do "The Avengers."

Now for the epic third installment, "Iron Man 3," which actually came out 8 days ago. Unlike the first two, which were directed by Favreau, this one is directed and written by Shane Black. Will people that didn't like the second one like this one? Yes they will. The film actually opens up in a flashback, when Stark was in Switzerland and he met scientist Maya Hansen, played by Rebecca Hall, who tells Tony about her latest invention. This is called the Extremis, an experimental regenerative treatment intended to allow recovery from crippling injuries. Stark rejects, even after being offered a place in the company by Aldrich Killian, played by Guy Pearce. Years later, little does Stark know that they will be hunting him down, with the help from The Mandarin, played by a very well-known actor, Ben Kingsley, in spreading the Extremis virus. That too, on Christmas Day, which is the day this entire film takes place on. They even get people like Eric Saven, played by James Badge Dale, and Ellen Brandt, played by Stephanie Szostak, exposed to the virus, and they are just unstoppable....well, sort of. Also, all of the people that are injected with the Extremis virus will remind you of the T-1000 from "Terminator 2." I will stop right here and say to everyone: if you want to know what happens, go out and watch the film.

Overall, this film is a really huge improvement for those who did not like the second film. It has great action, very good dialogue, and some nice comedic moments so that you don't feel this film is getting too dark. However, fans of the comic book series will be disappointed at the climax, which I will not spoil, but it has to do with The Mandarin. Also, Ty Simpkins is lucky to be the first kid casted in the Iron Man series as Harley, a person who is having parental issues. Ashley Hamilton portrays Jack Taggert, one of the Extremis soldiers, William Sadler plays President Ellis, and Miguel Ferrer plays Vice President Rodriguez. There are also reporter cameos made by Josh Elliott, Megan Henderson, Pat Kiernan, and Thomas Roberts, and other cameos made by comedian Bill Maher and Joan Rivers and Fashion Police co-host, George Kotsiopoulos. What is unbelievable about this film is that Stark does not learn. You just want to hurt him so much because he doesn't seem to stop acting like a complete self-absorbed jerk that you just want to strangle. The biggest mistake he makes is that after The Mandarin attacks Stark's former bodyguard and chauffeur, who is now head of Stark Industries security, Happy Hogan, played by Favreau, he gives away his home address on Live TV. What kind of an idiot does that? And later on, when he says, "Why are they all coming over here? I had issued a threat and I thought they would be scared." Hello, you just gave the enemy your home address you dweeb, why wouldn't they show up on your doorstep?

The last action sequence is just great, with Stark and Rhodey on the boat to take down The Mandarin and stop the spread of the Extremis, Stark actually has all of his Iron Man prototypes come in, being controlled by JARVIS, and help them both out with the number of henchmen The Mandarin has injected with the Extremis. Spoiler alter: post credits you see Stark speaking to Dr. Bruce Banner, played by Mark Ruffalo, who normally does romantic flicks, but was also Banner in "The Avengers." Stark is telling Dr. Banner about his life story, Dr. Banner falls asleep, when Stark wakes him up, Dr. Banner says that psychology is not his line of study, and that he cannot help him. This is probably either going to hint at a Iron Man and The Incredible Hulk crossover, or a build up to "The Avengers 2." We'll see, but in the meantime, go out and watch "Iron Man 3," you will be pleased to see it, especially if you hated the second one.

Island of Lost Dreams

Welcome back to Spy Kids month. So you know what I thought of the first film, where it was a clever, new idea about a couple of kids as spies. It had a great family theme, and they grew close to one another as the film went on, much like William Faulkner's classic novel, As I Lay Dying. But what can be said about the 2002 sequel, "Spy Kids 2: The Island of Lost Dreams?" Well, if you want to know, let's take a look at the film.

The film starts off with Carmen and Juni facing a very tough competition between two other spy kids, Gary and Gerti Giggles, played by Matt O'Leary and Emily Osment. They are the children of Donnogan Giggles, played by Mike Judge. You know, one of the agents that Carmen and Juni rescued from the first film, that had a very minor part? He's the villain in this one. Juni has a really awesome looking device, a robotic bug that he keeps in his pocket as a personal valet. Also, Gary and Juni fight a lot since Carmen has a crush on Gary. Does Juni have a crush on Gerti? Actually no, he has a crush on the bratty Alexandra, played by Taylor Momsen, the daughter of the President of the USA, played by Christopher McDonald. Going to a theme park, where the owner, Dinky Winks (I did not make that up), played by Bill Paxton, invites them in. Is it me, or was this guy doing marijuana before shooting this film? He has surprisingly a lot of energy here. At the park, she devises a plan to ruin a theme park ride with the transmooker device, a device that can shut off all electronic devices. Juni and Gary go to save her, Alexandra is punished, Gary starts a fight with Juni that makes him lose his award for best Spy Kid of the year, and Juni is also fired. Jeez Louise, Gary is one of those kids you want to just strangle, don't you?

Now here is a shocker, Donnogan wants to use this Trasnmooker device to, you guessed it, take over the world. To stop him, Carmen and Juni go on to their second mission, which is to follow his trail to an island that has a strange name...Liki-Liki. Sounds like an African island, doesn't it? Hold on a second, it's near Madagascar. A scientist named Romero, played by the great Steve Buscemi, who attempted to create genetically-miniaturized animals, but instead ended up with his island of weird animals, like a pig with wings and a spider man for instance. Talk about something that will make your kids scared. He is just one of your typical lune scientists, which is just cliché. Fighting skeletons, being captured by sporks, Gregorio and Ingrid go to rescue the kids, and are accompanied by Ingrid's parents, Valentin and Helga Avellan, played by Holland Taylor and Khan from "Star Trek 2," the late Ricardo Montalban.

Overall, I would say that this sequel still has the light-hearted entertainment that made the first one so loveable, but it does get dark, Gary and Donnogan are just over-the-top, Gary and Gerti just want the fame, and Romero is your clichéd scientist. Parents, just be careful and hold your children tight if they get scared at any moment that you think makes the film too dark. The late Roger Ebert described that this film "uses the same formula as the wonderful 2001 original: bright colors, weird gimmicks, fanciful special effects, goofy villains, sassy dialogue and lots of moxie" (Ebert). The dialogue still has some very clever lines, like when Carmen and Juni find the Transmooker, Carmen exclaims, "There it is!" Juni asks, "How do you know?" and Carmen responds, "Because it's big and round and in the middle of the room." So don't worry, this film still has a lot of the the same stuff from the first one, for it stays true to be like a James Bond series for kids.

One last thing to note is that Alexa Vega started a supposed singing career by singing the main theme to this film, "Isle of Dreams." Also to let you know, in case if you didn't, Vega can speak fluent Spanish. Imagine if this series just keeps on going, with Carmen and Juni's children as Spy Kids eventually? It could work, but stay tuned next week for the third installment in this series.

Spy Kids

Who would have thought that a film about kids being spies would actually be a huge hit? Well, for parents who want to show their kids a good film, you're in luck. In 2001, writer and director Robert Rodriguez delivered with "Spy Kids." I originally dismissed this movie because I thought it was silly, but when my cousin lent it to us, and I watched it, I liked it. (Just to let you know, in case you probably haven't guessed, this will be Spy Kids month). The film starts off with Ingrid Cortez, played by one of the most attractive actresses of all time, Carla Gugino, putting her children, Carmen, played by Alexa Vega, and Juni, played by Daryl Sabara, to bed. They ask for a bedtime story, and she tells them a story of two spies of the Organization of Super Spies (OSS). This is a reference to the Office of Strategic Services. What she doesn't tell the kids that it's the story of how her and their father, Gregorio, played by one of the best Hispanic actors, Antonio Banderas, were originally assigned to assassinate one another, but ended up marrying each other. They ended up retiring from the OSS because they wanted to settle down and have a family.

Now it has some the typical family dilemmas that all families might have to deal with. Carmen is upset that she has to babysit Juni all the time and feels that she needs to be responsible for only herself. However, what she doesn't tell her family, although Ingrid does know this from Carmen's teachers, is that she skips school. Also, Carmen thinks that Juni doesn't know that Carmen has to wear diapers at night because she still wets the bed. Here's a little something that my cousin said about Carmen still wearing diapers: Carmen goes through periods and that is why she wears diapers. I highly doubt that girls wear diapers at night because of their periods, but when I first saw this, I originally thought it was bedwetting. He also claims they said that Carmen is nine-years-old, but that was never mentioned in the movie and girls don't start getting periods until they hit puberty, which doesn't start at the age of nine. Juni also has some problems of his own: He is lost in a show called "Floop's Fooglies," hosted by Fegan Floop, played by Alan Cumming, and co-starred by Fooglies (colorful, mutant, gibberish speaking friends), that Gregorio openly tells Juni how much he hates the show. Juni also has wart problems because he is scared, and has imaginary friends as well. Gregorio suspects that the Fooglies are OSS Agents that have been reported missing, so Ingrid insists that they both go out to investigate like they did when they were younger.

When they do that, they leave the kids in the care of their "Uncle" Felix Gumm, played by the very funny Mexican comedian Cheech Marin, who tell the children about their parents' real identity after he finds out that they are kidnapped, and Floop's minions, the Thumb-Thumbs. This leads the kids to go out and learn how to be spies by rescuing their parents. They escape to the safe house, while Floop is also working a business deal with Mr. Lisp, played by the T-1000 himself, Robert Patrick, who is constructing an army of robotic children, created by Floop's assistant, Alexander Minion, played by the actor who would go on to star in the hit sitcom Monk, Tony Shaloub. However, the kids are missing their brains, and Mr. Lisp wants the children ready fast. On the other side, Floop feels that his show is missing something, but doesn't know what. He also calls in Gregorio and Ingrid because Gregorio was one of the scientists that worked on the "Third Brain" in the OSS, which is a secret that Gregorio kept from his family.

At the safe-house, Carmen and Juni are discovered by Ms. Gradenko, played by Lois Lane from that 90s sitcom, Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman, Teri Hatcher, to find out about the Third Brain, which the kids don't even know is in the safe-house. They escape, and find their father's older brother, Machete, played by one of the best known action stars, Danny Trejo. Carmen finds out that she and her uncle Machete have something in common, where Machete did not like babysitting and protecting Gregorio all of his life. However, along the way, Carmen and Juni grow a bond and become closer to one another as siblings.

I won't give too much away, since I probably gave away a whole lot of the plot. The late film critic, Roger Ebert, said, "Spy Kids is an intelligent, upbeat, happy movie that is not about the comedy of embarrassment, that does not have anybody rolling around in dog poop, that would rather find out what it can accomplish than what it can get away with" (Ebert). This is a new kind of spy films that you have never seen before, since this is the first one that involves kids as spies. Parents and kids will love this film since it is a film for the whole family. Also, if anyone is a fan of George Clooney, he is in this film as well as the OSS boss, Devlin. It shows a family that is not a good family since they have problems, but as the film goes on, they learn to get along with one another and start to bond as a family. If you don't have a good relationship with your family or you don't interact with your family a lot, you should. Otherwise, you will end up not having a good relationship and won't get along with your family. Speaking of which, I should start doing that as well. Stay tuned next week for the sequel.