The Cheetah Girls: One World

Disney Channel’s “The Cheetah Girls” are back once again, trying to get that big break that really launches their career.

Now having the subtitle “One World,” this 2008 sequel in the movie franchise sees the three teen rock singers traveling to India, simply because one of the girls’ cell phones has such bad reception that she mistakes the invitation on the other side and hears Bollywood instead of Hollywood.

Disney’s first “Cheetah Girls” a few years prior was credited for having heard, a good beat and a little soul. However, now only the beat remains. Marilyn Moss said in her review, “Still based on the book series by Deborah Gregory (who also co-produces here), this latest cheetah creature is bare-boned and rift of the originality it once displayed.”

Moss continued, “Dan Berendsen's story -- with teleplay by Berendsen, Nisha Ganatra and Jennifer Small -- has little originality and heart, but director Paul Hoen does all he can to perk it up. He's aided by some pounding musical numbers, though they're about as shallow as the rest of the story.”

The girls – Chanel (Adrienne Bailon), Dorinda (Sabrian Bryan) and Aquanetta (Roshan Seth) – look so desperate at times to get the story started and get moving. They scream and jump up and down as is relatable to their age, but very soon we see that’s basically all we’re going to see. Moss noted, “Fatima Robinson's choreography and Donald Duncan's photography are lively but can't really salvage the telefilm's flatness.”

The good thing is that the locations – the cities of Mumbai and Udaipur – put a little color and spark, and some songs do lighten up the film, including Cheetah Love and I’m the One, both written by Kara DioGuardi, along with Dance Me If You Can, written by Matthew Gerrard & Robbie Nevil.

However, as often happens, the story line that joins the music isn’t really at the standards. The girls get to travel, find (and sometimes lose) romance and even sing as hard as they could. Sill, sometimes determination can go just a little much, and jumping up and down and squealing can get very annoying.

I’m sorry, but after Cheetah Love, the film goes downhill very fast. The film is definitely the worst in the trilogy. There’s nothing salvageable and nothing can save it from being so bad. This is definitely the worst sequel I have seen this month. I just cannot stand this film after the opening song. Just do yourself a favor and don’t see this movie, if you liked the other films. However, if you liked the past two films and enjoy this one, I can’t say that there isn’t an audience for this, because there has to be, but for adults, just avoid this one.

Tomorrow I will be looking at the last of the “High School Musical” trilogy in “Disney Channel Original Movie Month.”

Camp Rock

Neil Genzlinger started his review by saying, “Some hacker needs to go to work on the Disney computer that randomly mixes the same 10 plot lines and 15 young actors to create new movies and television shows. One of the character threads in there, that of the spoiled teenage diva, desperately needs to be excised; it is so very, very tired that it has begun to drag down any script it finds its way into.”

Like the one for “Camp Rock,” a highly promoted musical movie starring the then new band Jonas Brothers and released in 2008 on the Disney Channel. The movie has some highlights, but a lot of it is centered on the local diva of the main camp that it’s hard to focus on the good areas. You’re so livid at having this slowly made up character that you have seen countless times.

Mitchie (Demi Lovato) really wants to attend a rich-kid rock-and-roll camp, but her family can’t afford it until her mother (Maria Pilar Canals-Barrera) gets hired as the camp rock, letting Mitchie to attend on a discount. Also at the camp is a useless rock star (Joe Jonas) doing some image therapy, along with that intolerable diva (Meaghan Jette Martin). Genzlinger said, “It’s a sort of glass-ceiling character for these movies and shows; either the writers of such stuff think that young viewers can’t handle anything more than blatantly obvious good-gal/bad-gal dynamics, or they have no idea how complex and varied real high school social life is.”

As we’ve seen before, Mitchie tries to hide her identity. The necessary romance, food fight and climactic talent show also are in the movie. Some rather toe-tapping song and dance numbers are included (many of them at the end, in the talent show).

The film has two highlights. One is when the Jonas Brothers (in the movie they’re a band called Connect Three) perform a song Play My Music to the gathered campers, showing the energy and stage presence the film’s other performers don’t have. Genzlinger said, “The other is a fleeting “Barney” wisecrack early on, Ms. Lovato having once been a cast member of that kiddie show with the irritating purple dinosaur. It goes by quickly, but it leaves something pleasant to ponder during the more formulaic patches of “Camp Rock”: it appears that either Barney has switched to a career of flipping burgers, or he has been turned into burgers.”

I’m sorry, but this movie is probably the worst I have seen. I know that’s quite a verdict to make, but this one was just so annoying to watch. I just wanted the film to end because of the constant themes that have been repeated countless times, but with these rockstar, pop artists that are nothing but teenage idiots. If you want to watch it, go ahead, but for people that are not in the age range targeted for this film, they will be really aggravated while watching this. Yes, I know this is my 900th review, and I had to make it on a film that I really got annoyed at.

Look out tomorrow when I look at the last in “The Cheetah Girls” trilogy in “Disney Channel Original Movie Month.”

Twitches Too

The enjoyment a lot of folks have with magic is very believable and has been around as long as the beginning of human life. To be able to think up objects, move things around and influence your environment with nothing more than your mind is what we would all love to have at some point. Despite most witches in fiction being villains a good witch can give great potential for an exciting story. If you start with a good witch and double her you get one of the famous films from Disney, “Twitches,” twin witches. Doug Maclean said in his review, “The film is another from Disney that is geared towards the ‘tween market so please don’t approach this movie with adult sensibilities.” It is meant to be fun for kids and be interesting for the parents. It succeeds perfectly in both ways. Since this combines the constant interest in magic with the natural request of twins they have a novel plot tool going here. Put a little royalty into the film and you have the creation of a new fairy tale for everyone. Maclean noted, “In some ways this is Disney going back to their roots and performing a bit of recombinant genetics.” Disney started with magic and witches back in the forties. They have more films and television shows with princess that is hard to keep up with. Disney even has a number of films with twins with the original and remake versions of “The Parent Trap.” It seemed only fitting for all these themes to eventually make their way into a single production.

The Disney Company basically made family entertainment. The kids watching their shows and movies are the third or fourth generation of Disney fans. This film is actually enjoyable to watch. It has humor, drama and little scary scenes, which is appropriate of everyone. “Twitches Too” is the 2007 sequel to “Twitches” but even if you never saw the first one you can quickly get into this one. Just be careful because anyone who hasn’t seen the first one will probably want to go back and watch it after seeing the sequel. Maclean noted, “This film premiered on their channel during their Halloween sweeps period and was tied in to the start of a new ‘tween series, ‘Wizards of Waverly Place’. Now the Disney Studios are releasing this movie to DVD with a ‘Double Charmed’ edition. This paradigm of premiering an original film on television and following it up a few months later with a DVD release works well. Disney always makes sure there is something on the disc that was not available on the televised version. If have a ‘tween in your home then you know this already; your DVD collection undoubtedly has more than a few Disney titles.”

The movie starts with a small recap of the first film. The story takes place in Conventry where a fight between good and evil occurred. In the middle of the fight twin daughters were born, Camryn Barnes (Tamera Mowry) and Alex Fielding (Tia Mowry). For their safety they were separated and sent to another dimension. At the age of 21 they finally met and found out they are witches with different types of magical powers. They return to Coventry, banish their evil uncle and free the land from darkness. They also found out they are princesses. At the end of the first movie it looked liked the danger was over but if it was they wouldn’t have made a sequel. The twin’s mother Queen Miranda, played by Kristen Wilson, is obviously worried. She looks at a picture of her late husband Aaron who was killed in the recent fight. Maclean noted, “As she walks through a dark passage a bluish glow follows; it calls her name. Clutching her book of spells Miranda runs out of the passage and uses her magic to seal it.” Back in the other dimension Camryn is having a difficult time mastering her magic. She is also getting used to have Alex living with her. Alex is excited about starting college. Unlike Camryn who had wealthy adopted parents Alex never had that sort of luxury. Both of Camryn’s parents Emily (Karen Holness) and David (Arnold Pinnock) know about her powers and that she doesn’t really have control of them yet. Both girls have an amulet that is one half of their real family’s crest. Camryn has a sun and Alex a crescent moon.

Two of the girl’s friends from Coventry, Karsh (Pat Kelly) and Ileana (Leslie Seiler) come through a portal in the swimming pool to tell the twins they are getting married. Both of them also have magical powers. The Queen wants the sisters to come back for the wedding. While talking it comes out that Camryn has been dreaming of her real father and drawing his crest, the crescent moon, Miranda’s is the sun which is the amulets the girls wear. Camryn goes back to Coventry but Alex stays behind for her first day at college. Camryn can’t wait to start the princess process. While Camryn is getting used to the life as a princess Alex meets Camryn’s ex-boyfriend Marcus, played by Nathan Stephenson. Camryn also meets a handsome young man Demitri, played by Chris Gallinger. Things get more serious when Miranda tells the girls that their uncle Thantos, played by Patrick Fabian, known as “The Darkness” is growing in power. The Queen needs them to perform a Vanquishing Spell during a solar eclipse when their powers are at their peak. Since Alex is represented by the crescent moon, the moon partially in shadow, she is easier to influence towards the darkness. Their father is in the Shadowland and has been trying to contact them. It turns out that Thantos is trying to get the girls to recite the wrong spell destroying the Shadowland.

The movie has everything a ‘tween could want. There is romance, action and some pretty good special effects seeing this is a television movie with a lower budget than other films like “Harry Potter.” Most important from a parental point of view the movie has some strong family values in it. Camryn’s adopted parents are patient and understanding, even when she tries her magic and destroys her dad’s car. They are steady in their relationship with their adopted daughter that they are fine with her getting to know her real mother who is a magical queen. There is also the always clichéd theme of love that conquers everything. When Camryn finds out the man she has a crush on is not a prince and doesn’t have magic she still has feelings for him. Then there is the other overused fight of good versus evil. When Alex is tricked by the evil forces it is clear that she is not herself. It can help children understand that in everyone there is a fight to do the right thing. From a technical viewpoint the film is paced just right for a younger audience. The exposition is kept easy and is given in small amounts interrupted with action. The special effects are simply eye-candy.

Tamera and Tia Mowry really help this film move along. They should be used to where the twins separated at birth since this was the story of their TV show “Sister, Sister.” It is comforting to know that both are getting films on their own instead of just as a pair of twins. Maclean noted, “They are both talented young women with a natural knack for physical comedy. Since they are about to enter their thirties they may be going out of the ‘tween market and while regrettable it is understandable.”

I feel like I like this film just as much as the first one. I grew up watching “Sister, Sister” in the 90s and I had a fun time watching that, so I guess it doesn’t come as a surprise that I would get into these two films. I would definitely recommend this one for everyone who is a fan of the Mowry twins, to those who grew up watching “Sister, Sister” and if they enjoyed the first one.

Alright everyone, look out tomorrow because I’m going to review a film that I totally loathe in “Disney Channel Original Movie Month.”

Lady and the Tramp (2019)

Tonight, I saw the live action remake of “Lady and the Tramp,” which was released on Disney+ last month. You could probably predict what I’m about to say, but let’s just look at the film first.

When Disney’s new streaming service started, it has given countless movies and television shows from the company and its handful of additional. One of the large porch titles – one of the only new releases included in Disney+’s schedule – is a live-action remake of “Lady and the Tramp.” Disney+ has also given the original 1955 animated version of “Lady and the Tramp,” so anyone who wants to argue the comparative qualities of the two will have the chance. Matt Singer said in his review, “I am not sure the comparisons will be particularly flattering.”

In all honesty, the new “Lady and the Tramp” is fine. With its cast of cute puppies and tame canine adventures, it’s obviously targeted at very young children – and it will almost certainly satisfy that random audience. Singer said, “Still, in a world where it will be available right alongside the original film — both at a click of the exact same button for the same monthly price — I’m not entirely sure why it exists, beyond refreshing this particular IP, reminding customers about the original movie, and slightly padding out Disney+’s lineup of “original” offerings.” It is harmless and pointless.

Once again, the film is about the romantic journeys of a treated family dog named Lady (Tessa Thompson) and a street dog named Tramp (Justin Theroux). As it often happens to dogs, Lady feels ignored after her owners Jim (Thomas Mann) and Darling (Kiersey Clemons) have their first child. She follows the Tramp and they roam around their rural little town – the time isn’t entirely evident, but it looks like maybe the 1920s – sharing plates of spaghetti and avoiding the local dog catcher, played by Adrian Martinez.

The film’s setting hasn’t been updated, but some of the more racially thoughtless parts have. The “Siamese Cat Song” – one of the most famous songs from the original, and also the one that has been labeled with racial stereotypes – has been changed for a new musical number from a different pair of twin cats who apparently are not Siamese.  There are other minor changes, mostly when seeing how it has been given a 2019 updated look. However, this is mainly the “Lady and the Tramp” we’re familiar with only with live-action actors and real dogs – however the dogs are sometimes changed with CGI doubles (Martin noted, “or their mouths are Mister Edified with computers to make it look like they’re talking.”)

The other dog characters include a Pekingese that sounds doubtfully like Janelle Monáe a wise old Bloodhound with the rich bass tones of Sam Elliott, and an almost-achingly pretty Bulldog voiced by Benedict Wong. They’re exactly supporting cast. The main actors are the protagonists. Theroux shows so much personality as the proudly loner Tramp, but Thompson is boring and forgettable as Lady. Singer said, “I’m not necessarily looking for a lot of “chemistry” between these voices, but a little more enthusiasm would have been nice.”

The new “Lady and the Tramp” is a slight improvement from the new “The Lion King” that loaded into theaters this summer and quickly became a giant financial success for Disney despite being interior to the original animated film in every possible way. Singer noted, “The Lion King’s animals were entirely CGI, and for all their photorealism, they barely displayed any emotions as they belted out show tunes or mourned the loss of a loved one.” At least the dogs in “Lady and the Tramp” are real, and when they’re not replaced by talking CGI doubles, they show some real dog character in the way they walk and talk and sit when told. It is interesting to say, that both here and in “The Lion King,” that the more human CGI experts try to make these animals, the less real they look. Singer noted, ‘At least they’re dogs, who are objectively cuter and more fun to watch run around than big jungle animals.”

Singer continued, “The new Lady and the Tramp was co-written by Andrew Bujalski, the very talented indie filmmaker who was one of the founders of what became known as the “mumblecore” movement, and the director of excellent movies like Mutual Appreciation and Computer Chess. The results here bear so little of his quirky authorial stamp that if you asked me to guess who wrote this Lady and the Tramp, told me it was a director I greatly admired, and informed me the guy’s first name is Andrew, there is literally zero chance I would get it right.”

Singer ended his review by saying, “It never dawned on me until now how strange it is that the beautiful song “Bella Notte,” faithfully recreated in this version by an amusing guest star, is a love ballad about two dogs smooching over a bowl of pasta.”

This is better than the other live action remakes I have seen this year, with nice voice acting, direction and some funny moments. However, it lacks the heart of the original movie. The added storylines didn’t seem to fit, the reworked scenes and songs weren’t needed, the recasting of Pekingese was distracting, the CGI dogs were expressionless and almost not believable like the CGI animals in the remake of “The Lion King” and you could probably predict the direction they were going in. They didn’t need to make it as long as they did, seeing how the original was told short and sweet. Just don’t see it if you’re a subscriber to Disney+. At least this wasn’t theatrically released, which is a relief.

Now that we’re done with that, stay tuned tomorrow for the next review in “Disney Channel Original Movie Month.”

High School Musical 2

Gillian Flynn started her review by saying, “Upon being compelled to watch last year’s Disney-movie songfest High School Musical, I cried. As in, I was moved to tears by the story of Troy (Hairspray‘s Zac Efron), a varsity basketball star who learns to love his inner crooner, thanks to Gabriella (Vanessa Hudgens), a gorgeous mathlete. I am almost grotesque in my vulnerability to stories in which kids grow and love and explore their potential — as long as they do it with jazz hands and a lot of faux-motional singing. Don’t even get me started on Maxwell Caulfield’s haunting Grease 2 solo, “Charades.””

Flynn continued, “In short, I am no snob about simplistic, low-bar, rainbow-colored sing-alongs. I wanted to enjoy High School Musical 2 as much as I enjoyed High School Musical: in moderation, with a pleasant blush and a benevolent, the-kids-are-alright smile. Well, bummer for me! This inevitable sequel — a third film is already in the works — feels too simplistic, too low-bar. (The colors are still pretty.)” Troy and Gabriella and their Wildcat friends get summer jobs at the exclusive golf club owned by the parents of drama siblings, Sharpay (Ashley Tisdale) and Ryan (Lucas Grabeel). The spoiled Sharpay immediately starts persuading Troy with potential college scholarships and a nice job as a golf teacher! A lot is done in this not-highly honest problem. Troy misses a date with Gabriella, practices with the university basketball team and enjoys his new Italian golf shoes (Flynn is right when she said, “it’s always amusing when marketing juggernaut Disney lectures kids on acquisitiveness”).

Flynn mentioned, “Unfortunately, the franchise is overly cautious about the image of its likable, tween-idol star: Mindful that eighth graders nationwide are daydreaming of Efron giving them their first kiss while holding a teddy bear who’s holding a tiny Mylar balloon, Disney never lets the guy get too mean, too spoiled, or too…anything. By the time an enraged/ashamed/sun-fevered Troy is running across the golf course, dressed in black, jabbing and spinning while he sings a song I think is called ”Bet on It! (Bet on It! (Bet on It!))” the issue is so confused, it’s not even clear what the wager is. Ambition? Loyalty? Um…stuff?”

Obviously, musicals don’t rely on a lot of storytelling, because they have music! Here, the songs differ from enjoyable fun (Sharpay sings a bubbly little number called Fabulous) to just bad (Flynn noted, “there’s a massive dance number on a baseball diamond that’s so surreally amateurish, Will Ferrell may be behind it”). “High School Musical 2,” released in 2007, ends with silly “outtakes” that say what the whole movie is: When they’re truly silly, they make you grin – but too much of it feels forced.

Now to the film’s credit, there were parts that I actually enjoyed seeing and would like to see those parts again. But everything else is just typical, predictable stuff that is relatable to the age demographic it targeted towards. For everyone else, they will know they aren’t the right age group to be watching it. So if you weren’t a fan of the first movie, don’t watch this one. But for everyone else who liked the first one, this one is the show-stopping number for you.

Look out tomorrow when I review the “Twitches” sequel in “Disney Channel Original Movie Month.”

Return to Halloweentown

Felix Vasquez started his review by saying, “I’m not sure why, but Kimberly J. Brown is nowhere to be found in this final film of the “Halloweentown” series. I read an interview online from Kimberly J. Brown that explains she never got a call to come back to the movies, even though she was more than willing. I peg it to the fact that Sara Paxton was then blossoming to be tailored for Disney Channel stardom, thus they kicked out the very adorable and quite talented Brown in exchange for the more streamlined and younger Sara Paxton.” The difference is very noticeable as the character appears completely different from the original Marnie. Sara Paxton is a good actress, but she’s not as lovable or nice spoke as Kimberly J. Brown was, and there’s an element missing from this final film. Also, Debbie Reynolds is nowhere in the film, another sad fact seeing how she was a main person to help form Marnie. She was her mentor figure. Without her, Marnie is just another character.

Vasquez noted, “I’m also assuming Disney just wanted to reboot the whole shebang, which fails on every level.” The greatness of the franchise is Kimberly J. Brown and without her, this last movie is just empty. “Return to Halloweentown,” released in 2006, is in no way a Halloween movie despite they try to convince the audience it’s a part of the series. It shows hinds to the character Sophie who apparently is so far into her training she’s traveling galaxies, while Marnie is still learning her magic (how does that work?), she is never seen or heard but we hear she’s doing better than Marnie and yet the movies never focused on Sophie. Vasquez said, “Marnie is now a ditzy bubble head prone to using her magic in about as girliest a way as possible in spite of seeing her mature in a more matriarchal position in the former films, and Aggie is seen in only a few moments with Millicent Martin added to replace Mrs. Reynolds in her absence.” There is also no mention to any of the other characters from the previous films including Marnie’s boyfriend Cody.

Instead, Marnie is now just a self-involved college girl starting Witch University disobeying her mom, reprised by Judith Hoag, who wants her to go to school in the mortal realm. With Dylan, reprised by Joey Zimmerman, going with her, she sees the same clichés of school life we saw in “Halloweentown High” except now we really get to see a lot more monsters and the town, which was the point of the franchise initially. Lucas Grabeel who was rising to stardom in “High School Musical” is completely forgettable as Ethan Dalloway, Marnie’s love interest who had his powers taken away in the third film and returns to help Marnie when she tries to stop a brotherhood wanting to rule Halloweentown through Marnie who is a prophesized queen. Because there never mentioned a queen or king in the last films, it’s really convenient.

To its credit, this attempted reboot wants to try and attract a new audience with Paxton’s popularity, however it’s a boring a completely confusing little kids film with none of the innocence or originality of the first two films, and it doesn’t have any of the trouble of the first movies particularly because everything’s been done before. Vasquez noted, “But what with Paxton and Grabeel being the poster children for Disney at the year this was made, “Return to Halloweentown” is much more concerned with being a vehicle for the two stars than making any sense or acting as a proper finisher for the series.” For those who enjoyed the franchise, this is a shame. This just wants to raise popularity and nothing more. It recycles old plot themes, wanders from the real story, collects no entertainment or inspiration from its audience and is in the end a lifeless and lethargic conclusion to what as an enjoyable family franchise. Vasquez ended his review by saying, “But that’s okay, there is at least “Wizards of Waverly Place” to come along years later, an admitted guilty pleasure of mine. Don’t judge me, man.”

Sorry to say, but this film is the weakest of the franchise. If you liked the first two movies, don’t bother with the last two because they are just weak and boring. You will not like any minute of watching it, so just avoid it.

Tomorrow I will look at the second “High School Musical” movie in “Disney Channel Original Movie Month.”

The Cheetah Girls 2

Whitney Pastorek started her review by saying, “There’s a long tradition of musicals for kids out there, stretching all the way back to Judy Garland and Mickey Rooney staging a play in an old barn.” Lately, the genre has gone to an unexpected level of commercial reputation: After “The Cheetah Girls” movie came out on the Disney Channel in 2003, its soundtrack was No. 2, a success that led in part to the unbelievable phenomenon of “High School Musical.” Now the group is back with a 2006 sequel “The Cheetah Girls 2” (directed by Kenny Ortega).

Based on the kids’ book series, the Cheetah Girls are a teen signing group led by determined Galleria Garibaldi, played by Raven-Symoné, who also executive produces. The other three members – sensitive Chanel (Adrienne Bailon), playful Aquanetta (Kiely Williams), disjointed foster kid Dorinda (Sabrina Bryan) – are both her backups and her best friends. When Chanel has to spend her summer in Barcelona, the entire group goes with her to participate in a music competition. On their trip, everyone learns lessons about friendship, class problems, and the scary truth that parents have lives of their own.

Pastorek said, “Yes, it’s a bit ridiculous watching four calculatedly multiracial girls lip-synch to peppy songs about changing the world. But even a saccharine version of girl power — or, to quote the Cheetahs, ”Growl Power” — is better than other tween-bait options, like MTV’s The Hills, that teach girls to put their boyfriends first.” The Cheetahs at least have a message…and the messages are always easier to learn when accompanied by a well-done dance.

Now I know what everyone is thinking, did I like this movie? Better than the first one, but it still came off as kind of boring. For the most part, it’s very forgettable, but not nearly as bad as the first one was. However, you can see it and be fine, but I would say give it a pass. Overall, I would say this is for those who love the Cheetah Girls and loved the first movie. They could see the second one and fall in love with it fine, but for everyone else, they won’t need to see it if they saw the first one and hated it. Like I said, they would like it fine and would take boring over the first one, but they would still forget about it very quickly.

Stay tuned tomorrow when I finally wrap up the “Halloweentown” franchise in “Disney Channel Original Movie Month.”