Ice Age: Continental Drift

Now we have come to a really underwhelming, disappointing entry, “Ice Age: Continental Drift,” released in 2012. Grae Drake started her review out by saying, “Ice Age: Continental Drift has given me the important gift of understanding that not all animated films are created equal. Before, there was a small part of my critic-brain that felt foolish reviewing a movie intended for audiences who don't even know their ABC's well enough to read my reviews. But now I get it--now, I have a mission. I am one of the people who can warn you, as parents or as fans of the animated arts, that some stuff is groundbreaking, some stuff is palatable, and other stuff will suck you of your will to live. The fourth installment of this series is somewhere between the last two.”

The first “Ice Age” movie wasn’t perfect either, but it had big-eyed sloths and squeaky squirrels along with other animals that at least teach kids about the time period that it takes place in. It was fine. However, now a decade later, for some reason we’re still stuck here, beating the same old frozen corpse. This time, the land is falling apart and creating the continents. In a dramatic but not at all moment, Manny gets separated from Ellie and his daughter Peaches, voiced by singer Keke Palmer.  He and Diego, along with the thick but likable Sid float away on an iceberg, promising to return to the much shaken land full of animals.

There are the usual additions to the cast to keep them cool and fresh. Wanda Sykes is Sid’s Granny, who’s always good for some jokes about her missing dentures. Drake admitted, “Even though she was funnier than Doris Roberts in Madea's Witness Protection as the disoriented oldster who might not be as insane as she seems, that's still not saying much.” Jennifer Lopez is the clever saber-tooth tiger that becomes Diego’s love interest, and rapper Drake plays Ethan, the mammoth that Peaches has a crush on. Peter Dinklage, Simon Pegg, Nick Frost and Seann William Scott get put in here as well. It feels like the creators were overbalancing.

The biggest problem with the film is that it doesn’t have any innovative humor or truly touching moments. Drake said, “The filmmakers seemed too busy making sure that every action sequence was followed by some quick conversation about fruit or how crazy Granny is, and then it just barged into another action sequence. This is more towards the Alvin and the Chipmunks school of thinking than the Pixar one.” Even though there’s plenty to distract your children into sitting quietly for two hours (which is definitely worth something), it’s not going to mean anything to them or really teach them any of the chaotic lessons put in by the screenwriter. Their iceberg gets taken over by pirates (Dinklage is the captain), then they get away, then they run into them again, and they run away again, and they see sirens, and then the pirates are back. It melted along with the ice caps.

I’m sorry, but they shouldn’t have kept cashing in with this franchise. It was fine at first, now it’s just starting to just be the same repetitive thing over and over again. I never saw any of the films in theaters, but I did see them as DVD rentals, and I feel glad that I never put money down for them. You can see after watching one after another how bad they gradually got. Never see this one because it will be just a waste of time.

So you would think that would be the last one, right? Guess again, because they decided to make another one, which we will look at next week when we finally get through “Ice Age Month.” Just hold on tight, I want this month to be over as much as you do.