Double Teamed

The Disney Channel takes the court in 2002 with a movie based on the real-life Burge sisters, 6’5” twins whose basketball skills that let them to professional basketball with the WNBA.

Mark Sachs of LA Times said in his review, “Disney, which pioneered the twin-blond-teens concept back in 1961 by cloning Hayley Mills in The Parent Trap, had a bigger casting challenge in Double Teamed.” The protagonists would have to be very tall, good players and look exactly alike.

The producers decided on Poppi Monroe (From CBS miniseries “The Last Don”) as Heather and Annie McElwain (7^th Heaven) as Heidi. Sachs noted, “A crash course in basketball, platform shoes and dyed hair extensions took care of the rest.” Despite them not being identical twins, they at least look like they could be sisters.

Sachs said, “The paint-by-the-numbers movie piles on the sports cliches as ably as any male-oriented sports flick, and like such paintings, examining the finished product too closely spoils some of the fun.”

The story centers on Dad’s (Nick Searcy) rather un-centered efforts to obtain college sports scholarships for his girls in any way, despite of the campaign’s effect on their happiness. Mom, played by Mackenzie Phillips, mainly is there as the referee during the family fights.

Sachs mentioned, “The desperate scholarship push seems a trifle odd inasmuch as the girls are barely in their freshman year of high school, but chronic money concerns compel the family to make many decisions.”

For the girls, there are rich yet jealous teammates to compete with, along with unfortunate injuries and some sibling rivalry.

However, there is no need to worry because there is a happy; Disney-style ending is a win.

I remember seeing parts of this movie when I was a kid, and the parts that I saw, I really enjoyed it. When I finally watched the entire movie a few months back, I actually found myself really liking this movie and thinking this was something that everyone could watch. It’s a good sports movie for kids and I think everyone should watch it. Only downside is that it was released on VHS, but is now available on Disney+. If anyone was a Disney+ account, check it out and see for yourself.

Check in tomorrow where I look at a mediocre film in “Disney Channel Original Movie Month.”

Halloweentown II: Kalabar's Revenge

Though 1998’s “Halloweentown” was a very cute and entertaining Halloween film, the sequel, “Halloweentown II: Kalabar’s Revenge,” released in 2001, is much darker and little more adult in tone and atmosphere for this installment. Felix Vasquez said in his review, “What’s interesting is you can sense the seeds for “The Witches of Waverly Place” within this sequel, and it’s not a far off prospect that what with Kimberly J. Brown getting older with each movie, Disney wanted to pass the wand over with a new franchise about magic and wizards.”

“Halloweentown II” starts on Halloween a few years after the fight with Kalabar where things have changed but still the same. Grandma Aggie (Debbie Reynolds) and Gwen (Judith Hoag) are still fighting over living life as a Witch, Marnie (Kimberly J. Brown) and Sophie (Emily Roeske) are having trouble with their allegiances and Dylan (Joey Zimmerman) is still worried about being average. During a large Halloween night party, new neighbors Kal (Daniel Kountz) and his dad (Robin Thomas) show up trying to be friends with the Cromwell family. Gwen immediately falls in love with Kal’s dad, as Kal and Marnie find the same bond. One moment of vulnerability allows the obviously villain Kal to steal the Cromwell spell book, and seeing her magic bag isn’t working anymore, Aggie goes back to Halloweentown.

Marnie and Aggie see the town is being drained of its creativity, individuality, and magic. Kal is Kalabar’s son and is looking to drain the magic out of the town. A lot of the sequel shows the amazingly fantastic work between Kimberly J. Brown and Debbie Reynolds, both who are two generations of Cromwell’s fighting with the new villain Kal. Vasquez said, “Kimberly J. Brown had sheer potential to be a Disney regular and works wonders here as the older and wiser Marnie seeking a line between normality and embracing her destiny as the head of the Cromwells. She’s very soft spoken and a great antidote to the normal overbearing Disney characters.”

Vasquez continued, “Reynolds grasps the role of Aggie with as much zeal as possible providing a very whimsical attitude to an already entertaining heroine holding her own in a youth oriented fantasy flick. As well I also enjoy the emphasis on the character of Sophie who goes from a little sister to the key to saving the humans from Kal’s horrible spell providing a sense of heroism and giving a very entertaining performance not reliant on cute one-liners.” There’s a lot more visual style this time around as we see some interesting imagery of the town in black and white, and the two witches going through alleys and dark mansions looking for Aggie’s powerful spell book hoping to bring the town back to life again.

In the real world, Kal has made a scheme where every party goer in the school Halloween dance is going to turn into monsters when it becomes midnight. With only four hours left, Marnie and her friend Luke, played by Phillip Van Dyke, have only a little time to restore the magic, break the spell, and save grandma Aggie who is also being drained of her magic as the clock ticks. The ultimate damage by Kal’s master plan is really tricky and once the party goers turn into vampires and monsters it’s really scary and actually evil, especially when looking at the special effects being better this time around. I agree with Vasquez when he said, ““Halloweentown II” is the better of the entire series, and I had just as much fun with this as I did its predecessor.” One thing that really seemed just necessary for creating tension was mother Gwen not able to make up a master plan at work.

She went up against an evil Warlock, has been to Halloweentown and even uses her magic during the film, but she still finds it impossible to believe her kids that Kalabar has to have come back and is planning something on Halloween? Vasquez noted, “It’s out of character and seems just there to create difficulty for the characters and little else. It’s pretty far-fetched for a character who seems to have seen it all in regards to magic and monsters.” Even though the first movie was about celebrating Halloween, “Halloweentown II” is much darker and focused on story with fighting good and evil and continuing the storyline. Kimberly J. Brown and Debbie Reynolds are just as likable, and this is hands down and better sequel and the best of the “Halloweentown” movies by far.

I think that this movie will be enjoyed by the whole family, if they all decide to sit down and watch it. If you didn’t really get into the first movie, this one will satisfy everything that you had problems with the last one. Like I said, I wouldn’t want to watch this franchise again, but if I had to make a decision of which one I wouldn’t mind watching again, this is the one. I liked the ideas, the visuals, everything about it interesting. This also goes for the people who liked the first movie; they should see this one because they will love it more.

Tomorrow I will look at another movie that I am familiar with. Like “The Luck of the Irish,” this is another one I saw parts of as a kid and loved. Stay tuned tomorrow to see if I still like it today in “Disney Channel Original Movie Month.”

Charlie's Angels

Today I went and saw the new “Charlie’s Angels” movie, but first, I need to talk about the others that came before the new one. Let’s start off with the first “Charlie’s Angels” movie, released in 2000.

From the cheesy 1980 TV series is an action comedy adaptation that makes fun of everything from 1980: bad TV, disaster movies and obviously cheesy TV series.

This time the three angels are Dylan Sanders (Drew Barrymore), Natalie Cook (Cameron Diaz) and Alexandra “Alex” Munday (Lucy Liu), action women who have become high-tech private detectives for Charles Townsend, who they only talk through a radio. They get their missions from the funny Bosley (Bill Murray) and this time they go up against a kidnapped computer programmer (Sam Rockwell), an evil businessman (Tim Curry) and a mysterious thing man (Crispin Glover). However, the bland plot is just an excuse for action, and so much of it.

Rich Cline described the film in his review, “Frenetically directed by someone called McG, virtually every scene in the film is jammed with sight gags and wacky dialog ... as well as subtle and not-so-subtle jabs at Bond and Mission Impossible-type films. If you can remotely suspend your faculties of criticism, this is great fun to watch, thoroughly entertaining, surprisingly witty and, well, gorgeous to look at. The three leads get nice twists on their roles--Diaz is brainy and ditzy at the same time, Barrymore is thuggish with impeccable lipstick in all but one hilarious scene, Liu is both broadly slapstick and sleekly seductive. They're terrifically funny--all hair flicks, karate poses and Matrix-style gravity-defying fight scenes. Murray gets the short shrift, underused and a bit uneven. And in the end it's simply empty-headed fun, nothing more.”

The film was followed by the 2003 sequel, “Charlie’s Angels: Full Throttle.” The angels are back with a larger, louder, funnier sequel that’s just as much fun as the first one. The story is so confusing that you won’t be able to figure it out.

The villains are after two rings that have the entire Witness Relocation Program, so the angles and their boss Bosley, played this time by the late Bernie Mac, go undercover to get them back. This involves things like a Mongolian rescue, a day of surfing, an off-road motorcycle race and a Hollywood movie premiere. They also have to fight Madison Lee, a former angel (Demi Moore), the same thin man from the first movie, and an evil Irish gangster (Justin Theroux). They also have to balance their personal lives.

Cline said, “If you enjoyed the first film, you know you have to see this. It's jammed with hysterically funny bits -- subtle plays on the original 1970s TV series, inspired comedy, rude innuendo and outrageous goofiness. Diaz, Barrymore and Liu have taken the roles to heart; they make us laugh with every ridiculous disguise, gleeful wiggle and knowing line of dialog. Diaz is the star this time, with those gob-smacking guises and incredibly happy feet. And Moore makes a terrific nemesis -- sexy, nasty, energetic. Mac struggles a bit as Bosley, admittedly a thankless role in which he's only given weak shtick but still generates chemistry with our heroic trio. And McG directs with the same inspired flair, never letting up for a moment and brilliantly layering the comedy with satire, pastiche and childishness.”

It’s perfectly made to make everyone laughing in every scene, with regular attacks into over-the-top action so intense that it’s just a joy to see. Cline said, “The effects are ropey and far-fetched; there's no attempt to make anything realistic, so think of it as a cartoon! And star-spotters will have a field day keeping track of the witty cameos and bizarre supporting roles.” This is a love it or hate it movie, but if you thought the first one was neat, this more than lives up to expectations, which is something you can’t say a lot. Cline admitted, “And while I wait for a third film (please, girls!), I'll be placing an advance order for this one on DVD.”

Now let’s get to the 2019 movie, which shows little resemblance to either the original 1970s TV show or the two movies in the 2000s. Cline noted, “Filmmaker Elizabeth Banks has abandoned the formula to make a girly Mission: Impossible-style spy romp with excessive guns and gadgets. It's well-staged, with nicely chaotic action, some solid characters and a strong blast of female empowerment.” However, the story and its endless twists and turns are sometimes corny that it hurts.

From its private investigator blueprint, the Townsend Agency had widened into international espionage, with Bosley (Elizabeth Banks) becoming the boss from retiring veteran Bosley (Patrick Stewart). Another Bosley (Djimon Hounsou) is observing a mission in Hamburg with two agents, bad girl Sabina (Kristen Stewart) and ex-British agent Jane (Ella Balinska). Their contact at a tech company is Elena (Naomi Scott), who joins the team to take on a mystery figure trying to make her power-supply invention into a super weapon. The question is whether to trust an apparent ignorant boss Alexander (Sam Claflin) or horrifying executive Peter (Nat Faxon), while dodging murdering assassin Hodak (Jonathan Tucker).

Everyone in this film is more than having weapons on them, and the big guns kind of defeat the entire story that women have their own strength. Cline said, “These Angels may be intelligent, trained fighters, but they're also kitted out with heavy artillery and a mind-boggling array of convenient tech that would give anyone the upper hand if it actually existed beyond the realm of fantastical spy movies.” This gets rid of most of the suspense because at least the men aren’t grinning morons.

Cline said, “Kristen Stewart commands the screen with star presence, adding a quirky, steely edge to Sabina that ignites her chemistry with Balinska's effortlessly efficient loner. Their sarcastic banter extends nicely to Scott's plucky, multi-skilled Elena. And Banks provides sass as she re-enters the fray later on. Of the men, Tucker stands out for his willingness to avoid winking even when his character does something hyperbolically nasty. And Mendez is hilarious as a Townsend operative in Berlin with a range of healing and domestic skills.” There are also some hilarious cameos in the closing credits.

Cline ended his review by saying, “The film's overriding comical tone lends sharp wit to the stylish settings and costumes, plus some properly inventive fight choreography and snappy action beats. But there's never even the slightest sense of irony here. These women are basically trained killers as ruthless as the baddies they're fighting. So as the grisliness escalates, any sense of thematic depth regarding gender issues is obliterated. The movie is still entertaining, but it's no more than fluff.”

I liked the first two movies because of the three good looking actresses and the way they said their lines. Especially in the second one with the addition of Demi Moore, who added to what men love seeing and hearing, and Bernie Mac with his amazing comedy. This new one just seems to fall in the middle since it seems to borrow somewhat from the second movie and how predictable the villain might be, and the motives. If you don’t want to see it in theaters, then it might be safe to wait until it comes out on DVD.

Thank you for joining in on tonight’s review, stay tuned tomorrow for the next installment in “Disney Channel Original Movie Month.”

The Luck of the Irish

“The Luck of the Irish” is a Disney Channel Original Movie that came out in 2001. Directed by Paul Hoen, who would go on to direct other movies like “The Cheetah Girls: One World” and “Camp Rock 2: The Final Jam.” Those were disasters, but we’ll get to those later in the month. The only really famous actor in here is Ryan Merriman. The rest of the cast is just there. The acting wasn’t bad but it wasn’t anything to really call amazing. It just fell in the middle.

The movie is about Kyle (Ryan Merriman) as he finds out he is Irish after his lucky coin gets stolen by an evil leprechaun (Timothy Omundson). He finds out that his mom, played by Marita Geraghty, comes from a family of leprechauns and that coin was his family’s luck. Because his coin has been stolen, they are turning into leprechauns. Kyle, with the help of his family (Henry Gibson and Paul Kiernan) and friends (Glenndon Chatman), must get back their family’s luck before Kyle’s huge basketball game. Steven Kaufman said in his review, “I kid you not, this is the plot of the movie. What the heck was in the water during the late 90s/early 00s?”

Kaufman continued, “While I still enjoyed watching this movie, the movie’s plot is all over the place. Like literally, there are more plot holes in this than what you will find in an episode of “Riverdale.”” Like the leprechaun villain has magical powers but no other leprechaun in the movie has it. There are hints of that with Kyle’s grandfather but that’s it. There are a lot of plot holes that you could point them out when you watch it, which is unbelievable.

I agree with Kaufman when he said, “I recommend just watching this movie if you are looking for an enjoyable non-sensical good time.” That’s the best way to watch the movie. If you really start to think a lot about the plot, then that will make you hate the movie and ask why you watched it. This is just a nice movie that you just should enjoy and not take too seriously. If you start doing that, then that’s when you will start to hate it. The ending of the movie is really anti-climatic but it’s a Disney movie so that is your answer, just a standard Disney ending.

“The Luck of the Irish” is one of those classic Original Movies that you shouldn’t delve into too much. It’s a classic movie from the Disney Channel that is probably nice to watch around St. Patrick’s Day. It’s a lot of fun to watch. When you take it seriously, then you will not have fun and just think it’s aggravating. Besides that, I seriously think you should watch it.

I know I may not be in the right age group for this movie, but still, I think you should watch it because you will find a lot of enjoyment in it, even though a lot of adults may not like it. Check it out and see for yourself.

Alright everyone, look out tomorrow when I look at the sequel to “Halloweentown” in “Disney Channel Original Movie Month.”

Zenon: The Zequel

Next up we have “Zenon: The Zequel,” which came out in 2001, and this one fails from the start.

Adam Bomb started his review by saying, “It starts out with the title character (Kirsten Storms) and her friend Nebula (Shadia Simmons) who are on this space station which has a design somewhat similar to that of Stanley Kubrick's "2001."” They sneak into this secret room with a console with two trackballs and start playing a game that looks similar to Pong. The console really controls the emergency airlock doors in the commander’s office and the little dots are really many office furniture being flown out into space. There isn’t any explanation as to why there is an emergency airlock in the commander’s office, or why its controls are on a different area of the ship.

The commander (Stuart Pankin) finds this out and, as punishment, assigns Zenon in a laboratory where they listen for radio signals. She hates having to do this and to make things worse, General Hammond (John Getz) visits the space station to keep it from “falling out of orbit,” and he brings along his daughter (Lauren Maltby), who Zenon is forced to look after. Adam said, “She immediately starts acting like a cliched bratty little princess while treating Zenon like a servant and sucking away her social life. (I believe they had a previous encounter in the first film, but I haven't seen the first film, so I don't know much about it.)”

While Zenon is working at the lab, she suddenly starts hearing strange sounds picked up by the radar. She starts telling other people about what she heard, but she is either ignored or made fun of by other people on the space station. She later recognizes the sounds as notes and lyrics from her favorite song by Protozoa (Phillip Rhys), and this is her conclusion after getting all the information: aliens want to meet Protozoa. Adam admitted, “I know nothing of what a real teenage girl would think of this, but I started laughing at this point.”

She then sneaks to Earth with a group of space station deportees (Adam noted, “The important army guy started jettisoning portions of the station in an attempt to prevent it from "falling out of orbit"”). Margie sneaks off to Earth with her, and the unwillingly team up and find the secret home of Protozoa. We see that he is one of the most annoying characters in the movie because of being a British egomaniac. We also find out that Margie developed this obnoxious behavior because she had been constantly moving and never got to make actual friends.

Adam said, “After the government gets involved and the army guy starts getting cheesed off, Zenon, Protozoa, and mixed family and friends fly off in a garbage barge her mother (Susan Brady) swiped to escape an imposed house arrest on the space station to meet the aliens who sent Zenon the "zum zum zum" signals.” On their journey, the garbage barge her mother snuck off the space station with runs out of gas, and the spaceship stops in the middle of space. If things couldn’t get any worse, they find out that the spaceship is about to be pulled into the moon’s gravitational pull to crash and explode on the moon’s surface. Adam admitted, “I'm no expert, but wouldn't they just orbit the moon instead of dropping to the surface like a bag of cement?”

Nothing happens because the aliens arrive, save everyone and make friends with all the humans. In a scene with some bright special effects, we find out the aliens were using Protozoa’s song as a distress signal. The humans are brought back to the space station, and everyone is glad to see them alive. General Hammond starts to discipline everyone, mainly Zenon for her irresponsibility and putting other people’s lives in danger. He also wants proof that there are aliens that exist. Adam mentioned, “The aliens show up, restore the space station's orbit, reattach the jettisoned pieces, and then leave.” The movie ends with Protozoa singing an annoying and forgettable song, while Zenon and Margie settle their differences.

I’m sorry, even though the first movie I do give credit for being creative, this one just doesn’t do anything that is actually good. It feels like this film just didn’t care and just wanted to make a run-of-the-mill bad movie. This isn’t the worst movie I have seen out of all the movies I have seen to prepare for the month, but it’s just your basic movie bad. If you liked the first one, which I wouldn’t be surprised if you did, don’t see this one, you won’t like it as much. This is just an average movie.

Tomorrow I will be looking at a film that I’m actually familiar with. Yes, I saw parts of this movie when I was a kid and actually saw the whole movie earlier this year. If you want to know if I liked it, find out tomorrow in the next entry to “Disney Channel Original Movie Month.”

Zenon: Girl of the 21st Century

In 1999 came a children’s book adaptation, “Zenon: Girl of the 21^st Century,” which gives an interesting combination of futuristic elements and grounded characters for a fun, relatable sci-fi adventure.

It’s 2049, Zenon Kar, played by Kristen Storms, is your typical 13-year-old girl. However, Zenon lives on a space station orbiting Earth. Entrepreneur Parker Wyndham, played by Frederick Coffin, comes for his usual routine check up, but Zenon thinks something’s wrong. However, space station commander Edward Plank, played by Stuart Pankin, thinks Zenon is just panicking. As punishment, Zenon is sentenced to live on Earth with her Aunt Judy, played by Holly Fulger. Besides the culture shock, Zenon is going to miss a performance by her favorite band Microbe for their first show in space. Cup of Moe stated in their review, “Microbe is clearly a thinly veiled Backstreet Boys or NSYNC reference.” Facing the problem, Zenon won a contest to appear onstage with Microbe frontman Proto Zoa, played by Phillip Rhys. While on Earth, Zenon finds actual proof of a conspiracy by Wyndham to hurt the space station with a computer virus and cash in on insurance money.

Aside from the more childish parts, “Zenon: Girl of the 21^st Century” is a surprisingly intelligent film. From the start, the protagonist Zenon Kar is shown as a normal teenager. Under the surface of advanced technology and other space environment, she’s the typical teen. Zenon hates waking up early, sleeps through class, wants to break the rules, and is crazy with the popular pop bands. Despite the space setting, Zenon and her best friend Nebula, played by singer Raven-Symone (who you might remember as Olivia from “The Cosby Show”), are basically the same as their Earth characters.

Cup of Moe said, “Zenon’s stint on Earth highlights these differences, or lack thereof.” As her potential friendship and romantic interest in classmate Greg, played by Gregory Smith, prove, the differences between Earth and space life is highly superficial. Technological differences aside, human life is universal.

Cup of Moe compared, “In this way, “Zenon: Girl of the 21st Century” is the “Night of the Comet” of DCOMs. 1984 sci-fi cult classic “Night of the Comet” follows two Valley girl stereotypes plopped into a post-apocalyptic scenario. It’s an unusual twist where the characters aren’t altered substantially by the setting. Similarly, “Zenon” upends the trope of advanced civilization. Instead, humanity is relatively unchanged despite living on Earth or on a space station. It’s less “2001: A Space Odyssey,” and more “The Fifth Element.””

The plot is easy and very predictable. From the start, it’s very clear how “Zenon: Girl of the 21^st Century” will tell the story. However, it still impresses with a clumsy, accidentally successful protagonist in Zenon. She is both likable and annoying, a strange combination. Cup of Moe ended the review by saying, “Overall, its message of diversity breaks down societal barriers. It’s a surprisingly, refreshingly inclusive film that’s fun yet subtly poignant.”

Once again, I don’t think parents or any other adults will find a lot of enjoyment in it, seeing how they probably will be able to tell the message it will tell, but for kids, they will like and understand the message of being a social outcast and what to do when being in a different environment than the one you’re used to being around. It’s a nice film for kids that if I was the right age, I would find myself enjoying it, and so I wouldn’t say this would hurt for kids to watch. Not really one for adults, for kids can definitely watch and enjoy.

The popularity of this film actually made it come out with a sequel, which we will look at tomorrow in “Disney Channel Original Movie Month.”

Halloweentown

December is upon us once again and it’s time for another Disney themed month to close out the year. Seeing how last year I had reviewed every live-action Disney movie that I had seen, I thought that this year I would go along that same theme and review the Disney Channel Original Movies. Granted, I was growing up around the time that these movies were being released, but need I remind everyone, I didn’t get cable until I was 12. That means I had missed out on the earlier stuff and kids in Middle and High School don’t really watch anything on the Disney Channel. Although I did see bits and pieces of a few of the films and I was familiar with certain popular ones, but I just never bothered watching any until I had to prepare for this month.

Unlike previous years where I only had to watch maybe a few or I was already familiar with the films that I had chosen to review, this year was the busiest in order to prepare for this month. I had to select which of the popular films I wanted to review and watch them in order to prepare, which is something I had never done before. Seeing these films, I have to admit that any adult watching them will admit they’re in the wrong age group to watch them. Maybe if I saw these as a kid, I would probably have a different opinion on them and may have ended up liking a lot of them.

Enough stalling, let’s get started with the very first film, “Halloweentown,” released in 1998.

David Parkinson started his review by saying, “In this passable family feature from Disney, the various spooks and ghouls who have plagued humanity for centuries are consigned to the eponymous town - rather in the same way the fairy-tale folk were later banished in Shrek.” At the core of everything is the late Debbie Reynolds, who shows a little old-school magic as the witch Agatha, or “Aggie,” who helps her daughter, Gwen (Judith Hoag) protect her half-mortal children (Kimberly J. Brown, Joey Zimmerman and Emily Roeske) from both mortal and supernatural prejudice. I agree with Parkinson when he said, “It's watchable, though the action is packed with bits and pieces from genre milestones such as Bewitched and Tim Burton's The Nightmare before Christmas, so it feels rather familiar.”

Three kids are understandably surprised when they find out their grandmother is a witch and they have her magical powers in their genes. They soon get into some trouble as they try out their abilities, but the enjoyment is put to the test when an evil spirit, played by Robin Thomas, is out making problems for them to solve.

If you have small children, it probably wouldn’t hurt to show them this film, but for adults, they probably will not find much enjoyment in it. Reason why is because it’s not very enjoyable and Halloweentown is not what you would expect if you heard the name. What would you expect from a movie that is targeted for little children? Sorry to say guys, but after watching this once, I don’t see myself ever picking up this movie again.

Just to let everyone know, unlike last year where I was cramming two reviews in one day for a good majority of the month, this year will be just one review a day. If there will be two reviews, it will only be on a new film that I watched in theaters.

Now that I clarified that, check in tomorrow for what I will review next in “Disney Channel Original Movie Month.”