Eraser

It helps to have a short attention span while watching “Eraser,” the 1996 Arnold Schwarzenegger movie. For example, the part late in the film where Arnold is shot through the left shoulder. He grabs his shoulder and smirks. From the bullet’s point of entry, we guess his shoulder bone is broken and there is a lot of muscle damage. Immediately afterward, Arnold is in a fight to the death with the villain, played by the late James Caan, on top of a shipping container that has been lifted high in the air by a crane. The heroine, played by Vanessa Williams, is also on the container, and she falls off. However, Arnold is able to grab her out of the air. He holds her with his right, and supports the weight of both of them with his left hand and arm. That’s nice trick after getting shot in the shoulder by a bullet. However, if you think way back to the movie’s second big action scene, near the beginning of the film, Arnold and Vanessa are the targets of a nail bomb, which explodes, driving a spike right through Arnold’s right hand – the one he later holds Williams with. Roger Ebert said in his review, “A guy like that, he could play basketball on bad ankles for weeks. How does he do it? I guess he has plumb forgotten the spike through his hand. There have been a lot of distractions, like being attacked by alligators at the New York City Zoo, and falling out of an airplane without his parachute, and shooting at a Boeing 727 with a handgun.” Arnold is amazingly calm under this threat. After he shoots the alligator through the head, he tells it, “You’re luggage!” The plot of “Eraser” is about Vanessa Williams as Lee Cullen, an employee of a defense contractor who comes across evidence that a secret cabal inside the U.S. government is illegally transporting advanced weapons systems. Particularly, they’re selling the Rail Gun. Charles Russell, the director of the film, explained that the Rail Gun are “hyper-velocity weapons that shoot aluminum or clay rounds at just below the speed of light.” That is 186,282 miles a second. What happens to aluminum and clay rounds shot at that speed? Ebert said, “They don’t pulverize or anything, do they? That muzzle velocity doesn’t cause overheating or anything, I suppose? At least there’s no recoil when the bullets leave the guns at just below the speed of light. I know that because at one point Arnold holds a Rail Gun in each hand (including the injured right one) and fires them simultaneously.” What is amazing is that Charles Russell wants us to believe these guns are believable. In his press notes, he elaborates:

“These guns represent a whole new technology in weaponry that is still in its infancy, though a large-scale version exists in limited numbers on battleships and tanks. They have incredible range. They can pierce three-foot-thick cement walls and then knock a canary off a tin can with absolute accuracy.” Ebert said, “If I read this correctly, he is talking here about the battleship model.”

Ebert continued, “My curiosity is awakened. To heck with the secret government plot–I want to see the U.S. Navy shooting clay bullets at just beneath the speed of light through three-foot cement walls at canaries. And I want to stay for the credits: “No canaries were harmed during the filming of this motion picture.” But I digress. “Eraser” is actually good action fun, with spectacular stunts and special effects (I liked the sequence where Arnold shoots it out with the Boeing 727) and high energy.” Arnold plays his usual heroic character, an ace operative in the federal Witness Protection Program, and Vanessa Williams is a good partner, running, jumping, fighting, shooting, kicking, screaming, being tied to chairs, smuggling computer discs, and looking great. There is also fun when Arnold contacts an old friend named Johnny C, played by Robert Pastorelli, from the Witness Protection Program. Johnny is an ex-Mafia guy, now working in a drag bar. When Arnold finds out the illegal arms are being shipped from docks controlled by the union, Johnny goes to his uncle, Tony Two Toes, who looks cruelly on anybody moving anything through the docks without union approval. Soon Johnny, Tony Two Toes, and other Mafioso are spying on a Russian ship that’s being loaded. They have the following conversation:

Tony Two Toes: Those dirty commies:

Underling: They’re not commies any more. They’re a federation of independent liberated states.

Tony Two Toes: Don’t make me hurt you, Mikey.

Ebert ended his review by saying, ““Eraser” is more or less what you expect, two hours of mindless nonstop high-tech action, with preposterous situations, a body count in the dozens, and Arnold introducing a new trademark line of dialogue (it’s supposed to be “Trust me,” but I think “You’re luggage” will win on points). Thinking back over the film, I can only praise the director’s restraint in leaving out the canary.”

This is another enjoyable Schwarzenegger flick that everyone should watch. Especially with the lines he says. Every single one of them will be on your favorite Schwarzenegger lines list. That’s what’s so fun about watching Schwarzenegger movies are simply for the lines he says and for the action, because every single one of his action films are enjoyable. This is fitting for a buddy cop movie seeing how him and Williams really have good camaraderie that you believe. Check it out and enjoy yourself.

Next week I will be looking at a film that my friend lent his VHS copy of to me to watch, but I don’t know what to make of it in the continuation of “Buddy Cop Month.”