Richard Roeper started his review by saying, “For
those of you keeping gore, I mean score, at home, Michael Myers a.k.a. The
Shape from the “Halloween” movies will be celebrating his 64th birthday in a
few days, but the relentless killer behind the white mask remains in remarkably
good shape. I guess a steady appetite for destruction and gruesome kills keeps
one slim, trim and grim.”
If there’s one thing the residents of Haddonfield,
Illinois, should know by now, it’s that about 60 years after six-year-old
Michael murdered his teenage sister Judith, 35 years after Michael went around
murdering people in the late 1970s and just hours after he killed more than a
dozen locals, he has changed into something immortal, something completely
indestructible, something as strong as a comic villain. Roeper noted, “And yet
when a diminutive, portly, escaped mental patient who looks like an unkempt
Wallace Shawn wanders into a hospital where an unruly mob has gathered and the
poor soul starts wobbling around, the townsfolk think this guy is the evil
entity who has wreaked so much carnage, and they start chasing him around as if
they’re in a bad “Frankenstein” sequel.” Come on, mob!
Roeper said, “That’s only one of the head-scratching,
unintentionally comedic, ludicrous developments in the thudding disappointment
that is “Halloween Kills,” the follow-up to the exciting and clever 2018
reboot/sequel that marked the return of Jamie Lee Curtis and was a direct
sequel to the 1978 original.” You can forget about “Halloween II” and “Halloween
III” and “Halloween H20” and every other sequel, and consider this the third
movie in this alternate universe of the franchise, with many callbacks to the
1978 and 2018 films and many characters who were children back int eh 1970s and
almost escaped Michael’s knight and are now adults who are still haunted and
want this for of evil to finally end and die.
Good luck with that.
“Halloween Kills” starts right after the events of the
2018 film, where Laurie Strode (Jamie Lee Curtis), her daughter Karen (Judy
Greer) and her granddaughter Allyson (Andi Matichak) trapped Michael Myers in a
safe room in Laurie’s house and set the place on fire. As Laurie is rushed to
the hospital with a stab to her abdomen, she sees firetrucks driving to her
home and screaming, “Nooooo! Let it burn!” However, emergency responders arrive
at the house just in time for Michael to come out of the burning basement and thoroughly
take them out, one by one – and he’s once again loose on the streets of
Haddonfield on Halloween night, ready to stab, jab, gouge, punch, and kill
anything in his path.
With Laurie (and thus the great Jamie Lee Curtis) sidelined
in the hospital, “Halloween Kills” changes the protagonist to Tommy (Anthony
Michael Hall), who was one of the kids Lauire was babysitting on that famous
night in 1978 and meets up with so many other survivors in a bar on Halloween
night every year to raise a glass to Laurie and to insist the locals to never
forget, or something like that. Another subplot involves a gay couple named Big
John and Little John (Scott MacArthur and Michael McDonald, respectively) and
get this: They’ve moved into Michael’s childhood home and completely renovated
the place from top to bottom. Roeper noted, “On Halloween night, Big John and
Little John break out the charcuterie plate, smoke some weed and watch “Minnie
and Moskowitz,” I kid you not, and they’re woefully unprepared when Michael
comes a-knockin’ on the back door and then the front door.”
As Laurie and other characters give really hard
speeches about the true look of evil and how there’s strength in numbers but if
the townsfolk aren’t careful, they’ll become as evil and savage as Michael
himself, the Masked One carves a bloody path through Haddonfield, killing
characters who behave as vacuous as the victims in countless of other typical
slasher movies. Roeper said, “Granted, there are some darkly entertaining and
strange moments, e.g., when Michael suddenly develops a Hannibal Lecter-like
flair for the dramatic, arranging a murdered couple in the same pose they
struck for a framed photo on the mantle and dropping the needle on a turntable
to play “Can I Have This Dance for the Rest of My Life?” by Anne Murray.”
Now wait, we’ve just heard from a police man who had
the chance to kill Miachel in 1978 but missed his chance – and this guy says
Michael is a six-year-old boy with the strength of a man who acts like an
animal. How did he suddenly get so sophisticated, with the bizarrely arranged
corpse displays and twisted musical selection?
It’s almost like “Halloween Kills” is an erratic, chaotic
mess.
For a sequel to the 2018 film, which was the best
sequel in the franchise, this one just gets an average rating. I was expecting
better from the film, but this one just ended up being a disappointment, like
many of the other sequels. That is why I do not recommend you to go to the theaters
to see this. Instead, if you have the paid version of Peacock, see it on there,
since it will be available on there for 60 days.
Happy Halloween everyone! I hope you enjoyed today’s
review. Enjoy trick-or-treating tomorrow night. Look out next month to see what
I will review next.