Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales

“Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales,” released in 2017, is a lively action comedy that continues the journeys of Captain Jack Sparrow, reprised by Johnny Depp, and his extravagant pirate crew. Devesh Sharma said in his review, “It's the sort of leave-your-brains-behind film that doesn't care for any sort of continuity or timeline or for that matter, originality.”

The film tries to recreate the original duo of Will Turner (Orlando Bloom) and Elizabeth Swann (Keira Knightley) with their son Henry Turner (Brenton Thwaites) and Carina Smith’s (Kaya Scodelario) romance. Like the past films, it also has a British naval officer who wants to free the oceans of pirates, an onslaught of undead people like the first three films, an enemy who wants to kill Jack because of a personal issue and a mysterious island that no one can find – the entire “On Stranger Tides” had that story – plus a curse that can be broken if a mysterious object is found, just like every film in the franchise. The timelines probably have it the worse. If Henry Turner is around twenty, than his parents are probably in their forties and that means Jack Sparrow is possibly in his sixties. However, he and his pirate team do not look like they have aged a day. Sharma noted, “He's the same spry guy and as much a ladies' man as he was in the first film.”

The story is basically Henry searching for Poseidon’s legendary trident that is told to have the ability to break every curse that is on the sea. He wants to break the curse of being the undead captain that The Flying Dutchmen put on his father, Will. For Henry to succeed, he goes to Captain Jack for help, who is being tracked by another undead captain Armando Salazar, played by Javier Bardem. Barbossa, reprised by Geoffrey Rush, and Carina also want the trident for their own reasons and how this oddball crew succeeds in their mission is basically the story of the film.

Sharma said, “One department where the intent of directors Joachim Rønning and Espen Sandberg can't be doubted is the visual imagery. Whether it's at the beginning where a whole house is pulled around a village by a team of horses or the climax where the sea is literally parted into two halves, the visual spectacles are staggering. The ghosts ships, the undead sea monsters – all contribute to a colourful bonanza that goes on and on and takes you on a fantastic journey.”

There is no doubt about Depp’s, Bardem’s or even Rush’s acting talents. They fall back into their roles and Brenton and Kaya really work off of one another. There are no complaints there either.

The franchise was supposed to be done after the third film but now, since Bloom and Knightley seem to be back, it looks like we will have more sequels in the future. Johnny Depp is in his mid-fifties and he looks good. This means that he can continue playing Jack Sparrow for quite some time.

Now this was the only other movie in the franchise that I had seen in theaters. I really enjoyed it, even though I did notice some obvious CGI effects and the slow-motion was used a lot, but I still had a fun time watching it. If you enjoyed the other films in the franchise, even though you acknowledge that the sequels are not as good as the first one, then you should see this one. Just don’t mind the fact that the sequels suck, just see every film in the franchise and judge for yourself. I think every film has enjoyment in it, and I enjoyed every film in the franchise. See this one and have a great, fun time.

Thank you everyone for joining in on “Pirates of the Caribbean Month.” I hope everyone enjoyed this month, as I enjoyed talking about how much fun these films are. Enjoy Halloween night. Since I don’t think trick-or-treating will be happening this year, just enjoy the candy on your own and watch some good Halloween related movies.

I will see everyone next month for the next franchise that I will review.

Gerald's Game

Today, I finished watching “Gerald’s Game,” released in 2017, on NetFlix, which is another movie that I was watching while I was exercising. Seeing how this is a Stephen King adaptation, it was perfect to watch for Halloween. Want to know what I mean?

There is an old trick, which is what the movies say, where someone goes through torture. They don’t just hurt them; they show exactly what they’re going to do first. That’s when the audience gets an idea of the fear that is going to happen. Instantly there is a slash and you wait for that part when you finally get hurt, possibly, really bad.

Mike Flanagan understands this story like the back of his hand. The beginning of “Gerald’s Game,” based on a Stephen King novel, tells everything of the film’s trappings with stylish malice. Suitcases are packed, with one having a nightgown and the other with handcuffs. There is a very long drive to a desolate cabin that has a dirty, starving dog walking around. The door is left open and a little bottle of a man’s medicine to help him get started for an exciting night.

This scary setup of bad timing and unfortunate events ends with Jessie (Carla Gugino) handcuffed to a bed by her husband, Gerald (Bruce Greenwood). Things were going nicely, and then things went worse with Gerald having a heart attack and dying, with Jessie still handcuffed to the bed alone and not having a lot of movement. No one is around, including the neighbors, phone or water. All we see is Jessie, Gerald’s corpse, and (gasp) the starving dog.

William Bibbiani said in his review, “What an exquisitely Hitchcockian nightmare scenario we have in Gerald’s Game. But of course, these kind of gimmicks have been disappointing before. It’s so easy to get wrapped up in showmanship and forget that however weird the situation is, a movie is still a story, and the story needs to be told, not just shown off. Too many filmmakers yell “Look, ma! Watch me dive!” and then bellyflop it.”

Bibbiani continued, “Fortunately, Mike Flanagan is evolving into an incredibly classy filmmaker. Gerald’s Game is a malignant escape room movie, a sort of LucasArts point-and-click scenario where every tool at Jessie’s disposal must to be used to ensure her survival, and not necessarily for the purpose they were originally intended.” How she figures everything out is smart, regardless if you’re able to think of them before she does.

Bibbiani said, “But those are just nuts and bolts. What they build is a dramatic scenario in which Jessie, going very quickly out of her mind, must rummage through her whole life and summon not just the will to live, but the right way to do so.” With the help of Gerald’s ghost, who won’t stop talking to her, and a open-minded version of herself, Jessie watches how she become who she is, accepting everything that she has gone through, how she ended up the way she is, and what she needs to evolve into at the moment, before the worse happens.

“Gerald’s Game” knows when to have the audience stuck on the bed with Jessie, and when to flashback all over her traumatizing past. Bibbiani credited, “The film glides from chilling to cheeky almost effortlessly, earning its dramatic revelations. Even when Gerald’s Game seems to go off the rails for a few scenes, right towards the end, we discover that this was all part of a greater design.” Without these parts, without the dialogue, without the reveal, as surprising as it looks, the movie would not have as big of an impact.

Bibbiani ended his review by saying, “Gerald’s Game is a set of tightly wound gears that cranks out dread. Carla Gugino and Bruce Greenwood are as superb as they have ever been, relishing in the opportunity to ask and answer all the big and little questions about Jessie, within the confines of an exquisite, simple, torturously suspenseful thriller.”

In all honesty everyone, this is a very scary film. If you have liked any other Stephen King adaptations, then you should see this one, because it fits for Halloween. You will really get scared with everything that happens in the film and you will be rooting for Jessie to get out of the handcuffs. I’m not going to say how it happens, but you will feel every impact this film throws at you. See it on NetFlix and get a good scare.

Thank you for joining in on tonight’s review. Look out this Friday for the conclusion of “Pirates of the Caribbean Month.”

Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides

Captain Jack Sparrow is out on the ocean again with “Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides,” released in 2011, but how does this work without Gore Verbinski on the team?

Gone are the curses, dead men’s chests, or world endings, so Captain Jack Sparrow, reprised by Johnny Depp, continues to seek out the location of the legendary Fountain of Youth. Sadly, trying to rescue his old friend Gibbs (Kevin McNally) has him fighting with the English crown now being worn by a privateer named Captain Barbossa (Geoffrey Rush). This looks like the Spanish are fighting to find the fountain first, and what’s worse, someone pretending to be Jack Sparrow is hiring their own crew to find the fountain. When an old girlfriend (the beautiful Penélope Cruz) ends up being in the hunt, it doesn’t take long for Captain Sparrow to become unconscious and imprisoned on the Queen Anne’s Revenge, captained by the pirate that every pirate is afraid of, Blackbeard (Ian McShane).

With the amount of money that this franchise has made, a fourth film was predictable. Kevin A.Ranson said in his review, “As another chance to visit our favorite characters again and see what they’ve been up to (other than the happy ending of the original three), On Stranger Tides bursts at the seams with plot, almost to the point of collapsing in on its own weight. Ian McShane’s Blackbeard is, sadly, wasted (as is much of that plotline except as a catalyst to put Jack at odds with Cruz’s character), but the remaining focus on Sparrow and Barbossa continues not only the tale of their rivalry but also why (and how well) they ever worked together to begin with.”

Even though fans of this franchise met Sparrow and Barbossa so long after they had their differences, the two look like they could have been anything but enemies. Ranson said, “On Stranger Tides challenges that notion, a grand subplot interrupting a perfectly entertaining masterplot (and this is where the problems come in). Depp and Rush are so in tune with their characters at this point that they could probably take a request from the audience and burst into an impromptu scene, but by the time the film ends, the perfect balance between these pirate rivals is struck at last to something resembling an accord, but time will tell.”

Ranson noted, “An issue with all of the Pirates films has been a missing sense of where they actually are at any time, and this film is the worst by far (are they in Cuba? Florida? Another island? Tell us… show us! The Caribbean isn’t that big).” Introducing the Spanish into the cast gives the series many places it can travel to. Even though the main plot is surpassed by subplot, the production in its entirety looks like it has been designed to both reboot the franchise without Gore Verbinski and giving new oceans to sail. Ranson mentioned, “Many of the new characters are welcome additions, including a zombie seer, a kind-hearted clergyman, truly monstrous mermaids, and the Queen Anne’s Revenge herself (or maybe it’s just Blackbeard’s sword…hmm).” Until the predictable fifth movie, here’s hoping both captains play nice with the winds and every ocean.

This was a very enjoyable film in the franchise. I missed the chance to see this in theaters that I ended up rented it from the library and watching it while I exercise. I personally think that if you have enjoyed every film in the franchise, don’t miss you chance to see this one. You will love it if you enjoyed the other films in the series.

Look out next week when I finish up “Pirates of the Caribbean Month” with the most recent film in the franchise.

The Witches

Tonight I checked out “The Witches” adaptation that was released on HBO Max, so I will talk about both adaptations, starting with the 1990 adaptation that I saw a little of in third grade but didn’t see entirely until a while back.

The best children’s stores are the scariest ones, because to kids they seem most likely to have the truth. A lot of stores end with everybody living happily ever after, but they’re boring stories if they have a good chance that awful dangers must be faced as they travel to the ending. Roger Ebert noted in his review, “Roald Dahl's children's stories always seem to know that truth, and the best thing about Nicolas Roeg's film of Dahl's book "The Witches" is its dark vision - this is not only a movie about kids who are changed into mice, it's a movie where one of the mice gets its tail chopped off.”

The film starts in a dark way in Norway, with Luke (Jasen Fisher) being told stories about witches by his grandmother (Mai Zetterling). She tells him that they’re real and they are all around us. However, you can see them if you get a good look at them, because they have square feet. They’re also bald and have pointy noses, but the important thing is, they’re not made-up. The grandmother has even heard about a Grand High Witch who is the leader of the crew, and is the most terrible out of everyone.

Suddenly tragedy happens when Luke’s parents, played by Darcy Flynn and Vincent Marzello, are killed in a car accident. He travels with his grandmother to England on family business, and they stay at a seaside hotel that is hosting a convention of the Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children. Somehow when you see the leader of the crew, Miss Ernst, played by Angelica Huston, you don’t feel good about you avoiding cruelty if you’re a child.

Ebert noted, “Huston, whose energy dominates the film, dresses like a vampire vamp with stiletto heels, a tight black dress, a severe hair style and blazing red lipstick. Roeg often photographs her using lenses that make her leer into the camera, and she's always towering over everybody, especially little boys like Luke. Wandering through the labyrinthine hallways of the old hotel, Luke stumbles upon a private meeting one day, and discovers to his horror that the Society is actually a convention of witches - and that Huston, the fabled Grand High Witch, has plans to turn all of the children in England into mice.”

Suddenly Luke is seen while eavesdropping, and becomes one of the first children forced to drink a secret potion and become a mouse. This is where the mastery of the late Jim Henson is shown, as Henson and his special effects team makes a place where large pieces of furniture hover the little boy-mouse and his friend Bruno, played by Charlie Potter, as they try to survive cats and extermination and save the children of England.

Some of the parts are predictable form other movies about people who shrink to a size that you cannot see with your eyes. Others are new, including the way Luke is finally able to convince his grandmother he is her grandson and not a mouse. Lucky for him she believes in witches already. The movie turns into a saving mission, good against evil, and Roeg doesn’t let his young audiences go of the evil acts in the story.

Ebert noted, “This is the first so-called children's movie from Nicolas Roeg, that most unorthodox of directors, whose credits include "Don't Look Now," "Eureka" and "Insignificance." He almost always expresses a twisted, sinister sensuality in his films, and in this one that sensibility expresses itself in his willingness to let the child-mice face some of the real dangers of their predicament.” What happens is the movie might be a lot for children audiences (despite some of them currently being too soft for anything). However, “The Witches” is an exciting movie, motivated and innovative, and almost worth seeing just for Anjelica Huston’s obvious enjoyment in playing a completely uncompromised villainess.

But what can be said about the 2020 adaptation, which came out on HBO Max today? This isn’t the first time the book has been adapted. Brian Orndorf said in his review, “In 1990, director Nicolas Roeg and co-producer Jim Henson had their way with the source material, combing nutty Euro filmmaking sensibilities with glorious Henson-y practical magic for their take on evildoing inside a luxury hotel, with mice making life difficult for dangerous witches.” It was a very dark adaptation of a very dark book, and now 30 years later director Robert Zemeckis and co-writter Guillermo del Toro try their take with a second adaptation, and one that’s mainly CGI-heavy in the finale. Orndorf said, “While the thrill of puppetry and makeup effects is gone, the new version of “The Witches” doesn’t take it easy when it comes to the demented activities found in Dahl’s work, and while the endeavor is more adrenalized with chases and near-misses, it remains an entertaining sit for brave young audiences.”

Losing his parents to a car accident in 1968, Charlie (Jahzir Kadeem Bruno) moves in with his Grandmother (Octavia Spencer) in Alabama, starting a new life. Even though the two get close, there is evil lurking, with Charlie dodging an early encounter with a witch who offers Charlie a special piece of candy. Reacting quickly, Grandmother moves Charlie to a remote hotel for safekeeping, hoping to use her healing magic to take control of the problem. Also at the hotel is The Grand High Witch, played by Anne Hathaway, who books in for a weekend even with other witches, making a plan to destroy the children all over the planet by using a special potion that will be added in chocolates that will turn them all into mice. Charlie, with pet mouse Daisy, voiced by Kristen Chenoweth, learns of the plan, soon turned into a mouse himself by The Grand High Witch. Running for safety with Daisy and another victim, Bruno, played by Codie-Lei Eastick, Charlie goes back to Grandmother, with the four going out to stop the witch convention.

Orndorf said, “Charlie is introduced as an older character at the beginning of “The Witches,” with Chris Rock becoming his most Chris Rock-iest as the character (he’s an unnecessary addition), taking on narration duties as the tale dials back to 1968, where the boy was put into his guardian’s care.” The screenplay (credited to del Toro, Zemeckis, and Kenya Barris) inserts the work to help the relationship between Charlie and his Grandmother, with Charlie learning about the healing magic of music and food, and Daisy gives him animal friendship. We also are told more about Grandmother’s history with the witches, as she says in a flashback (Miranda Sarfo Peprah) where one of her good friends (Ashanti Prince-Asafo) was turned into a chicken, leaving Grandmother to be scared of stranger women offering candy. Grandmother gives the warning signs of a witch, helping Charlie to look out for large nostrils, reptilian cheek slits, and special glamour to help hide their true face.

Once the danger is made, the action moves to the hotel setting and stays there, following Charlie and Daisy as they accidentally go into the ballroom with the witches, where the evil make their horrendous plans to expunge children. Orndorf noted, “It’s here where Zemeckis begins to unleash CGI and wirework, transforming The Grand High Witch into a violent creature with a wide bite and scarred head, also showcasing extending arms and talon-like feet, giving Hathaway (who’s having a ball here) a full creature makeover, embracing the threat of the character by keeping the camera tight on her flesh-tearing freakouts. “The Witches” doesn’t soften Dahl’s imagination, preserving menace and bodily harm, but the 2020 adaptation is definitely a slicker production, animating mice, witch transformations, and a cat, while the director’s appealing preference for lengthy tracking shots remains intact, following a transformed Charlie, Bruno, and Daisy around the hotel as they make their way to safety and, later in the feature, execute special attacks on the convention attendees (armed with the special mouse potion).”

Orndorf ended his review by saying, ““The Witches” maintains a ripping pace and offers compelling set pieces for younger audiences, with the mice and Grandmother creating all sorts of chaos around the property. While the wonderful textures of the 1990 version are gone here, Zemeckis maintains screen energy, offering lighthearted adventuring and sinister witch visitations, coming together with spirited performances and the director’s longstanding interest in wicked encounters. “The Witches” remains quite fun and in line with Dahl’s imagination, even when it branches out to sample other areas of this world with newfound cinematographic fluidity.”

The original 1990 version is definitely a dark film, as it came out during a time when PG did used to scare children. However, it is still a good film that I think everyone can check out and get a good scare while watching it. That’s not to say that the 2020 adaptation is in any way bad, even though reviews of it don’t look good. I still think Anne Hathaway and Octavia Spencer are amazing in the film and the effects, even though they are CGI, are still pretty scary for kids today. Also, the new adaptation tries to follow the book more, although I cannot say how good of a job it does, since I never read the books. However, check the two adaptations out, since they are good movies to watch around Halloween time.

Thank you for joining in on my reviews tonight. Look out tomorrow for the continuation of “Pirates of the Caribbean Month.”

Pirates of Caribbean: At World’s End

“Playing this character and being this character and delivering this character will always bring a smile to my face,” said Johnny Depp on his last day of filming “Pirates of Caribbean: At World’s End,” released in 2007. Depp does need to smile because Captain Jack Sparrow has become one of cinema’s most memorable rascals.

Remember what happened to Captain Sparrow at the end of “Dead Man’s Chest?” Wow! The famous creature Kraken got him in its tentacles. In the beginning of “At World’s End,” we see Captain Sparrow stuck in Davy Jones’ really surrealistic jail. There is nothing to worry about because he has help coming. Captain Sparrow desperately needs to help pirates from all over the world in their fight with the East India Company and the plan to destroy piracy in the ocean forever. Will Turner (Orlando Bloom), Elizabeth Swann (Keira Knightley), and even Captain Barbossa (Geoffrey Rush) hope to bring the Nine Lords of the Pirate Brethren to fight against the power-hungry trading company, which now rules the Flying Dutchman along with its evil captain, Davy Jones, reprised by Bill Nighy. After getting charts and a ship from Chinese pirate Sao Feng, played by Chow Yun Fat, the rescue team frees Sparrow, and the war to make the world safe again for pirates start.

Betty Jo Tucker asked in her review, “Why do we want these outrageous scalawags to win? After all, they are an unscrupulous bunch who can’t even trust each other.” Executive producer Mike Stenson gives a good explanation. “When you’re growing up, you want to be a pirate,” he says. “You want to do something that’s about freedom, no rules, not dealing with authority.” Stenson says that as we get older, we have to always deal with authority and agreement, so it’s great to spend a couple of hours experiencing and rooting for “the darker, swashbuckling, more independent version” of ourselves.

We always do cheer. Tucker said, “Granted, it’s easy to hope the snooty, villainous Lord Cutler Beckett (Tom Hollander) of the East India Company will finally get his comeuppance, even if it takes a bunch of no-so-perfect pirates to trim his sails -- especially when Capt. Jack Sparrow is aboard. Fortunately, our unkempt gold-toothed hero gets more screen time here than in Dead Man’s Chest, making At World’s End an even tastier treat for avid Depp fans like me.”

Included in this fight are the usual cast members of the franchise – plus some new characters who add to the sword fighting fun. It’s almost too much in one movie, but I’m not complaining. Tucker said, “I’m willing to suffer through a film’s numerous plotlines and out-of-control action as long as I can watch Johnny Depp weave his Jack Sparrow magic.”

Before this confusing film ends it’s almost three-hour running time, incredible special effects and amazing set pieces fill the screen. Satisfyingly, a lot of mocking humor corrects the action intensity, and the look of the movie is great to look at. Tucker ended her review by saying, “But it’s Captain Jack Sparrow who steals the show once again -- and I hope not for the last time.”

I actually saw this film in theaters and I found myself really enjoying it. Even though this may be considered a step down from the previous installments, I still liked this movie a lot. If you have seen the other “Pirates” movies and want to see this one, by all means go ahead. I don’t think it will hurt anyone who wants to see this franchise, but if you don’t like the sequels, I understand. However, I still find myself thoroughly enjoying the franchise, and I think everyone else will if they give it a chance.

This is not the last film in the franchise, as everyone might have guessed. Stay tuned next week to see the next review in “Pirates of the Caribbean Month.”

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest

With his hysterical portrayal of the naughty and oddball Captain Jack Sparrow, Johnny Depp is back in “Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest,” released in 2006. This would come as no surprise for those who saw him play the same role in the first movie. By making this famous character, Depp has shown how an actor’s innate ability can make incredible special effects and funny action scenes look dull in comparison.

“None of us would be back if Johnny Depp had not wanted to play this character again,” admits producer Jerry Bruckheimer. “He loved playing him in the first movie and the audience loved him right back. Johnny is one of our greatest actors. He invented Jack Sparrow in the first movie, and he’s not one to rest on his laurels for the second and third. He takes a character to even new heights.”

In the sequel to the “Pirates” trilogy, Jack Sparrow faces off once more with the supernatural. If he can’t win against Davy Jones, played by Bill Nighy, by finding his “dead man’s chest,” he will lose his soul to this legendary Ruler of the Ocean Depths, who also is in charge of the famous Flying Dutchman ghost ship. Very laborious, especially when Sparrow is kidnapped by natives who think he is their god but plan to eat him! Also, where are Will Turner (Orlando Bloom) and Elizabeth Swann (Keira Knightley) when he needs them? There’s nothing to worry about. Their wedding is interrupted, and each one will join in his quest – but whether to help or delay Sparrow’s plans is to be seen. In fact, Captain Sparrow is not the only one searching for Davy Jones’ chest. The powerful East India Company believes it holds the secret to taking over the waters and will do anything to get this chest.

Now the fight is on. Jack Sparrow and his friends must fight scary looking ghouls, a sea monster with gigantic tentacles, a Voodoo priestess, and their own demons before a cliffhanger ending leaves audiences itching for the third “Pirates of the Caribbean” movie, which came out the next year.

Betty Jo Tucker said in her review, “Like most Johnny Depp fans, I never get tired of watching him. But that causes a problem. When Depp isn’t on screen, I’m preoccupied with thinking about when he’ll be back, and the rest of the movie suffers. No matter how spectacular the action sequences and special effects come across in Dead Man’s Chest, I would prefer looking at Captain Jack Sparrow’s long dreadlocks, gold teeth, outrageous eyeliner and disheveled pirate garb while listening to his woozy voice as he sashays around trying to trick everyone into doing his bidding.”

Tucker ended off by saying, “Therefore, dear reader, consider the source when I say you’ll get your money’s worth of entertainment from Dead Man’s Chest, but that it would be a better movie with Captain Jack Sparrow in every scene.”

Now I know this movie may not be as good as the first one, but I still found it very enjoyable and entertaining to watch. My brother had actually downloaded this movie online and we watched the film. I didn’t mind it, although people say the sequels started to get progressively worse, but I don’t think so. If you enjoyed the first one, then you should definitely check this one out, especially if you like Depp’s portrayal of Jack Sparrow. What I didn’t know is that this film is based off of a Disneyland ride.

How is the third film you ask? You will have to wait next week in the continuation of “Pirates of Caribbean Month” to find out.

Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl

October is here once again and it is time for “Halloween Month.” This time around, I will only be posting on Fridays, as I normally do, unless something comes up this month and I end up reviewing other movies, but I don’t know how likely that will be. For this month, I will finally be reviewing a franchise that I have wanted to review since I started “Halloween Month,” the “Pirates of the Caribbean” franchise. I almost reviewed this last year, but pushed it to this year. I’m so excited that we’ll just jump right into the first movie, “Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl,” released in 2003.

Roger Ebert started his review by stating, “There's a nice little 90-minute B movie trapped inside the 143 minutes of "Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl," a movie that charms the audience and then outstays its welcome. Although the ending leaves open the possibility of a sequel, the movie feels like it already includes the sequel; maybe that explains the double-barreled title. It's a good thing that Geoffrey Rush and Johnny Depp are on hand to jack up the acting department. Their characters, two world-class goofballs, keep us interested even during entirely pointless swordfights.”

Ebert then continued by saying, “Pointless? See if you can follow me here.” Captain Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp) has a real hatred for Captain Barbossa (Geoffrey Rush), who was the captain of a rebellion on Sparrow’s pirate ship, the Black Pearl, and left Sparrow stranded on a deserted island. Barbossa and his crew then spread an ancient curse that turned everything into the Undead. By day they look like normal if degenerate humans, but by night, they’re revealed as skeletal corpses. This is the most important fact: Because they’re already dead, they cannot be killed. Ebert said, “Excuse me for supplying logic where it is manifestly not wanted, but doesn't that mean there's no point in fighting them? There's a violent battle at one point between the Black Pearl crew and sailors of the Royal Navy, and unless I am mistaken the sailors would all eventually have to be dead because the skeletons could just keep on fighting forever, until they won. Yes? The only reason I bring this up is that the battle scenes actually feel as if they go on forever. It's fun at first to see a pirate swordfight, but eventually it gets to the point where the sword-clashing, yardarm-swinging and timber-shivering get repetitious. I also lost count of how many times Jack Sparrow is the helpless captive of both the British and the pirates, and escapes from the chains/brig/noose/island.”

Ebert continued, “And yet the movie made me grin at times, and savor the daffy plot, and enjoy the way Depp and Rush fearlessly provide performances that seem nourished by deep wells of nuttiness. Depp in particular seems to be channeling a drunken drag queen, with his eyeliner and the way he minces ashore and slurs his dialogue ever so insouciantly. Don't mistake me: This is not a criticism, but admiration for his work. It can be said that his performance is original in its every atom.” There has never been a pirate, or a human in that way, like this in any other movie. One person said that he got too much sun while he was deserted on the island, but his behavior is a lifetime of rehearsal. Ebert describes him as “a peacock in full display.”

Ebert compared, “Consider how boring it would have been if Depp had played the role straight, as an Errol Flynn or Douglas Fairbanks (Sr. or Jr.) might have. To take this material seriously would make it unbearable. Capt. Sparrow's behavior is so rococo that other members of the cast actually comment on it. And yet because it is consistent and because you can never catch Depp making fun of the character, it rises to a kind of cockamamie sincerity.”

Geoffrey Rush is fairly quiet – but only by contrast. Ebert is funny when he said, “His Barbossa, whose teeth alone would intimidate a congregation of dentists, brings gnashing to an art form.”

Only the film’s PG-13 rating prevents him from doing inappropriate things to the heroine, Elizabeth Swann, played by Keira Knightley, whose blood, it is told, can free the captain and his crew from the Curse of the Black Pearl.

Elizabeth is the daughter of Weatherby Swann, the governor (Jonathan Pryce) of Part Royal, a British base in the Caribbean, and is arranged to marry Cmdr. Norrington (Jack Davenport), a destiny which we feel would be a lifetime of conversations about his constipation.

She actually loves the handsome young swordsmith Will Turner, played by Orlando Bloom, whom she met when they were both children, after seeing him from afar on a raft with a golden pirate medallion around his neck, which turns out to hold the key to the curse. Jack Sparrow becomes like a fatherly figure to Will, especially after he finds out who his father was…and that is enough of the story.

Ebert said, “Bloom is well cast in a severely limited role as the heroic straight-arrow. He has the classic profile of a silent-film star. Knightley you will recall as the best friend of the heroine in "Bend It Like Beckham," where she had a sparkle altogether lacking here.”

Ebert continued, “Truth be told, she doesn't generate enough fire to explain why these swashbucklers would risk their lives for her, and in closeup, seems composed when she should smolder. Parminder K. Nagra, the star of "Beckham," might have been a more spirited choice.”

Ebert admitted, “"Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl" is "based on" the theme park ride at Disney World, which I have taken many times. It is also inspired (as the ride no doubt was) by the rich tradition of pirate movies, and excels in such departments as buried treasure, pirates' caves, pet parrots and walking the plank, although there is a shortage of eye patches and hooks.”

The author Dave Eggers said he had plans to open a Pirates’ Store, filled with planks measured and made to order, and “The Curse of the Black Pearl” is like his dream come true.

I saw this movie when I was a freshman in High School one day in class and again when it was On Demand. I really enjoyed this film and it’s a good popcorn flick. If you haven’t seen this movie, then you should, you will enjoy it, especially since this is a Disney movie.

No surprise, this film launched a franchise, which we will look at throughout this month. Next week, I will talk about the first sequel in “Pirates of the Caribbean Month.”