Ghost Rider

For the finale of Nicolas Cage Month, I thought it would seem fitting to look at one of the worst mistakes in Cage’s acting career, “Ghost Rider,” released in 2007.

Teaming up over-actor Nicolas Cage with the questionable abilities of comic book adaptation director Mark Steven Johnson was always going to be something to doubt, but their efforts go horribly wrong in a narrow movie. This CGI-covered attempt at a franchise beginning puts Cage as Johnny Blaze – a daredevil motorcycle rider who at night turns into a motorcycle rider on fire and a pawn for Satan, Mephistopheles, played by Peter Fonda. With a skull on fire, he’s on a mission to stop a team of fallen angels led by Mephistopheles’s son Blackheart, played by Wes Bentley, from breaking anarchy on Earth.

For the necessary starter to the movie, we first see young Johnny (Matt Long) as part of a stunt double act with his cancer patient father Barton Blaze (Brett Cullen) and in a great relationship with his hot girlfriend Roxanne (Raquel Alessi). When Mephistopheles appears giving a cure for Barton in exchange for Johnny’s soul, everything looks fine…for five minutes. The next day Barton dies after crashing during a stunt and Johnny runs from his girlfriend to wait for Mephistopheles to call and become his henchman. Cut to years later when Blaze is an adult and jaded, who is a daredevil everywhere, making everyone love him except himself: he is gotten used to surviving near death crashes as he is kept alive for a more fortunate job. When Blackheart and his team show up, Mephistopheles reminds the time on the contract to turn Blaze into the Ghost Rider. Mike Barnard stated in his review, “Armed with a motorbike, chain and lots of fire to defeat the foes it is goodbye Cage, hello CGI superhero number 53.”

Writer/director Mark Steven Johnson’s “Daredevil” and “Elektra” movies (both of which he wrote, and the former he also directed) were not very smart but had a lot of action in them, and this is not any different. Barnard noted, “Cage sleepwalks through his role as Blaze, mostly looking like he only got up a second before shooting each scene. As the Ghost Rider, computer effects take over from any acting ability and it is in these moments that you realise how much fun this film could have been.” Riding through the streets and up tall buildings he destroys roads, cars and everything else with eye-candy over-the-top pyrotechnics shooting off in every direction. However, when he goes up against his enemies, they are killed in a few short seconds. There are not any long fights, just a disappointing chain spin for every foe. Aside from that, Bentley, Fonda and the hot Eva Mendes have difficulty with heavy dialogue that is only there to move the story along as fast as it can. Sam Elliott’s wise custodian who helps Blaze is as corny as he can be.

Barnard noted, “The dark depths of Batman Begins, the teenage strife of the two Spider-man films and a very personal Superman Returns all proved that comic book movies do not have to be dumbed down because they are heavy on action set pieces. Ghost Rider bearly leaves a skidmark on the road of emotions as it speeds through a series of daft sequences that might sell a few toys, but will not be signposted as great cinematic eye candy.” Questions like how can a superhero on fire dive to the bottom of a river, survive and then drive a motorcycle on the surface make you realize how stupid everything is. Barnard pleaded, “After the awful remake of The Wicker Man and now this, Cage needs to produce something special next to make up for crimes against cinema. Please, let us hope it’s not a Ghost Rider sequel.”

Well, sad news Barnard. Cage reprised his role of Johnny Blaze in one of the worst comic book sequels and sequels ever made, “Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance,” released in 2012.

Scott started his review out by saying, “When I go to see a Nicolas Cage movie I expect cheesy fun. There should be plenty of over the top action and even further over the top acting. I've seen so many of his movies now that I know better than to expect one to actually be good. The most I ever hope for is that it will be so bad that it's good. Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance accomplishes the first half of that quite easily, but never gets around to the second. It's just plain bad.”

Scott goes on to say, “Do you remember the first Ghost Rider movie? I saw it less than 5 years ago and yet I only have the vaguest memories of it and what I do remember of it is all negative. I had to reread my own review just to remind myself what I thought about it, which wasn't much and this review will mostly say the same.”

Cage is once again Johnny Blaze. A man who sold his soul to Satan so that his father’s cancer could be cured. Johnny finds out that he made a wrong move and now turns into the Ghost Rider at night, a skeleton on fire who rides a motorcycle and has a burning chain. He has the greatest superhero power which is the Penance Stare. He looks completely intimidating and the story sounds dark and is given possibilities, which everything goes unfulfilled. What looks like a dark and twisted movie is instead looking like a kids or a teens flick.

For no reason whatsoever Mephistopheles or Roarke, now played by Ciarán Hinds, lives on Earth in a man’s body. In order for him to stay alive he has to once in a while change bodies. Over 12 years before the movie’s beginning he got a woman by the name of Nadya Ketch (Violante Placido) pregnant and now that her son, Danny (Fergus Riordan) is close to his 13^th birthday Roarke wants to transfer his soul into Danny’s body. Johnny promises a member of a secret religious organization named Moreau, played by Idris Elba, that if he can protect Danny and stop Roarke from transferring his soul into Danny’s body, Moreau will lift the Ghost Rider curse from Johnny. The rest of the movie is just a lot of chase scenes as Roarke and Johnny switch up who chases who, depending on who has Danny in their grasp during that certain chase. It’s like the old Willie E. Coyote and Road Runner cartoons, only not entertaining.

Some of the visuals are actually amazing. The Ghost Rider with his motorcycle on fire and his flaming chain look much better here than in the first movie. A drug Dealer named Ray Carrigan, played by Johnny Whitworth, is granted the power of decay from Roarke, meaning that anything he touches will be decayed right then and there (then why isn’t anything on him decaying), which looks pretty good, but the last fight between him and Rider is disappointing.

The violence in here is not bloody and very cartoonish. The Rider only kills with his chain, which evaporates his victims. He is able to survive near-death experiences easily, including get blown away by missiles. Because of his close complete protection there is never any real pressure.

Scott said, “I wasted an extra four dollars by paying to see this movie in 3-D. In a world where 3-D adds very little to films, this one outdoes itself by doing even less. There's absolutely nothing to be gained except the studio a little more money by seeing this in 3-D.”

What’s seriously missing is your ability to have fun. There’s no humor either intentional or unintentional. The actors take it seriously enough, but not seriously enough to have it look campy. It’s completely boring. Scott admitted, “About the most fun I had was spotting Christopher Lambert and Anthony Head in two very small parts.”

Scott ended his review by saying, “I don't know what keeps that flaming motorcycle running because these movies ran out of gas sometime during the first film.”

In the end, these two movies blow. Despite the fact that when Johnny turns into Ghost Rider, nothing in this movie makes it interesting. These are just two of the worst comic book adaptations ever made, and they are just a pain to sit through. Don’t bother going out to look for them because you will be really disappointed when watching it. Nicolas Cage thankfully said that if they are going to do a third movie (which hopefully they don’t), he will not reprise the role. Smart idea Mr. Cage.

Thank goodness I got those two over with. Now we have ended “Nicolas Cage Month.” I hope all of you enjoyed it. Stay tuned next month, which will be February. That’s right, it’s time for my fifth round of “Black History Month Movie Reviews.” Stay tuned because I got a franchise that I will have a great time reviewing.

Face/Off

There’s definitely a drawing point between a ridiculous action story that satisfies the audience into shaky, persistent acceptance and one that makes the viewer folds their arms as to show that they are annoyed. Peter Canavese stated in his review, “It's all about the return on the investment of credulity: what do you get for meeting this movie halfway (if not more than halfway)?” When looking at “Face/Off,” released in 1997, you the intelligent casting that makes the movie look like an all-star cast to complete the all-star films. Canavese stated, “You also get director John Woo triumphantly wielding Hollywood resources for one of his patented gonzo action ballets. Trust me: it's worth it.”

I agree with Canavese when he said, “Despite those balletic shootouts, Face/Off seems tonally pitched somewhere between opera and comic book.” The crazy officer in this film is FBI agent Sean Archer, played by John Travolta. Under Archer’s firm attitude, his covert anti-terrorist team has been endlessly finding the crazed terrorist Castor Troy, played by Nicolas Cage. It’s more than police duty for Archer, this is personal. Troy accidentally killed Archer’s son, played by Myles Jeffrey, while trying to kill Archer and Archer won’t stop until he has his vengeance. Unfortunately, since he has his mind set on vengeance, it drives him away from his family and has weakened his relationship with wife Eve (Joan Allen) and teen daughter (Dominique “Lolita” Swain). The amazing supporting cast of FBI agents and crooks includes Arve Presnell and John Carroll Lynch, CCH Pounder, Robert Wisdom, Jamie Denton, Nick Cassavetes, Thomas Jane, and comedian Margaret Cho, among others.

In the type of amazing action segment you don’t see so much outside of CGI these days, Archer kidnaps Troy after chasing his airplane straight into a closed hanger (and it wouldn’t be a Woo movie if they didn’t have an all-out gun fight as well). The problem: Troy goes into a coma before showing the plans on his latest terrorist plan: a bomb planted to kill Los Angeles. With the clock ticking down, FBI doctor Malcolm Walsh (Colm Feore) gives a drastic idea: a face transplant between Archer and Troy, allowing Archer to break into Erewhon Prison and trick Castor’s scary brother Pollux (Alessandro Nivola) into revealing the location of the bomb. (Canavese said, “Nowhere land Erewhon, introduced by the line "The Geneva Convention is void here. Amnesty International doesn't know we exist" reflects our long-standing fear-desire for Abu Ghraib-style shambles.”)

Canavese also mentioned, “If you're not already having fun, try not to now, with Cage playing Travolta in a futuristic take-off on White Heat.” Still not satisfied? How about after Castor Troy wakes up from his coma and puts on Archer’s face? The only thing more fun than Cage playing Travolta is Travolta playing Cage. Also, have them together in one scene? Forget about all of that! Canavese said, “Face/Off is one for the career highlight reel, and these guys know it, putting their all into full-bodied performances with dramatic heft and ripe comic touches, whether it's Cage donning a priest's outfit and grabbing a choir girl, or Travolta (as Cage) blurting to Cage (as Travolta), "Ooo-ee—you're good-looking!"”

Travolta’s Troy says, “Ah, yes. The eternal battle between good and evil. Saint and sinner. But you’re still not having fun!” “Face/Off” gives the type of story that’s just on Woo’s level, giving for smart visual commentary on the nature of identity, personal damage, and yes, good versus evil. Take the face-off dual on two sides of a mirror stand, with the characters simultaneously pointing guns at each other and their reflections, as well as (on the other side of the mirrors) their own faces. This is you action movie adrenaline – any questions?

Canavese said, “Woo's extensive storyboards lead to a beautifully and confidently shot and edited action film, with his trademark slo-mo leaps, two-fisting of guns, Mexican standoffs, flowing overcoats, and rustled pigeons, but this particular picture seems to liberate Woo to stranger heights, as in the explosive apartment shootout that places at its center a boy named Adam (David McCurley) (Gina Gershon plays Adams mom, Sasha), watching the mayhem but hearing "Over the Rainbow" on his portable headphones—it's a haunting image of disconnect and tainted youth that only seems more resonant today (and naturally, Adam will meet Eve before the picture is over).” Like the entire movie, this scene is extreme, it’s daring, and it’s terrific. As Jamie yells during the climactic shootout (leading into a double-climactic speedboat chase), “Will someone please tell me what planet I’m on?!” Canavese answered, “Yes. You're on Planet Woo.”

Nostalgia Critic called this movie, “over-the-top, ridiculous, totally bloated 90s cheese fun.” However, I think that description fits John Woo’s previous movie with John Travolta, “Broken Arrow.” “Face/Off” is one of the best action movies I have ever seen. To have Travolta and Cage star in this, and Woo direct, it makes it all the more pleasure to watch this movie. With this all-star cast and a great action plot like this, you have to see this movie. You will love this movie because it will have you on the edge of your seat, with your adrenaline pumping and your blood flowing. If you’re a Nicolas Cage, John Travolta, and/or a John Woo fan, this movie is a must. Especially with a great line like, “I could eat a peach for hours.”

I apologize for posting this late, as so much was going on today. Look out next week when I look at a “bad” Nicolas Cage movie, which he probably has done so many of, but this one in particular was possibly the worst decision he made…maybe not. Just stick around to find out in the finale to “Nicolas Cage Month.”

Con Air

Besides not knowing when to stop at any time, “Con Air,” released in 1997, gives a very exciting flight before the crash and burn. Todd McCarthy stated in his review, “Hiply written and cast, and shrewdly positioned dramatically to exploit both the allure of lawlessness and the appeal of virtue, this first official solo effort by producer Jerry Bruckheimer is as sure-fire commercial, and just as elaborate, as anything he did with his late partner, Don Simpson. High-octane actioner will fly the distance at dizzying B.O. altitudes.”

McCarthy went on to say, “Scott Rosenberg’s insidiously clever script draws upon any number of time-tested dramatic conventions, most importantly the “Dirty Dozen” collection of hardened criminals who have nothing to lose, and the stalwart loner hero on an arduous odyssey home to his family, a man who walks the thin line between good and bad and can play one off the other, not unlike Clint Eastwood’s Man With No Name.” Viewers will be given both ways, celebrating the villain’s evil plot while staying confident that their alternate will pull them, as well as himself, all the way to the finale. The film has the more disarming quality of knowing how to joke itself.

British commercials and music video director Simon West, making his debut, really rushes through the beginning. In a few minutes, he gives every piece of information that Army ranger Cameron Poe (Nicolas Cage), unfairly jailed for eight years for a murder (Kevin Gage) that was simply self-defense, is a man of honor and righteous values, and that the plane that he is on to get back home to see his wife (the hot Monica Potter) and kid daughter (Landry Allbright), the latter for the first time, is a U.S. Marshals Service transport on a plane filled with criminals and the passenger list has every type of villain out there being transferred over to a new building.

The leader of the crew is Cyrus “The Virus” Grissom (John Malkovich), a certifiably mental but smart master criminal powerful enough to lead other three-time villains as murdering black rebellious Diamond Dog (Ving Rhames), the violent loving Billy Bedlam (Nick Chinlund) and terrifying career rapist Johnny 23 (Danny Trejo).

Almost simultaneously, the prisoners are able to take control of the plane, a slow, massive C-123K prop that first flies to Carson City, where it drops off three men, but picks up many more, including legendary serial killer Garland Greene (Steve Buscemi) and a good young pilot (M.C. Gainey) who may or may not know how to fly the plane.

McCarthy asked, “Moving things along with tremendous velocity and great verbal and thespian punch, pic keeps any number of levels of tension going during the course of the flight: Will Cameron, whose resourcefulness and smarts the ever-observant Cyrus quickly comes to admire, be found out as a parolee and not a hardened criminal?” Will Diamond Dog remain obedient for the entire time they are flying to where they are heading? Will anyone be able to stop Johnny 23 from raping the female guard, played by Rachel Ticotin, who’s handcuffed inside the plane? Will Cameron find a way to find some insulin needed for his diabetic friend in prison, Baby-O, played by Mykelti Williamson? Finally, will drag queen prisoner, Ramon Martinez ("Sally Can't Dance"), played by Renoly Santiago, ever find a dress he can change into?

At the station, U.S. Marshal Vince Larkin (John Cusack) does his best to keep up with what’s going on aviation-wise, and to prevent short-tempered DEA agent Duncan Malloy (Colm Meaney, who you might remember as Miles O’Brien from “Star Trek: The Next Generation” and “Star Trek: Deep Space Nine”) from shooting the hijacked plane down. When Cameron, in one of the film’s show-stopping scenes, accomplishes sending a message to Larkin by dropping a body out from the plane over downtown Fresno, the agent rushes to a secluded desert airfield, where Cyrus has arranged to meet with a drug kingpin named Francisco Cindino, played by Jesse Borrego, who will apparently fly them out of the country.

McCarthy mentioned, “Film begins shifting into overdrive at this point, as a fierce battle between the cons and authorities at this airplane graveyard yields a surfeit of fiery explosions and hurtling bodies. Remarkably, the surviving desperadoes manage to get the plane aloft once again, this time to land it — where else — right on the Vegas Strip.”

You could see the movie fall apart right in front of you during this completely overdone superfluous climax-on-a-climax, as it takes out the high spirits it has held on to through most of the flight. A huge scene of the plane crashing into a casino is the worst here, with violent overcutting unable to cover bad continuity, different special effects methods and inconsistent airplane speeds. McCarthy said, “Protracting things even further with the groan-inducing villain-who-won’t-die gambit, and finally with a cornball reunion scene of Cameron with his family, merely makes matters worse.”

However, the pros are able to make you want to finish the film. McCarthy credited, “Rosenberg’s sarcastic, tough-guy dialogue is full of lean-and-mean one-liners, and the superbly cast actors know how to milk them for all they’re worth.”

McCarthy also credited, “Unlikely action star Cage, very buff, walks the fine line between self-preservation and selfless heroics with great aplomb, keeping the audience with him at all times.”

Malkovich and Buscemi, both playing characters actually competing to join the Hannibal Lecter level of psychotic murderers, stand out among an amazing lineup of villains played by the tough Rhames, Gainey, Trejo, Chinlund, Jesse Borrego and Dave Chappelle, among others.

McCarthy ended his review by saying, “Stylistically, film becomes more frenetic as it goes, and West’s compositions lack the strength and definition of the best action directors. Taken individually, such important elements as the score, editing and sound work are quite over-the-top, but production values are huge overall, and one can scarcely argue that, before the plane gets to Vegas, everything doesn’t jell in a very effective way.”

Overall, this movie is an action-packed, adrenaline-rushing, macho flick. One of the best, if I may say so myself. It may have so many explosions and violence in it, but the villains are what make you want to watch it and the heroes who are trying to escape. Check this movie out because it is definitely worth seeing, especially with Nicolas Cage dominating the film after coming off of the success of “The Rock.” This one gets a definite recommendation.

Well everyone, next week is going to be a blast because I will be looking at a Nicolas Cage movie that is just one of his best ever. You might know which one I’m talking about, but I’m really looking forward to reviewing it. Check in next week to find out in “Nicolas Cage Month.”

The Rock

Happy New Year my online readers. This month will be exciting, since I’ll be borrowing a page from The Nostalgia Critic, and will be dedicating this month to an actor that has become his own stereotype, Nicolas Cage. What can be said about this man? I pretty much like to say that actors are split up into these categories: good actors, bad actors, and Nicolas Cage. I guess he can be placed in his own category, seeing how I cannot decide if he’s a good or bad actor, but can act over-the-top, if you know what I mean. To start off this month, we will be looking at one of the best action movies ever made, “The Rock,” released in 1996.

Steve Rhodes started his review by saying, “As in EXECUTIVE DECISION, we have another movie where part of the entire country may die, but the President is basically AWOL and his aides and the military brass handle all the decisions. This film is called THE ROCK and rather than wipe out a mass of humanity with nuclear weapons, this time it is chemical weapons so lethal than a teaspoon in the air kills everyone in an eight block radius. To get large audiences these days you must threaten the lives of hundreds of thousands, a couple of dozen I guess is considered passe.”

In this perfectly casted movie we have the amazing Ed Harris playing the antagonist, U.S. Brigadier General Francis Xavier Hummel. Obviously, our government is the one to blame and not him. He perfectly sums it up by saying, “The men in military special ops are selected to carry out illegal operations throughout the world. When they don’t come home, their families are told fairy tales about what happened and denied compensation. All my career I’ve choked on these lines. Well, here and now the lies stop.” In another part he quotes Thomas Jefferson when modifying his behavior by stating, “The tree of liberty from time to time must be watered by the blood of patriots.”

General Hummel makes so many U.S. soldiers become mercenaries. They massacre so many people safeguarding the chemical weapons called V.X. nerve gas. Once they get their hands on it, they take over Alcatraz. While kidnapping 81 prisoners there, they set up four rockets to fire V.X. over San Francisco unless they’re given $100,000,000 in 40 hours. Rhodes compared, “Like Robin Hood, they are only going to keep part of loot and give the rest to the relatives of soldiers who have died in other covert missions.”

The best of the movie is Nicolas Cage as Dr. Stanley Goodspeed, a chemical and biological weapons expert, and Sean Connery as John Patrick Mason, a former Special Air Service captain who once escaped from The Rock. Mason was in the British secret service, but did something that made the U.S. government to imprison him on a life sentence in complete isolation. The only problem is that he is an escape specialist and keeps escaping from the prisons he is put behind bars. They let him out of prison so he can help them break into The Rock with a Special Forces team.

Before Goodspeed and Mason go to The Rock to rescue the prisoners, they have this really long car chase across the streets of San Francisco. Rhodes notes, “In this highly derivative film the writers try for a small twist by having it be a yellow Ferrari chasing a Hummer. Among other over the top special effects we have a cable car blown straight in the air and fly over head. The director (Michael Bay) looks like he had too much money and wanted to spend it all. As I was having fun, I kept thinking of all of the great films made with small budgets that have something to say and yet it is these, admittedly enjoyable, escapist entertainment pictures that bring out the crowds.”

The script by Douglas S. Cook, John Hensleigh and David Weisberg is ridiculous and excessively dramatic, but hysterical. Usually the humor is an exchange between a tired Goodspeed and Mason during one of the action scenes. Goodspeed asks, “You enjoying this?” Mason smiles and says, “Well it’s certainly more enjoyable than my average day…reading philosophy, avoiding gang rape in the washroom…though, it’s less of a problem these days.” When they finally arrive at Alcatraz, Mason starts whining about his days in prison. This annoys Goodspeed who responds, “You know, I like history too, and maybe when this is all over you and I can stop by the souvenir shop together but right now I just... I just wanna find some rockets!” Finally, Mason explains his qualifications with, “I have a unique knowledge of this prison facility. I was formerly a guest here.”

Other than the excellent acting from our three main leads, there are about a handful of good actors in minor roles, including, but not reduced to, Commander Anderson (Michael Biehn), Eddie Paxton (William Forsythe), Major Tom Baxter (David Morse), FBI Director Womack (John Spencer), Captain Hendrix (John C. McGinley), Captain Darrow (Tony Todd), Sergeant Crisp (Bokeem Woodbine), Special Agent Shepard (Danny Nucci) and Captain Frye (Gregory Sporleder).

Rhodes noted, “The editing (Richard Francis-Bruce) is too choppy in the beginning, but the cinematography (John Schwartzman) is striking throughout. The San Francisco scenes have lush, bright colors and the Alcatraz ones are full of a warm radiance. If anything, they make the prison seem almost too pretty. There are a few cute cinematographic tricks. The most dramatic is the quick cut to an extreme close up of a spinning quarter.”

As you might have already guessed it, I highly recommend this movie, as it is one of the best action movies ever made. The best parts about it are the acting from the three main leads, the action in here is engaging, but there are some gory deaths. Other than that, you should watch this movie. Especially with lines like, “Your "best"! Losers always whine about their best. Winners go home and sleep with the prom queen,” and “But how, in the name of Zeus' BUTTHOLE!... did you get out of your cell? I only ask because in our current situation, well, it could prove to be useful information. *Maybe*!” See the film if you haven’t, you’ll love it. I can’t do the film justice by this review, it has to be seen to be believed.

Check in next week for another great review in “Nicolas Cage Month.”