Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

After 19 years of Harrison Ford asking George Lucas and Steven Spielberg to make another Indiana Jones movie, they finally did in 2008, with "Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull." However, I have never heard so much hate for a movie that isn't as bad as everyone says it is. Like the Star Wars prequels, this is a film that I like, but everyone else seems to hate. So watch out, because this blog is going to be a full-out defensive review of Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.

Now the hatred that people seem to have is the gopher, the fridge, the monkeys, and the alien. The gopher and the monkeys are only for a few seconds, the fridge went a little farfetched, as if nothing farfetched ever happened in an Indiana Jones movie. Of course you can't survive a nuclear bomb inside a fridge; it's a "movie." You also can't survive falling off a cliff on a tank or dropping out of a plane on a rubber raft and sliding off a mountain slope. It's common knowledge that Spielberg was inspired by the James Bond films, the guy who escaped near-death situations all the time. That's what it's all about. About the alien, was it really that surprising? It's practically in the title: "Kingdom of the Crystal Skull." Have you ever done any research to know that the Crystal Skull is said to be extraterrestrial, before seeing this movie? There are about a handful of television documentaries that prepared everyone for this film's release. Maybe you weren't looking at your cable guide to know when and which channel they were on.

The design of the alien is obviously giving tribute to the 1950s B-Movies, like "The Invasion of the Saucer-Men." And since this movie takes place in the 50s, can't you see why they did that? I understand if you hated the fact that the alien was a CG effect, and there was no CG in the 50s. And what's with everyone saying that aliens don't belong in an Indiana Jones film? Isn't this franchise built around fantasy? For those who probably haven't read my other blog reviews on the franchise, there are spirits that come out of an Ark that melt and explode people's faces (Indiana and Marion survived by covering their eyes), voodoo dolls, hearts being ripped out, and a knight who sits in a cave for 700 years guarding the Holy Grail. Where does everyone get off that aliens don't have a right to be in an Indiana Jones film? You don't think they would have a policy? I can understand if you say that the original trilogy was all based on a religious artifact. Like Indiana said in this film, "Depends on who your God is." Exactly, all of the films are on a higher power. He already found the Holy Grail, how do you top that?

Don't get mad that there is only a passing mention that Indiana's father passed away. You didn't expect him to live around forever, did you? I understand that you wanted it to feel like the previous films, but the reason why you would see a franchise that has been resurrected after so many years, like Star Wars or Indiana Jones, is for the nostalgia factor. I wasn't around when the other films were released in the 80s, so it was nice to see an Indiana Jones film that was released in my lifetime. And who knows, it might not be the only time, there are talks of a fifth film. The way they revealed Indiana was really nice. It's a nice way to keep you in suspense. First you see the fedora, then his shadow, before you finally see him in the full flesh. If Harrison Ford wasn't in this, it would not have the same feel to it. I have mentioned this before, and I will say it again: Indiana Jones was a tribute to B-Movies and old adventure serials. Leave your logic outside the theater, seat down, and enjoy the film. Lucas and Spielberg were having fun with this franchise, and it shows. It's not a masterpiece by any means, and nowhere near as good as Raiders of the Lost Ark, or even The Last Crusade, but it wasn't even nearly as silly as Temple of Doom. Who would expect it to be the better than 1 or 3, they were classics.

Remember the South Park episode where Lucas and Spielberg rape Indiana Jones and the South Park kids made fun of the audience's reception and the film itself? Is this how we review films, by ranting and nitpicking all of the individual moments that we hated? The Star Wars prequels aren't as good as the Original Trilogy, but are still enjoyable. They are political, yes, and Lucas didn't want to work under anyone or hear other people's opinion on the films, but they were still enjoyable, despite the fact that the Original Trilogy was puppetry and animatronics, and the Prequels were all CGI. Why can't we look at the big picture as a whole? There is a positive and a negative side to hear. Some people just want to follow the more popular opinion. Think for yourselves.

So what is this film about? Well, it does show the real-life passing of the movies, because this one opens in 1957, acknowledging the actual passing between films. Indiana is having a nice life teaching before being given a mission to find the crystal skull before the Russians, or Soviets, do. They are led by Irina Spalko, played by another Lord of the Rings cast member, Cate Blanchett. Indiana travels through Nevada, Connecticut, Peru, and the Amazon in Brazil. Marion returns in this, and tells him that a greaser named Mutt Williams (real name is actually Henry Jones III), played by Shia LeBeouf, is actually his son.

Ok, the silly moments: the gopher only appeared after the Paramount logo faded into a gopher hole, but the one I want to mention is when a bunch of kids are driving and joy riding, which is reminiscing on another Lucas film, American Graffiti. But why are they driving through the middle of a desert near a secret base? It has nothing to do with the plot, and we don't need to hear Elvis "The King of Rock and Roll" Prestly's Hound Dog to know it's 1957. Not a good way to start a movie. Another one is a jeep chase near the edge of a cliff. Well, they cut to Mutt Williams swinging around on vines like Tarzan with the CGI monkeys before he swings into the car, and the monkeys hop into the other car. Then is the Twilight Zone like scene, when Indiana stumbles onto a nuclear test town that is filled with mannequins. But there's an explanation to why he jumps into a lead lined fridge that protects him from the radiation, has him fly far away from the impact, and lands, thankfully, right side-up. We can see the gears turn in his head as he looks around to plan his escape. I thought it was pretty funny. I know you can't survive a nuclear bomb, but you can't survive falling off a cliff on a tank or on a rubber raft either. This is up there with the "Who shot first" question from A New Hope. Of course, that moment created the famous "Nuking the Fridge" internet meme. Also, why complain about the ship falling off the waterfall in this? That looks like a ride for Paramount's Kings Dominion. Now one moment, which is really cheap writing, is when Indiana is betrayed by his good friend Mac, played by Ray Winstone. Especially after a few minutes in, when it has been established that they have been longtime partners, he double-crosses Indiana, saying he works for the Soviets. After nearly getting killed and almost blacklisted, Mac starts working with Indiana again saying that he's a double agent working against the Soviets. However, near the end when they are in the temple, Mac betrays him again. However, I found it funny when Indiana said, "So what are you a...a triple agent?" No Indiana, he's a double agent, but why did you trust him twice?

Final words: the Indiana Jones movies are all entitled to some dumb moments. They recapture the spirit of the old adventure films that came out during The Great Depression and World War II. According to James Rolfe, "audiences were looking for something to escape the real world and forget about their troubles." Movies are all about entertainment. However, critics nowadays are "far more critical, have less imagination, and are not willing to suspend their disbelief" (Rolfe). That causes the death of cinema. Rolfe says, "I hope there's somebody out there that still embraces that old time B-Movie feel, and that filmmakers aren't so discouraged to try and recapture that old spirit of this cinematic pastime." There wasn't a need for another Indiana Jones, but Kingdom of the Crystal Skull was still enjoyable. If you want to watch it, just enjoy it and don't nitpick it to death like everyone else has already done enough of.

Thank you for joining me on "Indiana Jones Month," stay tuned for when I do another marathon.

Moonwalker

Everyone today marks the 4th year anniversary of the passing of one of the greatest entertainers the world had ever known: The King of Pop himself, Michael Jackson. This man had made such great songs and his dancing was beyond belief. You would think whenever you saw him doing his robotics that he had strings on, but he didn't. Since I wasn't around during the 80s, I knew that everyone back then really liked Michael Jackson. However, in the 90s, he started to become the subject of ridicule and humor, since some stuff happened that caused people to joke about him. I won't lie; I was one of them that did joke about him. Now that he is gone, which is sad, I have listened to much more of his songs, and a lot of them are on my iPod.

To celebrate the memory of MJ, I thought that I would review his cinematic opus, which came out at the height of his career, Moonwalker, released in 1988. Looking at this film, I would have to say that it is really weird. What I mean is it first starts off with Michael Jackson performing "Man in the Mirror" on stage, with a clip montage of children in Africa, Martin Luther King Jr., Mother Teresa, Mahatma Gandhi, John Lennon, Ronald Reagan, John F. Kennedy, and other historical figures that look like they are buying his call for World Peace. Thank goodness MJ was ahead of his time when it came to World Peace. After that, another montage starts that shows the history of MJ's songs, starting from Music and Me (when he was with his brothers, and they were called the Jackson 5) all the way to Dirty Diana. Then is a bunch of kids parodying his song, Bad. Come on kids, Weird Al Yankovic already did that with Fat, and that was hilarious. How many more parodies do we need of this awesome song? Brandon Quintin Adams is playing the kid version of MJ, Jermaine La Jaune Jackson, Jr. (Michael's nephew), a young Nikki Cox, Maurissa Tancharoen, future R&B star Bilal Oliver, are also in here, and the singing group called The Boys (no, I am not making that up) are the background dancers.

Next is the "Speed Demon" segment. After going through a puff of smoke, the kids become adults, and there is a tour going on with some Claymation figures. They all chase MJ when they notice him (including the Noid) to get his autograph, and MJ walks on the set of a Western being filmed (this part was directed by Spielberg) and gunslingers are out for him as well. Desperate to escape all of these people, MJ hides inside of a costume trailer and dresses up like Bugs Bunny if he was a biker, named Spike (and no, I'm not making that up either). I don't understand why MJ gives away that it's really him in disguise. Wasn't the whole point of him disguising as Spike was to get away from them? Now a car chase happens with the Speed Demon song playing in the background. To get away from his fans, MJ morphs into Sylvester Stallone as a construction worker, Tina Turner, and even Paul Reubens' television character from the 80s, Pee-Wee Herman. After he loses them, he takes off the costume, only to see that it has come to life, and they have a dance off until a cop comes in and gives him a ticket for being in a "No Dancing Zone." Before MJ rides off on his motorcycle, the head of Spike appears to say goodbye. Don't ask why, I don't know what they were smoking either.

With the Leave Me Alone music video, MJ is on a roller coaster ride telling the media to leave him alone since he went through a lot of publicity back then. However, MJ made it so difficult to leave him alone with all of this publicity, newspaper ads, jokes, and everything that it was impossible. His personal life, which the media really targeted, was compared to that roller coaster ride, and even MJ's pet chimp, Bubbles, was in this video. How odd is that?

Alright, now comes the famous segment of the film. It first starts off with three children, Katie (Kellie Parker), John Lennon's only son, Sean, and Zeke (Brandon Adams) on top of a rooftop waiting for MJ. Once MJ comes out of his house, there are people trying to kill him. Cut to a flashback where it shows MJ in a field playing soccer with the three kids, until their dog, Skipper runs into the woods. MJ and Katie follow him, where they find an underground home of Mr. Big, played by the king of the F word, Joe Pesci. His diabolical plan is to get all the children in the world injected with heroin, and is also obsessed with spiders. When Katie screams when a spider comes close to her, MJ and Katie escape after being noticed. Cut to present day, MJ is running from Mr. Big and his minions until he is cornered. A shooting star causes a Transformers knock-off with MJ turning into a car and escaping the gang. He arrives at a night-club where the kids were told to meet. He changes into his normal self, enters in the club that was once empty but now isn't, and the greatest MJ song in existence is started, Smooth Criminal. You might hate me for saying this, but I prefer this over Thriller. Don't get me wrong, Thriller is a masterpiece, but Smooth Criminal perfected everything that made Thriller groundbreaking for its time. While we are enjoying this segment, the plot comes back and kills the mood, with Mr. Big capturing Katie and MJ going to save her. Mr. Big beats Katie; MJ is whooped by his men, until a secret unknown power causes MJ to transform into Poptimus Prime (Nostalgia Critic), or MechaJackson (AVGN), and goes G.I. Joe (Nostalgia Critic) on the men. Seriously, how much do you want to bet that this made people think that MJ was an alien with all of these powers he got in this movie? Once he turns into a spaceship, Mr. Big fires his Marvin the Martian ray gun at MJ, taking him out with one shot. Seriously, was Mr. Big working with Marvin the Martian if he had that gun? Now Mr. Big is ready to kill the children, until MJ comes back, takes him down, and flies away without ever explaining why.

The final segment shows the children missing MJ, even though he was only gone for a minute or so, and he returns, maybe because the director thought MJ leaving without an explanation would be pretty weird. He takes the kids backstage for a surprise until his agents come in and say that MJ needs to go on stage. And what does he perform? The Beatles song, Come Together of course! The last we see of the three kids is them reuniting with Skipper.

How strange of a film is this? It seems more of an ego trip with a compilation of music videos than it does a feature length film. The only part of this that actually feels like an actual film is the Smooth Criminal bit. Actually, scratch that. If you want to watch this film, only watch the Smooth Criminal music video. That was the only part of this film that is worth watching. However, if you want to watch Moonwalker to reminisce on the King of Pop himself, do so. It seems appropriate since today does mark that it has been 4 years since his passing.

Well, thanks for joining me on this review. Stay tuned for Friday when I do my defensive review on my conclusion to Indiana Jones Month, Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.

The Last Crusade

James Rolfe has stated that the true predecessor to Indiana Jones is Agent 007, James Bond. That's why there is no coincidence that the first actor who portrayed James Bond, the coolest Scottish man you know in Motion Picture history, Sean Connery, was casted as Indiana's father, Henry Jones, in the 1989 film, "Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade," which also happens to be the best one out of the four, and one of my all time favorite films. But for those of you who have seen any or all of the James Bond films, you know that he would find himself in a ridiculous situation where no human being could survive. Set up a trap and see how he escapes, that's what it's all about.

James Lipton said to Harrison Ford when he was a guest on Inside the Actors Studio, "Now if my arithmetic is correct, Sean Connery, in order to be your father, would have to father you at the age of 12." To which Harrison responded, "But you know Sean, he could have done it." Lipton went on and said, "Leaving that aside for the moment, I thought the father/son story worked brilliantly in that movie." While reminiscing, Harrison said, "Oh, it was just pure joy. We felt very comfortable in that relationship with those words."

In this film, Lipton commented that it did us all the service in answering several questions that the world had been asking for seven years. At the end of the film, after teasing the audience throughout the entire movie, Henry Jones reveals that Indiana Jones's real name is Henry Jones Jr. and the dog was named Indiana.

Now onto the review. This film opens in 1912, when a 13-year-old Indiana Jones, played by River Phoenix, attempts to recover Francisco Vásquez de Coronado's cross, which he finally does in 1938. Denholm Elliott reprises his role as Indiana's friend, Marcus Brody from Raiders of the Lost Ark, who are assigned by Walter Donovan, played by Julian Glover, to find the Holy Grail. They go with Dr. Elsa Schneider, played by Allison Doody, picking up where Indiana's father left off before he disappeared. After Indiana finds and saves Henry, they work together, recovering Henry's diary, and using his research to go out and find the Grail before the Nazis get it. Indiana's father is a medieval literature professor, and Indiana says is the one "the student’s hope they don't get." As I had stated before, the relationship between Indiana and his father, Henry Jones Sr., is just the best scenes in the movie. Whenever you see them together, you can't take your eyes off of them. Harrison Ford and Sean Connery worked so well together, they are believable in the roles of father and son, and they just let the chemistry flow between the two of them. That is why you should see this movie, for the two of them. Trust me when I say that this is the best one of the four Indiana Jones films.

However, I do have to say there are a couple silly moments in this one that I have to address. The first one is after a thrilling chase of the Nazis gaining up on Indiana and Henry, but they manage to escape. Now, they get to a beach where an enemy Nazi plane comes right toward them. With that, Henry Jones Sr. uses his umbrella, scares a herd of seagulls, and becoming Hitchcock's The Birds, they smash up the windows and get caught up in the propeller. That takes down the plane. Like I said, the best parts were when Indiana and his father bonded whenever they were in danger, but taking out a plane with seagulls is a fine line between brilliant and dumb. Another one is when Indiana is fighting the Nazi on top of the tank, which is one of the best action scenes in any Indiana Jones movie, and they are coming to a cliff. However, it's like a tribute to the old cliffhangers, like in the 60s Batman serial when Batman and Robin are in a trap, and the narrator would ask if they would escape, saying to wait until the next episode. The whole idea is to trick the audience into thinking Indiana died when the tank exploded, but when he climbs back up, wouldn't you ask how he survived that? The whole action is covered, there are no cutaways, we just see it fall and smash. So it's just like the raft scene in The Temple of Doom, you can't survive that.

Like I have told you all before, this franchise is all about the supernatural. In The Last Crusade, the supernatural scene comes when Indiana Jones goes through the three challenges in the cave. The first one is when he survives the blades that would have sliced him into pieces, spells out the word Jehovah with stepping stones in Latin (which begins with I), and makes a leap of faith, which at first you don't see the bridge, but then realize that it was camouflaged. As soon as he enters in the cave, there is a knight which has been waiting for 700 years. Elsa and Donovan barge in, demanding that they choose it first, and Donovan picks the wrong cup, aging rapidly and disintegrating into dust. Indiana then chooses, after Donovan chose poorly, and he picks the right one.

Alright, enough spoilers, go watch the film, you'll love it. Next week will be a defensive review on The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.

Temple of Doom

According to James Rolfe, "Raiders of the Lost Ark is the peak of adventure cinema. It redefined the action genre and put Indiana Jones on the map as one of the greatest heroes in film history. The first three films showcased Harrison Ford in his prime, and pushed the limit on how much *** an action movie can kick. Back in the 80's, there wasn't much else to compare them to. What a lot of people don't know is that Lucas and Spielberg made Indiana Jones as a tribute to the classic old film serials and classic adventure films. Even the poster for Raiders of the Lost Ark says, "The Return of the Great Adventure." These movies were about treasure hunting and exotic locations. For the heroes, even the fedora, khakis and jacket were common attire. If you thought Indy was so original, look at Charleton Heston in Secret of the Incas, or Humphrey Bogart in Treasure of the Sierra Madre, or Alan Ladd in China. Even Ladd's character shares the same last name. These guys were rugged adventurers, sometimes cold and womanizing. Whether they used a gun, a whip or a sword, they would always overcome farfetched obstacles and pitfalls. In essence, Indiana Jones is like a big budget B movie, not meant to be taken seriously."

Now onto another prequel review to a very beloved franchise, which I haven't reviewed since I did my Star Wars blog. Today, I will look at "Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom," which came out in 1984. The film is set in 1935, a year before Raiders of the Lost Ark. I will say that even though this film isn't as good as Raiders of the Lost Ark, it's still a very good movie. Despite its flaws, and the really high risks it took, it's still a watchable, loveable movie.

The film opens up in Shanghai, China, with some sort of a Broadway musical being shown to the Chinese crowd in a restaurant. Where they got that giant stage in the restaurant, I can't say. I wouldn't blame anyone for thinking that they had put in the wrong movie at first before getting through those first few minutes. While making negotiations with some Chinese gangsters, led by the evil Lao Chi, played by Roy Chiao, Indiana escapes their clutches with the help of singer/actress Willie Scott, played by Kate Capshaw, and Short Round, played by Jonathan Ke Quan, who you might remember from the classic 80's film, The Goonies. I do have to say, that is a strange name to give to this kid. Short Round, really? That's the best name you could think up for the kid? When they are at the airport getting away, we see Spielberg, Lucas, Frank Marshall, Kathleen Kennedy, and Dan Aykroyd make cameos before they fly off.

When I mentioned the one silly moment from Raiders of the Lost Ark, there are a handful of silly moments in this one. The first one comes when the pilots of Lao Chi's plane jump out when they are over the Himalayas, leaving all of their cargo. The trio are stuck on the plane without gas, so they escape the plane with a deflatable rubber raft. They survive the fall, and they go for a ride down the mountains. James Rolfe comments, "The composite shots are pretty obvious, but that's what characterizes 80's action cinema" (Rolfe). Next thing you know, they go over a cliff into a river. Now that's unrealistic. When they arrive at the village, they find out from the locals that their government has taken the holy Sankara Stones and the children are forced into labor, leaving the water to dry up and the crops to die. This looks a job for....INDIANA JONES!!!

Why does Indiana bring Willie and Short Round with him? They contribute nothing to the film. Marion was at least a strong love interest, but Willie throws a fit over everything, and Short Round shouts all of his lines. They are just the worst damsel in distresses to rescue, and are not even worth it. LET THEM DIE!!! Another ridiculous moment is when they are at their camp ground for the night, and Willie just keeps screaming whenever she sees an animal. Whether it is a bat, an owl, a snake, or a monkey, it's just an animal Willie, not a slasher villain like Jason Voorhees, Mike Myers, Leatherface, or Freddy Krueger! SHUT UP!!! Also, Indy and Short Round are playing cards, Short Round says Indy cheats until Indy finds a card in Short Round's sleeve. Who cares if they cheat, don't they have bigger worries? With the ridiculous female stereotype and slapstick humor, I believe they just threw this scene in just to be funny when it actually isn't. Not one bit.

When they come to the palace, they are welcomed by the Maharajah Zalim Singh, played by Raj Singh, and the Prime Minister Chattar Lal, played by Roshan Seth. They throw them a banquet of baby snakes, large beetles, eyeball soup, and chilled monkey brains. Wait, this is supposed to be a PG film, right? What's with all of these disgusting things they are making them eat. But then, they find out that behind the statue in Willie's room, there are a series of tunnels that lead them to a Thuggee cult worshiping the Hindu goddess Kali with human sacrifice. Just like how the evil men in Raiders of the Lost Ark were melted by looking at the Ark, this cult in this film goes darker by ripping people's hearts out of their body, burning them in the fire, and the heart is burned as well. Who is this film made for, adults or children? This cult is lead by Mola Ram, played by the late Bollywood actor, Amrish Puri. When Indiana tries to fight them off, Zalim Singh starts to cheat by using a voodoo doll of Indy, which is another dumb moment. That is until Short Round notices, wrestles with Zalim Singh, and puts a torch in front of his face, which knocks him out of Mola Ram's spell. Really, a torch?

Anyways, I believe this film's strength is shown when Indy fights his demons when he falls under the spell, Short Round does help out by freeing Indy from the spell and helping to return the stones, unlike Willie, who was probably only around to just scream and shout, which got old extremely fast. Spielberg himself didn't like this one, but I believe that this film still has the Indiana Jones feel to it, and that it's still a film worth checking out. Nostalgia Critic himself criticized Kate Capshaw and Jonathan Ke Quan's performance, "the campy and unpleasant nature, stereotypical characters, plotholes and bad choreography, though he does give a pass on the infamous culturally insensitive Indian dinner scene. However, he does like the movie's mine car chase and does agree that while the film is technically bad, whether or not it is the worst in the series is debatable, and that it is at least memorable and that it at least took risks."

Final verdict: go watch it for crying out loud, it's an Indiana Jones film, you'll love it a lot. If you liked Raiders of the Lost Ark, then you'll love this one as well. I understand if you like this the least in the series, as I do as well. However, it's not as bad as everyone says it is. It's the silliest in the series, but it's also really enjoyable and you'll love it a lot. Just give it a chance and don't hate on it, it doesn't deserve all the unjustly hate that people give it. It was pushing an R rating, so shortly afterwards, Spielberg said to have a rating between PG and R, and the PG-13 rating was born. Now look out, because next week I am going to review the best film in the Indiana Jones series.

Raiders of the Lost Ark

Alright everyone, we have an exciting month ahead of us, because I am going to look at all of the films in this beloved franchise that started back in the 80s. It is none other than the collaborative effort of the great directors George Lucas and Steven Spielberg: "Indiana Jones." The wait is over folks, I am going to review this franchise, starting with the first film that came out in 1981, "Raiders of the Lost Ark."

George Lucas has hinted that Harrison Ford was the model for Indiana Jones almost from the beginning. This would come as no surprise: Lucas actually really thought of Harrison for the role of Indiana Jones, but didn't want to confuse it with the Star Wars franchise, and, what a shock, Harrison didn't want to confuse it with Star Wars either. When you compare Indiana Jones with Han Solo, Indiana Jones is more of a complex character because he had the opportunity for greater complexity and he's a lot smarter than Han Solo, and the breath of the character is so much greater. When Harrison Ford was a guest on Inside the Actors Studio, James Lipton commented that Indiana Jones is a very vulnerable action hero, although Lipton also believes that all of Harrison Ford's action heroes have some sort of vulnerability to them.

Harrison Ford has said that he thought the whole idea behind acting was to make an emotional relationship with the audience, to give them someone on stage that they could feel the story through. He wanted fear and vulnerability to be along with it, thinking that it would be more interesting and allow for more fun. There would be more humor with it and that is something Harrison has always been ambitious for. Just like how Michelle Pfeiffer had to train for Catwoman in Batman Returns, Harrison Ford had to learn the bullwhip, which he snapped his ear more than a few times, and Pfeiffer has also commented that it's very interesting what you can do with a whip. If you miss, the whip goes around your neck.

The costume was described that Indiana Jones would be wearing a gray fedora, so Harrison went with Anthony Pollock for the costume design. Harrison did like the hat, but did say that it kept falling off in the midst of things, and thought that it was a great movie joke that the hat never came off. The only method that Harrison says he has is to just tell the story, and how through that character he can help tell the story. The given circumstances of the script are what helps Harrison out and feeds it to them thoroughly, and that's why he has spent a lot of time on the words. It was difficult for Harrison to work until he had access to the directors and was able to encourage them to have some dialogue with him about the words and about how the scenes work. He would ask, "Why doesn't the scene end here and why does it go on for another 3-4 lines?" or "Why does he say that? That's inconsistent to what he said before." If he gets his questions answered there, if he does his exploration there, the rest of it comes very easily. He feels confident in that material, he feels confident in the ideas, the ideas become a part of him, and the next part is dressing up and making believe. But the process of belief is something you have to invest in, brick by brick.

Spielberg himself says that Lucas is the birth parent to Raiders of the Lost Ark, and it was his idea. Lucas had always wanted to do a serial, but not have the audience come back a week later, but give them act breaks inside the experience. This film has one of the most phenomenal openings in motion picture history. Spielberg shot this film in Tunisia, which was one of the places, but the shots in the desert was to overexpose the premise. The DB, Douglas Sloucomb, who shot the first three, always tried to let more light in just to make the desert scene open it up. Sloucomb is one of the few cinematographers that doesn't use a light meter.

Spielberg uses a lot of short lenses on most of his films because he likes to have the audience be the editor, have them choose who to look at from time to time. He doesn't like films that are all close up, cut to fast, and you can't catch your breath. A lot of his films, he tends to do three or four masters in the same scene, which gives the audience more geography and know where stuff is. The shoot lasted for 74 days, originally it was supposed to be about 86, and the set-ups were averaged about 35 a day.

If anyone remembers the scary moment with the snakes, here's a shocker: around 7,000 live snakes were used. First when they used 3,000 snakes, it didn't look enough, so they had 5,000 rubber snakes, which were controlled by wires, but since there were not many wires and more snakes, they had to put about 100 snakes on every wire. They went to every pet and gardening store in London to get different gardener snakes to get into the movie. There were 5 cobras that were controlled by the Animal Control people. Since they were dangerous, they had shot them with glass, and Spielberg mentions that in a bad print of the film, you can see Harrison reflected in the glass.

One morning, Harrison came in and had a definitive John Woo scene between a whip vs. a sword. Spielberg had about 3-4 days to shoot that scene. Harrison came in, literally doubled over, and said, "It was something I ate last night, and I literally only had an hour in me." Spielberg asked him, "Why don't you just shoot the guy?" which made the crew laugh. They said they would do it that way, and they did 4 shots, he shot the guy, and went back to the hotel. Spielberg told Lipton's student, "You have to understand that sometimes compromise is your bunk-mate, and compromise is sometimes the best thing that you can do for your film. When you have a tremendous dream, and you pull out all the stops to accomplish your dream and nothing will stop you, you become very rigid. You only see that moment, and you forget all the hundreds of details you need to think about at every single moment when you're making decisions and directing a picture. Sometimes you sort of go in there loose and figure if something doesn't work, you might get an even better, cheaper idea with your second thought. I always covet my second thoughts because those are the spots that are often better than the first ideas."

Enough about that, what about the film? Well, the film revolves around Indiana Jones in 1936, who is a professor of archeology, but the government asks him to go out and find the Ark of the Covenant before the Nazis do. For those of you who have read the Bible, you know that in the Old Testament, the Israelites used the Ark to become invincible, who revered it as the dwelling place of God. Amongst the Nazis is Indiana's nemesis René Belloq, played by Paul Freeman. Indiana gets help from his old girlfriend, Marion Ravenwood, played by Karen Allen, who I have to say is a really strong love interest. When he first meets her in the film, and she gives him a reuniting punch, which at first is like, "Why did you do that?" Karen Allen mentioned that, a few times, she actually punched Harrison. Another help that Indiana gets is Sallah, played by Gimli from the Lord of the Rings trilogy, John Rhys-Davis.

All around, it's an exciting film (maybe one of my favorites, but I'm not sure), but has a share of silly moments. One is when Indiana and Marion are fighting in Cairo, and one of the moments, like I had mentioned before, is when Indiana shoots a guy with a gun when he's swinging his sword around. The other is when Marion is fighting a guy with a knife, and she's holding a frying pan. When she runs into a house and the guy chases after her, we hear a *clunk* sound, and he falls out of the door. We're supposed to get the joke from the first one, but the other one, I just don't get. It's silly, but what the heck, let's just go with it, a lot of silly moments happen in these films. Something that I believe everyone should be cautious of, there are people who get melted by looking at the Ark, so beware of that graphic part near the end of this film.

Well anyway, hope you enjoyed today's review. Stay tuned for next week in my "Indiana Jones Month" reviews, when I look at the prequel, The Temple of Doom.

All the Time in the World

Ok, I just can't wait any longer. I have to get this review out of the way, or else I think I might just go crazy. Now, the third Spy Kids film came out in 2003, and you thought that Robert Rodriguez would have just left it as a trilogy that died in the third film, which is normally the case when it comes to trilogies. However, he didn't leave it there, and instead came out with a fourth installment 8 years later. In 2011, we got the most shameful sequel to a franchise that could have gone on for a long time, but instead killed it off, "Spy Kids 4D: All the Time in the World." You might be wondering, "What is 4D?' Well, according to Carey Bryson from About.com, "3D movie with Aromascope cards to convey the smell in certain scenes of the movie." Now that we got that out of the way, onto the review, which I just want to get over with immediately.

So the film starts off with the drop dead gorgeous actress, Jessica Alba, playing OSS Agent Marissa Cortez Wilson, who is Juni and Carmen's aunt. Just like in the first movie, she is expecting a baby, and is going to retire after she gives birth. Gee...does that NOT SOUND FAMILIAR!!!!! After she finally manages to arrest the villain Tick-Tock (no, I am not making that up), played by Jeremy Piven, she goes into labor and gives birth to her daughter, Maria Wilson/Spy Baby, played by Belle Solorzano and Genny Solorzano. Her husband, Wilbur, played by Joel McHale, hosts a spy catching show, not knowing that Marissa is a retired spy. He tries to spend enough time with his children, Rebecca and Cecil Wilson, played by Rowan Blanchard and Mason Cook, but can't because of his work. Also, time seems to be speeding up now, and everyone is losing track of time...literally. Time is speeding up to the end of the world. Tick-Tock has broken out, and is working for a villain known as the Timekeeper, also played by Piven. Just like in the last one, I have to ask, why give him that name. Wouldn't you call him the Timestealer since he is stealing time from everyone, not keeping it for himself?

Anyway, Rebecca hates her stepmom, Marissa, and is always trying to play a prank on her. In case you are wondering, Rebecca and Cecil's mom is dead, but she is mentioned while looking at her photos and when they talk about her. Another on-going annoyance is that Rebecca and Cecil keep betting with one another and say they owe each other a dollar. And yes, it does get old, "really" fast. Now Cecil is a genius who is really good at cracking codes, which I have to say is pretty cool, despite the fact that this film is a pain to sit through.

Now Marissa gets thrown back into action after her boss, strangely named Danger D'Amo, also played by Piven, throws her back into action. She takes Maria with her, and leaves Rebecca in the care of her red-sapphire necklace, which is the key to the Timekeeper's plan. When the house is under attack, their dog, Argonaut, voiced by the funny insult comic, Ricky Gervais, (a role I'm sure he wants to forget) talks to them about how to escape. Now guess what they use to get away from the Timekeeper's minions and get to the OSS? Vomit bags, and I am not kidding. Rebecca and Cecil meet Carmen, and Juni comes out of retirement to help them, saying that he was out being independent, which ironically, didn't work out so well. Also, when the minions come into the OSS and the kids try to get away, Argonaut asks them to do some things that makes him leak out oil, defecate silver balls that either make the minions trip or they are smoke bombs, and just for being funny, which it's not, they pull his paw, and he farts out a green gas. That's the main problem with this film, there are feces jokes and fart jokes that are not even funny, many of which involves Maria. Come on, every time you attempt that joke, it just makes it even more juvenile. Maria farts like 8 times, because the first one was just pure gold. They have to really keep showing that because that will make the audience laugh even more, or so they think.

Every time Rebecca and Cecil fight, it's like, "stop it already, it's starting to get really old and really annoying." When Juni enters in the picture again, Carmen and him start fighting like little kids again. What type of audience would want to sit through this torture? According to Bryson:

"The action and humor are similar to the original movie, but less original, because the concept has of course been done before. The new spy gadgets are less abundant and less creative. In fact, the movie mostly focuses on Step-mom Marissa and her ridiculous spying while pregnant or with a baby in tow. Overall, the storyline about the importance of not wasting time could have been a cool message to slide into an action movie, but it was also overdone and underwhelming. Kids may like this movie, but only a very narrow age range will love it.

"The movie contains some sibling bickering and a few rude words like "butt." Also expect the usual farting and poop jokes thanks to the baby. Some perilous scenes may be frightening to young children" (Bryson).

I just can't believe that such a great film series that could have been James Bond for kids had turned down to this torture. It's just unbelievable. What a shame! This feels like it's trying to either re-hash the first one or try and start over, since it was so great in the first one. Just because it worked the first time doesn't mean that you can try and do it again. It won't work!!!!! An example of this is where they have Carmen say her famous, "Oh shitake mushrooms" line that was so perfectly done in the first one. I actually thought she swore in the first one when she said that, but when I saw the quote on IMDB, then I realized what she actually said. You want to know what else? It wasn't funny here...really. Also, "it is the first of the series that uses "Aroma-scope" that allows people to smell odors and aromas from the film via scratch & sniff cards (reminiscent of the infamous 1960s Smell-O-Vision) last used theatrically in the 2003 animated film Rugrats Go Wild. This is the first film without the participation of Antonio Banderas and Carla Gugino and the first film without the distribution of Walt Disney Studios Motion Pictures and Miramax Films" (Wikipedia). You want to know what else? "Dimension Films announced in February 2012 that Spy Kids 5 was under talks to begin production possibly later in 2012 with an unknown (even prospective) release date. The original cast is expected to return" (Wikipedia). Why? This film was so bad, why keep dragging it on? It's just like what they are doing with the Scary Movie franchise, since I heard the fifth one was so bad. Just stop please.

Phew, what a relief! I finally got that over with. Thanks for joining in on "Spy Kids Month," and thanks for staying through the torture. I know it got painful throughout the month, but thankfully it's over and I am feeling much better. Stay tuned for more of my reviews coming right at you. I will see you all next month.

The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl

You all might be surprised that I am making this post in the morning. Well, I just want to get this film out of the way because I don't want to pro-long it to tonight. As I said this was "Spy Kids Month," but I thought May had 4 weeks instead of 5. So I guess you can call this "Robert Rodriguez Kids Film Month" with most of the month being on the Spy Kids franchise. Today's film is what you could consider a spin-off of Spy Kids, because it does share certain elements of those films. It is "The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl in 3-D," released in 2005. I didn't go see this in theaters when it came out because I thought it was just ripping off Spy Kids, but I did manage to see it either when it was free on "On Demand," or I watched it on one of the movie channels.

The story, according to the late Roger Ebert, "is an innocent and delightful children's tale that is spoiled by a disastrous decision to film most of it in lousy 3-D. Fully three quarters of the movie is in "3"-D, which looks more like 1-D to me, removing the brightness and life of the movie's colors and replacing them with a drab, listless palette, which is about as exciting as looking at a 3-D bowl of oatmeal.

"The 3-D process subtracts instead of adding. Ordinary 2-D movies look perfectly real enough for audiences and have for years; if it's not broke, don't fix it. Paradoxically, since it allegedly resembles our real-world vision, 3-D is less real than standard flat movies; 3-D acts as a distraction from character and story, giving us something to think about that during a good movie we should not be thinking about" (Ebert).

I do have to agree with him because most of the film is in 3-D. Not every film has to be in 3-D. People are just now abusing the 3-D technology, thinking that it is fancy, and just feel the need to release every single one of their new films in 3-D into the theaters. Now the origin of the film is actually quite interesting. Robert Rodriguez's son, Racer, who was 7 at the time (and also appears in this film as Sharkboy when he was 7), told him a story about a boy who grew gills and a fin and became half-shark, and a girl who incorporated fiery volcanic elements. Rodriguez encouraged his son to keep working on the story. Bad idea. The story is about Max, played by Cayden Boyd, who is a daydreamer, just like how Juni, in the first Spy Kids, wonders away by watching Floop on TV and wishes he was in the show. Max is picked on in school by a bully named Linus, played by Jacob Davich, because he carries around his Dream Journal, where he writes about Sharkboy and Lavagirl. When a tornado appears when there is a clear sky outside, Sharkboy, played by a young Taylor Lautner (another actor who put viewers to shame by appearing in "Twilight"), and Lavagirl, played by Taylor Dooley, tell Max that they need to take him to their home planet, Planet Drool, which sounds like something out of "Spaceballs" if you think about it. Max created Planet Drool, and it will be destroyed by darkness in the next 45 minutes. Sounds like your typical kid’s story. Why was this made into a film again?

So our trio go to the Planet, and they go through some interestingly named places, like the Stream of Consciousness, the Sea of Confusion, riding a Train of Thought, before arriving at a Dream Lair. Seriously, this shouldn't have been a kid’s film. It sounds like second grade fan-fiction, which is what it pretty much is. When they arrive there, they find Minus, who is also played by Davich. From there, many adventures just come about, some of them involving the Ice Princess, played by Sasha Pieterse, and a robot named Tobor, as well as an all-knowing character named Mr. Electric, which Max created out of his teacher, Mr. Electricidad. Want to know something? All three of these characters are played by the very funny Latino comedian who had his own Nickelodeon sitcom and hosted a late-night talk show for a while, George Lopez. "Mr. Electric appears as a big round smiling face in a frame outfitted with spindly arms and legs, and floats about like a busybody commentator, offering advice, issuing warning, and making a general nuisance of himself; one of his peculiarities is that he won't allow the kids on the planet to stop playing -- ever" (Ebert). What kind of a villain is that? I understand if you give kids a lot of time to play, like in the park or in the day-care center with their friends or other kids, but they'll eventually get tired after a while. Kids do have a lot of energy compared to adults, which I can easily agree with, but they do get tired as well, but not as easily as adults do. One of the ways Mr. Electric makes them play non-stop is having a group trapped on a roller coaster that never stops. Talk about a ride where a vomit bag is completely necessary to have with you.

"Sharkboy and Lavagirl" has the same upbeat charm that Rodriguez put into his "Spy Kids" trilogy, and the screenplay done by his 7-year-old son, Racer, involves "the kind of free-wheeling invention that kids enjoy; this is a movie where dream logic prevails" (Ebert). There is also the resemblance of having parents, including Max's, played by former WCW professional wrestler, David Arquette, and Kristen Davis. Because the real world scenes are in 2-D and Max's dreams and the Planet Drool scenes are in 3-D, we get an idea of what the movie would have looked like without the unnecessary dimension. Just like how in "Spy Kids 3-D: Game Over," there are moments where a sign flashes telling its viewers when to put on and take off the eye hurting 3-D glasses. Still though, I think this story would have been better as a kid’s book instead of a feature-film. However, I will say that this is something that families can see together, even though I think the parents won't enjoy it very much.

Well, next week is the finale of this month-long marathon. If you thought Rodriguez would have learned to stop with the "Spy Kids" film, and left it as a trilogy, think again. Even though I think everyone doesn't want to wait, just sit tight, we're almost done with this catastrophe.